To keep my son home from school trips

[victoria48]

My son is in reception and so far they have had 2 school trips with a 3rd coming up soon. Each one has been a 100 mile round trip on a coach on the motorway. I have asked each time if I can go along as a helper and have been turned down each time. I gave my son a choice of going on the trips and he said he didn't want to go. I know I could have easily pursuaded him but chose not to as I didn't think the trips were a good idea myself. The third one is coming up and I'm being pressured by his teacher to send him. Am I being unreasonable to keep him home?

We were never allowed to eat ours before :( we could take sweets for the coach but couldn't eat anything else

I know Jinsei. It never actually occured to me that she was stalking the school trip for years and years. I waved and shouted excitedly to her and my teacher marched us stone faced past her. I couldn't understand why she wasn't more friendlt to my mum. I think she had sussed her .

Sweets

Maybe a packet of spangles....

I normally had fruit pastels! I can still remember going to the shop the night before and being excited at being allowed extra sweets!

I sent a six year old on a residential trip. And he suffered with travel sickness. And I gave him joyrides to take. I also work in a school and take other peoples children on trips. I am an axis of trip evil.

At DS's school the reception classes regularly go for little trips (walking) to the library, park, local church, university colleges etc and the whole class get to go because the teacher doesn't always tell the parents, they have to sign a letter at the beginning of the year giving permission for the teacher to take them on little trips as and when she sees fit. They are only gone a few hours at most but they have an amazing time.

Obviously trips that include longer hours and travel are pre-arranged with letters of consent etc.

Victoria it is perfectly natural to worry about your ds. Every parent is anxious about their dc being ok without them. This doesn't get any easier as they grow up. My ds (aged 12) has recently returned from a week skiing abroad and I worried the whole time he was away. The travelling, accidents, ski injuries, losing luggage, losing his cash, being ill, being unhappy, etc. But as parents we have to let them go. What's that saying? 'Parents give their children two things - roots and wings'.

I would strongly recommend allowing your ds to go on the trip but speak first to the teacher or TA about your concerns. I once had a terribly anxious parent confide her fears in me. Her child had never been anywhere without her and she was so worried. She asked me to please, please, please watch her child the whole time. So I made sure the girl was in my group, I made sure she was by my side all day, I made sure I was the one to take her to the toilet, etc. She had a lovely time.

Another parent told me that if her ds fell asleep on the coach he would be sick when he woke up, so I made sure I sat next to him and talked to him, played I-Spy and other games, so that he did not fall asleep. He had a lovely time.

And there is a huge celebration if we all get back to school without anyone throwing up on the coach because this so rarely happens . But it doesn't spoil the day. The child recovers very quickly and has a lovely day.

Just pack a change of clothes (two if you think necessary) and let the staff know about travel sickness. Just try it, I am sure he will love it.

Surely it is a normal school day? Are you proposing that he has an unauthorised absence or are you expecting the year1 class teacher to look after him? It isn't just 'a jolly', it is part of the curriculum- what is he going to do when the rest do all the follow up things and he missed it , and they are all madly enthusiastic and he missed it?

What a lovely post Fairenuff .

YANBU, it is a long way, they are still so little, does the bus have seat belts? Why do trips have to be so elaborate???

I don't think schools do trip without seatbelts - I think it is illegal now (might be wrong but our school has been none to send back a bus without belts and wait for a proper coach to arrive).

none? known! don't know what happened there - sorry.

YABU.

What little boy would not want to spend the day watching planes, pretending to be a pilot and messing around in the visitor center? As some others have said - of course he will say he doesn't want to go - to him it's "school" or "home" and home will always come first, but that's because he doesn't know what to expect, partly because he's so young and also, I would hazard to guess, because he's not been on a school trip before because you haven't let him.

I think it's a shame, and I also think that maybe you're annoyed about being turned down all 3 times and are maybe, subconsciously, taking it our on your ds by automatically having a negative stance on the trip because of this, which is will pick up on.

Everyone frets about their child to a degree but the child is has not just started school, they have been in school since last September and are starting their last term in reception. There has already been two trips your DS has not been on maybe this one will make it three.

I agree 50 miles is a long way for a school trip in reception, we have done local trips but the principle isn't substantially different. Do you trust your school teachers and TA's to look after him if you cannot go? DO you think he is the first child they will ever have had who gets travel sick? Do you think they know him pretty well - they now see as much of him in the week as you do.

I have been on every school trip in recpetion and year 1 (ours aren't glamorous so they struggle to get volunteers) and what others have said earlier in the thread is absolutely true. Children are way more compliant in a school environment than outside. Last week I had to walk 3 children for about 15/20 minutes to a school trip across one busy main road and several side roads. Every child held hands when they were told do and several head counts were done.

My bigger concern as a parent would be why it is that I deem my child to be so much less capable of going on a school trip than the other younger children in the class and how I can address that. Also I'm afraid it would be inevitable in DS's class that by trip 3 if he wasn't coming again, the other children would be noticing and asking him why.

I'm going to go against the grain and say that yanbu op.

I'm a foundation stage teacher and there must be very few locations in the UK where it is really necessary and desirable to take Reception children so far on a trip. The Early Years is all about relating to the local environment and gaining understanding from it. Yes, a child may well enjoy the content of a trip that is further afield, but there's no need for it, and I think that it should be up to parents to decide whether or not to take children 3 hours away for a trip. There will be as much time spent traveling as at the destination. That doesn't seem like a good balance to me.

In Reception we do the following trips: walk to local greengrocer and buy (each child with own purse of money) vegetables and fruit. Back at school these are made into veggie soup and fruit salad, by the children.

We also walk to the local railway station, travel a couple of stops, go for a walk, have a play in a park and travel back by train again.

The third we do is the BIG Reception trip. We go on a coach to the local city farm (approx 3 miles away!) and meet the animals.

That's it. And these trips cover every learning goal and don't waste tons of hours sitting on a coach.

I wouldn't take a young class that far but the school has decided to do it; we still haven't established the alternative-unauthorised absence or go in year1 class?

As far as I know, in our school, if a child does not go on a trip, they have to go into another class for the day, or it's unauthorised absence.

That is the only choice- I don't think OP has said which.

OP did say that the school state that the trips are optional and those not attending should stay at home for the day.

007alert, your school trips sound really well thought out. I wish our school put as much thought into theirs.