LAPDANCE

[reeniemartini]

Hi,

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible but my head is a bit all over the place.

I'm getting married in October, we've been together 8 years and engaged for 18 months. I have always felt that i hit the jackpot with him, talented, funny kind and trustworthy. he came back from a stag weekend with mutual friends on Sunday night - and last night he told me they went to a lap dancing club and he paid for a dance. £20 - 3 mins.
I was floored. I always thought I was cool with that kind of stuff, thought it was even a bit of a giggle, one of my friends was even a lap dancer for a few years - so I am surprised how angry and upset I am.
He cried. He said he was sorry, he was stupid, he was too drunk and got caught up in the moment. He said he had to tell me because he never wanted to have any secrets from me, he said he was also upset because he didn't think it would feel like cheating but it did.
I asked for all the details even though I didn't want to hear, what did she look like? How/why did he choose her. Apparently it was as soon as they got through the door and she was the first that offered. It wasn't in a private area, she knickers on, a fishnet top and no bra. (God I feel sick just typing that)
I guess I'm so upset because I would have bet my life that he would NEVER do such a thing and now i feel stupid. I took my ring off - more to show how angry I was than anything and he looked like he was going to throw up - he just crumbled.
The groom didn't get a dance - and for some reason that makes it worse. His other friends did - they have all been married less than a year. I said it feels like the first chance you had you all disrespected your partners without any question or forethought. You all just conformed to the worst stereotype when I so much more faith in you than that.
Am I being unreasonable. i just don't know how to feel. I'm angry, upset but on the other hand am I just being a drama queen? He's promised me he'll never do anything like it again, that I don't deserve it and it was a stupid mistake. I just don't know how to feel.

Going on that, I'd say there are more men in his work place who seem 'obsessed' with porn because they finally have the freedom to access it away from their wives...than there are men who simply look at it now and then because their wives don't mind.

Totally agree with worra and her other comments.

Surely accessing porn at work is an act of gross misconduct? I know that my DH would sack any of his engineers if they watched porn at work! He won't allow them to have page 3 type pictures up in the workshop either, not only is it totally unprofessional, it's intimidating and unpleasant for any women who come into the factory, many of who are Muslim.

"One of the wives is a very prim and proper woman...a staunch feminist who is utterly convinced her DH is repulsed by porn.
But the truth is, they married when he was 25yrs old and what he thought he didn't like then...he obviously loves now that he's 43yrs old.
She on the other hand, is totally unaware that he looks at it like most of his workmates do."

Worra, you sound as if you really love the fact that you know this and she doesn't. Does it make you feel good when you speak to her while smirking behind her back?

worra merely is stating the facts. What should she do, go to the wife and tell her, your husband looks at porn. I would hope the wife laughs in her face and says so what, he is an adult.

Oh no he looks at porn, tears the walls of the citadel down, society is forsaken, its all over.

Some of you really need to grow up and find a real problem in your lives or someone elses and focus on that.

Thanfully the OP has seen sense and is putting this to bed, but no doubt a few of you will seek to stoke the flames a bit, in the hope that she abandons her man and ends up alone. Misery loves company right

tears the walls of the citadel down, society is forsaken, its all over

Did you get that from the Genuflect Dictionary?

line runner, can you please explain what you think genuflect means.

Three posts trying to have a jibe, yet you have yet to shown that the meaning is incorrect in the context it was placed.

As i said earlier, I eagerly await your next display of ignorance in 5 , 4 , 3 ....

Thank you for asking me to educate you. I'll likely pop back soon.

Sarcasm is always lost on the ignorant

Indeed.