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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have expected my son to have been fed?

373 replies

AngelWreakinHavoc · 23/04/2012 17:11

I wont blab on I will get straight to the point!

My ds (15) stayed at his friends house for the weekend, Friday night till Sunday night. All the time he was there he was not fed, no breakfast,lunch,tea, a snack NOTHING!

I made sure he ate friday before he went there but he asked for something to eat later on and was told he would have to buy his own food. At first in discussion with my OH we thought 'oh dear they must be skint and have no food in' then I thought well they either should have said he couldnt stay or shared food equally (I have done it many times fed loads of kids with very little food).

THEN......My ds told me, friday night they had a chinese and saturday night they had an indian, It beggers belief, My ds friends Dad drove them to the indian ordered food for the family then took my ds to the shop to get himself a microwave curry.Over the weekend all he had was 2 micro meals and a bought sandwich Luckily my ds had £10 with him which I presumed he would be spending on sweets probably a 4 pack (general stuff a 15yr old boy would buy).

I would not dream of having anyone stay at my house and not feed them or aibu?

OP posts:
AprilLilacs · 23/04/2012 17:34

How bizarre. I can only assume the parents were angry with their DS and were taking it out on his guest, trying to make your DS leave perhaps? But still absolutely incredible behaviour from them.

bumperella · 23/04/2012 17:34

That's just plain weird. I can see how them staying in the caravan would feel like a they were being given some privacy etc, but the rest is just odd.
Even if he was completely unwelcome, surely they should've taken it up woith you, not treated a 15-year-old boy like that??!! Meany freaky-freaks.

IAmBooyhoo · 23/04/2012 17:34

wow! jsut seen he wasn't even allowed in teh house excpet to poo/ that is awfull. your ds womnt want to go back there.

Original poster
AngelWreakinHavoc · 23/04/2012 17:34

He has said he wont go again (and I wont let him) but this friend is supposed to be coming with us in 3 weeks for a weekend at Haven, fully paid all he needs is his clothes and a little spending money. I think things have been a bit tense with him and his mate today so not sure whats happening now.

I really feel for my ds, he left here in all new clothes and come back honking lol, didnt have a wash,shower or anywhere to brush his teeth all weekend!

OP posts:
Goolash · 23/04/2012 17:34

That is very strange behaviour.

letsblowthistacostand · 23/04/2012 17:35

I'd be really mad esp now you mention the caravan thing. If they didn't want him to stay they should have said so and you could have made other arrangements. It's understandable not to want a weekend guest but unfathomable to agree to have him then treat him like that!!!

ScarlettAlexandra · 23/04/2012 17:35

how horrid are these people, please dnot let him stay again EVER.

its probably a 4 pack of mars bars etc. (that's how i buy them) Blush

alphabite · 23/04/2012 17:36

That is awful. Have you spoken to the parents? How could they treat a kid like that. They could surely have shared their take aways.

McHappyPants2012 · 23/04/2012 17:36

why would he need more than £10, when i have my 15 year old sister for the weekend i would never dream of taking any money off her.......she is my guest and will be treated like that.

OP did your son friend bring money over when he stayed the previous weekend

boringnickname · 23/04/2012 17:36

They sound horrible, but maybe don't take it out on their DS, i feel sorry for him with parents like that :( so be the bigger people and take him on the trip with you and make him eat dry bread while you have pizza!

AberdeenAgnes · 23/04/2012 17:36

I still remember how rude I thought my friend of many years was when she cooked boiled eggs and soldiers for her and her flatmate while I was round there visiting (at her invitation) and didn't offer me any Blush

I didn't even want eggy soldiers, it's just the rudeness of not offering, asking someone else if they want something and going off and cooking and eating in front of your guest.

Magneto · 23/04/2012 17:36

I would really have to say something. What complete knobs they are!

boringnickname · 23/04/2012 17:38

not judging scarlett :) i just thought it was really funny as this is exactly what i can see youngsters doing - two pints of lager and a packet of haribos! Grin

SimoneD · 23/04/2012 17:39

Im completely gobsmacked by this. I would be tempted to phone the mother and ask her to clarify why your son wasnt fed - obviously not as direct as that but I would want some answers, esp with their ds going away with you.
Weird people

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 23/04/2012 17:39

I can't believe this, or tgat so many others have similar stories.

AprilLilacs · 23/04/2012 17:39

Disinvite the boy from the caravan holiday. He should've stuck up for your DS, 15 is old enough. Your DS can invite a real friend.

Catsdontcare · 23/04/2012 17:40

Wow no way would his mate be coming away for the weekend with me after that!

Ample · 23/04/2012 17:40

YANBU

It's a spiteful thing to do. If you have guests at home - by invitation or not - you share. What kind of behaviour and attitude does this show their own children.
Hmm

faintpinkline · 23/04/2012 17:41

YANBU OP I would have been furious. As teenagers a group of us lived in and out of each others homes and whoever was there at meal times go fed. i hope I'll treat dd and her friends in the same way when the time comes

usualsuspect · 23/04/2012 17:42

I would still take his mate away with you , if your DS wants him to come.

Angelico · 23/04/2012 17:43

Have to tell you OP if I was taking their fecking son away on holiday and they had starved my child I would be on the fucking phone like a harpy!!! The holiday bit makes them sound EVEN MORE MENTAL!!! Who knew that was even possible?!

thisisyesterday · 23/04/2012 17:44

oh. my. god

I am lost for words (almost)

and their son is expecting a free holiday with you?
i'd be phoning them and telling them that it's off, unless they bloody well pay up.

i just can't even comprehend what would have been going on in their heads... your poor boy :(

stealthsquiggle · 23/04/2012 17:44

HellyMelly - we had "FHB" as well, and the opposite, "MIK" (more in kitchen) Grin

OP that is appalling. I used to come back cold and starving from friend's house but that was because their house was bloody freezing and they just got fed less than we did - I got the same as their DC. My DM, like me, would feed any passing child and make sure they got plenty to eat.

StateofConfusion · 23/04/2012 17:44

Wow there are no words, some people are very strange.

If I had the guts to do so --i dont-- I'd be contacting the parents asking for x amount to cover food seeing as they've set the president that it can't be expected!

AprilLilacs · 23/04/2012 17:45

Yeah, ring the parents and ask what was up. "Hello, I hear from DS that he wasn't allowed in your home nor had food or running water provided - why was that?"

EVEN IF their DS didn't tell them he'd invited yours, or something, their behaviour was reprehensible.