This has made me so angry..working mums, we are the devils work

[sh1t]

I read this, and wish I hadn't

paid strangers to look after our kids

I sort of get the sentiment behind it, but the tone of smuggery just irks me, and the post is so skewed to mums, what about dads. The author claims she is a feminist, but I can't see it.

I'm a working mum and I thought it was well written, it didn't anger me, it was a response to nick clegg's ignorance and a good one.

Stronger wording was used than would be diplomatic if it were a SAHM addressing a working mum, but it was addressing NC so I think the strong wording was okay in that context

or of course she could be justifying her own decisions?

Like you, I get the sentiment behind it but everyone who might "sit in therapy" would comment on situations in their life they wish were different whether they are fully adjusted or have mental health issues (many of which are not to do with upbringing but a medical condition)! Which is kind of worrying statement from a so called therapist!

I hope my decisions are in my children's best interests but I'm sure I'll get some wrong!!!

yes the tone I got was very much someone defending their own position which they found threatened, rather than her attacking different lifestyles out of judgipantitis for no good reason/cause

YANBU. There is so much wrong with this article, don't even get me started.

The fact is, it's NOT always best for a baby to be cared for by her mother 24/7. It depends on the individual situation. Not all mothers are identical. And not all paid childcare is identical.

I am lucky enough to work part-time. Two days/week I look after my baby on my own. Three days/week my baby goes to a wonderful and carefully chosen childminder (aka a STRANGER ffs). Weekends my spouse and I look after the baby together. This is an arrangement that suits me marvellously. I am not arrogant enough to say that all other mums should do the same thing.

I fully respect women who choose to be full-time SAHMs. But why are they imposing their decision on everyone else?

Articles like this are setting feminism back decades.

yes walking wounded
paid strangers

Very Infammitory, no?

sort of undermines and dis-credits peoples ability to select good childcare and trust in that. Good, even excellent childcare does exist!

I would certainly be in therapy if my mum had been a SAHM. People are different and I don't see any harm in helping all of us with our different choices. But no, only the SAHM way is the right way, or your DC will grow up terribly damaged or at least walking wounded

marfisa yes that is how I read it too.

monkeymama the author writes well. It is the content that pisses me off!

this is also very degrading to the thousands of nursery workers who are employed in nurseries...

as a keyworker/ asst wateva you form a close bond with the close, plan their activities for their individual learning/ report bk to parents etc..

as a nursery nurse i have given 200% to my job role and experienced the highs and the lows of looking after the children eg taking first steps, crying when a 4 yr old said mummy for the first time and the lows of comforting distressed children who have been dosed up and flagged a couple of hrs later...

i agree that the nursery nurses are very low paid especially for the years of studying you have to partake, let alone the weeknight/weekend courses that are attended all on our free time may i add...

granted some nursery workers are awful and that is why during the 3-6 mth probationary period they are scrutinised on how well they interact with the children..they are soon sent packing....

also i have decided to come out of private sector nursery care as it is diabolical ...we are treated like crap for an extremely important job role that looks after the wellbeing, cares, educates and promotes learning in little ones...

I'd like to see the author sit in front of my friend, who brought two children up singlehandedly from birth. He'd put her straight in no time.

Gutted! Can't get link to work. Probably a good thing though as I work full time and I'm going straight from work to the pub tomorrow!

doormat, I think people who work with children and young people shout be paid alot more! The lowish wages are a disgrace.

graham in what way, what would your friend say?

What Marfisa said

And what about all the mothers who provide vital social care through their working lives? Teachers, nursery staff, carers, social workers....society would lose out if they were all at home for years.

fishface it is the huffington post, a letter to nick clegg.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the "paid strangers" who look after DS 3 days a week do a much better job than I do when he's with me all weekend.

I have total respect for SAHM's, I honestly don't think I could be one. But it should be for everyone to choose how they raise their kids.

dreadful article.
And I'm a SAHM....

And DH looks after DS 2 days a week - not sure what long term damage that must be causing him [hmmm]

shit yes we should

funchum yeh those professsions are paid strangers too ...lmfao this is unreal

chocolate I get the impression that the author has an agenda that all mothers should accept and live by. Dads? No mention of. Choices, individual circumstances? No thanks, just all do as she does.
I keep re-reading it and it is the lack of equality that keeps jumping out at me.

I thought it was rather sexist, she seemed to suggest that the options were either a child is looked after by its mother, or paid childcare.

Dreadful article in so many ways..........

theconversation.edu.au/work-keeps-mums-happy-and-children-well-adjusted-4832

Yes, good point about the exclusion of dads!

It's a very limited and defensive article. The writer assumes that all mothers are good mothers. Obviously they're not and a child who is being neglected or worse, harmed, would do much better to be cared for outside of the home for some if not all of the time. It's pretty arrogant for mothers like this one to take the moral high ground. My boys will grow up knowing that women can hold down a professional job and love and care for a family as well - my 19 year old is a great supporter of working women and is so anti gender stereotypes..... Unlike this writer!

I couldn't even finish that turgid, self-indulgent load of shite.

Do therapists have any friends?

The CMs (husband and wife) who look after my children are not strangers.

I find the whole SAHM/WOHM thing so pointlessly divisive.

How many women give up work the moment their first child is born and never go back until all their children have grown up?

Not many. Even my mother, an archetypal 70s/80s SAHM (complete with science degree she never used) ran her own business when we were children/teenagers.

Life for most of us involves different things at different times - some full-time working, some part-time, maybe working from home for a bit, taking parental leave to have extra time at home while keeping a job, working for yourself, SAHM while the kids are small, SAHM while the kids are older, not to even get into the different things Dads are increasingly doing too.

Simply couldn't be bothered reading it as it sounded like dross from the outset.

I am a WOHM and DS is brought up by DH, DM and excellent childcare.

I simply couldn't give the tinest of fucks what anyone else thinks about that.