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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep my son home from school trips

321 replies

victoria48 · 26/04/2012 21:18

My son is in reception and so far they have had 2 school trips with a 3rd coming up soon. Each one has been a 100 mile round trip on a coach on the motorway. I have asked each time if I can go along as a helper and have been turned down each time. I gave my son a choice of going on the trips and he said he didn't want to go. I know I could have easily pursuaded him but chose not to as I didn't think the trips were a good idea myself. The third one is coming up and I'm being pressured by his teacher to send him. Am I being unreasonable to keep him home?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2012 21:59

The local library????

Dear God....

Poor kids, I mean just why?

AnyFucker · 26/04/2012 21:59

really, toofat torun ?

your poor children, seriously

what do you think is going to happen to them ?

Jinsei · 26/04/2012 22:00

Some of the posts on this board are making me :(. My mum was a worrier, she tried not to let it take over but she did sometimes let it stop us from doing normal stuff, and I resented it.

We all worry about our kids, but a big part of parenting is learning to let go. Not all at once, but bit by bit, through opportunities like these. The children will be safe and well cared for. You will be worried, but you'll cope with it, and it'll all be worth it when he comes home bursting with excitement about the amazing day he has had.

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 22:00

I am really and at all this. DS1 was in Reception in 2003, has something changed and I am out of date? He went on every single trip.

Sirzy · 26/04/2012 22:00

I do wonder why some parents send their children to school if they have so little trust in the teachers?

Dawndonna · 26/04/2012 22:01

I do wonder if he's saying that he'll stay at home because he thinks that is what you want.
As for long motorway trips etc. Sorry but it's time to let go. It is really, really hard and actually, for me, got worse with each, not better. But as they get older they have a real need to be the same as the other kids, and honestly, you're not helping, long term. I think you should let him go on the next trip, tell him what a great time he'll have, and book lots of things for you to do that day, so that you're busy.
Good luck.

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 22:02

I also feel very sad for the teachers.

bumbleymummy · 26/04/2012 22:02

Worra, I am my child's teacher :) (HE)

You just said one teacher is looking after 4 children. I would not feel comfortable looking after 4 children when out and about. It's hard enough with 2 sometimes! I've been on school trips myself and seen plenty of others and more often than not, one or more children has gotten separated from the group and people are frantically looking for him/her. No thank you.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2012 22:03

And another thing

When I have the 4 kids in my group, I'm holding two hands and the other two are holding hands in front of me.

Everyone walks in twos...in a line and there's no way you're going to lose 4 kids if you're constantly watching them and counting.

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 26/04/2012 22:03

But bumbley,I presume you trust the teachers to ensure your childs safety at school.They make sure they don't just randomly wander off the school site during the day.

I know we love to think that we,as Mums,are the only ones that can really see to our child's needs,and really keep them safe,but tbh that's something we think because it makes us feel all warm and fluffy. Keeping our children safe and seeing to their needs also means giving them the opportunity to grow as their own little people and get some independence.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2012 22:04

Bumble you wouldn't feel comfortable because you're not a trained professional.

But these people are.

missmapp · 26/04/2012 22:04

I was stopped from going on school trips as a child because my mum was worried about safety, I know she had my best interests at heart, but i felt v left out and now, over 30 yrs later, it still annoys me!!!

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 26/04/2012 22:25

I am a worrier but I would never stop DS going on a trip

They walked to the local supermarket and I gave him a pep talk before hand on crossing roads, holding hands and what to do if he got lost!

I do worry about the coaches but he weekly goes on a 10 min coach trip for his sports lesson and accidents can happen on short and long journeys

At this age they are just starting to see the big wide world and begin to stretch their wings. it's also an age that starts to let parents let go little by little.

Nanny0gg · 26/04/2012 22:28

bumbleymummy
"DS1 is 6 now and I'd probably be ok with him going away for the day with someone I knew well and trusted but I still don't think I'd be comfortable with a class trip arrangement. I think when I feel he's at an age where he is responsible enough to look after himself I would feel better about it."

That'll be when he's about 25 then, yes?

bumbleymummy · 26/04/2012 22:29

Skinny, he's not at school but there's a big difference between a classroom and an enclosed playground and a strange public place filled with lots of other people.

Worra, unless they have an extra pair of hands and eyes at the back of their heads then they are no better equipped to look after 4 children than I am.

Sirzy · 26/04/2012 22:30

I have been on more school trips than I can count (as a helper) children in all primary years and by some miracle we have managed to never lose a child!

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 26/04/2012 22:43

Children at school are much more compliant. If the teacher asks them to hold hands with their partner and form a crocodile they will. When my DS went to the supermarket there was 1 adult to 4 kids - that's 2 pairs of kids. Who were also being shown round by a member of staff who would have noticed if one had done a runner!

Teachers are trained to deal with large groups of children. I am always impressed by what they manage to get the kids to do!

AnyFucker · 26/04/2012 22:44

MN can certainly open your eyes to a different world out there, sometimes !

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 26/04/2012 22:45

It would be interesting to know the statistics on children lost/injured/killed on school trips.

You sometimes here of fatalities but I'm sure it has always been secondary school kids

LadyBeagleEyes · 26/04/2012 22:46

Some of the posters here are unbelievable.
You're so protective your'e setting your kids up for bullies.
I bet in a few years time you'll be posting that my pfb is being bullied at school, when if you'd given them that freedom and equality with their peers they wouldn't end up being mummies boys/girls.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2012 22:48

Worra, unless they have an extra pair of hands and eyes at the back of their heads then they are no better equipped to look after 4 children than I am.

Then perhaps you should have more confidence in yourself?

Looking after 4 kids on a school trip is nothing like walking down the road on your own with 4 kids.

They're absolutely disciplined, there are teachers and TA's with them and helpers too. No-one steps out of line....it's like a walking caterpillar.

bumbleymummy · 26/04/2012 22:48

Rubbish LadyBeagle. Not making a 5 year old go on a school trip that he doesn't want to go on is lining him up for bullying? Don't be so ridiculous.

FayeGovan · 26/04/2012 22:49

op, if you feel he isn't missing out and doesn't seem to bothered about going, then keep him at home, it'll do no harm

once he's a bit bigger you'll probably feel more secure and happy for him to go on trips

as a mum of teenagers I'd say follow your own instincts, as you'll know by now everyone is an expert in your child, even those who have never met you both!

5madthings · 26/04/2012 22:50

YABU and he will be missing out, ime they talk about the trips in they days leading up to them and then they do some work about them, talking, writing, drawing etc in the days after the trip. they all have a good time and its good for them to learn they can go and do these things.

and as for not being able to watch 4 children at a time, you do realise that some parents have MORE than 4 children and are perfectly capable of watching them!

mumblesmum · 26/04/2012 22:50

Wait until he asks you if he can go to Ibiza in 12 years' time.

Let him go.... children have a herd mentality. I've never lost any (even come near to losing one).

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