To think my children can share a bedroom

[letasongcarryyoualong]

I have 2 children. DD is 5 and DS is almost 3. I am desperate for another baby, in fact I'd really like another 2 children and have a family of four but practically one more is probably my limit.

However we live in a 2 bed house which because of debt and taking out a mortgage over more than the 25 year term and a 100% mortgage we're in negative equity on and I can't see how we're ever going to be able to afford to move out. Neither of us earn much although we earn enough to keep us from being eligible for benefits. Part of this is DH, he could go for promotions etc but is happy where he is and doesn't want to add to his responsibility. I work part time.

Since we already have a DD and a DS in one bedroom I can't see how it would make much difference to add another. If I had two DDs it might be different, they could share indefinitely but as it is they have to share anyway. And I do worry about that too. At what age will DD need her own space?

I think children sharing a bedroom is fine and for same sex children i dont see the problem , however i think by the time your daughter is 8/9 she will start to need her own privacy and space ,would you be able to move in 3 years ?

I think you are being selfish to have children tha you would struggle to afford.

If you cant see how you are ever going to move now, then why add to what will be an overcrowded house in a couple of years time if you have more children?

Both your children are almost school age, so why not go back to work once they are in school so that you can build up some savings and then move to a bigger house?

sent to soon , My friend has a 2 bed house which they love and dont want to move atm they have a boy/girl they are 7 and 10 , my friend put a futon in the livingroom and the children now have a room each

So u want to put 3 kids in the 1 room? How big is the room?

It's fine for two of them to share at this age but it really won't be ideal once they get bigger. I certainly wouldn't be thinking of having another in the room too.

How old do you think they would be before own room is a must? I want to be able to move in 5 years but realistically it won't be until DD is probably 12.

Could you extend or create an attic room?

My DCs share and don't mind but if your DD hits puberty at 9 it might be a problem. If your DP isn't career focused why doesn't he go pt until school and you go ft? Then you can move in 4/5 years?

how do you think a 12 year old girl would feel having to share a room with her brother ? or maybe 2 brothers if you have another boy ,

Mine adore sharing a room but they're both girls. I don't see how it would be different if they were older. Dd1 is 8 now and happily allows my nephew to sleep her room with her.

I actually think my two are closer because they share a room. We often to come to bed to find one has sneaked into bed with the other.

My two sisters shared a room up until I moved out, when they were 16 and 14. They are very close. Much closer with each other than they are with me.

We intend to do what my mum did when they get older and have the loft converted into a bedroom. We mentioned it to dd1 ear;ier this year and she replied "But how will fit bunk beds in the loft? Where will dd2 sleep?" They don't want to seperate yet.

Do you think doing out the loft would be an option? Whatever happens you will end up with two the same sex. I don't see any problem with those two sharing the biggest room.

Plus it will add value to your house and might enable you to move in the future.

Tbh I think it's worse for a 12 yo girl to share with a 9 yo boy than a toddler.

You and DP may have to decamp to a sofa bed by then. Is this not incentive enough for him to work harder?

Or if you do have zero equity there is the option of bankruptcy and private letting a 3 bed. Maybe speak to a money adviser.

Its ok for boy/girl to share when they are little but by about 8 or 9 they really need to be in seperate rooms.

I think its madness to add another baby, when you clearly have no roon for it!

50k for a loft conversion? In which world is this?

My mum's cost around £700 but that was done with free labour and the cheapest possible materials.

We were quoted around 2.5 to 3k (including the window) for our for mid range materials and (admittedly with vaire cheap labour from a friend) but I can't see how you would manage to spend 50k, unless you decoarted it with 24 carat gold?

You mean 5k, no?

We can't add a bedroom to the loft as the house is two flats, we have the flat on the ground floor. Dh earns more than I do, he is a teacher and doesn't want to gain any promotions, he just wants to stay in the classroom. I work part time for a local supermarket.

Yes puberty at 9 for a girl isnt really unusual

If you're in negative equity and have no means to move, there's no way I think having another baby is a good idea! Two children sharing isn't ideal, I don't think but deliberately getting pregnant so that three have to share is madness.

I think when DD gets to 10 she will need a girl only room but that could be shared with younger sister.

Can you convert the loft space in five years?

I would go for 3 if you really want three. The finances will get better - you are just at a very tricky stage in life. Most people find the young children stage hard going money wise.

I also think you should just let your DH be happy in his job. Maybe one of you could look at an extra way of getting a few more pennies in and both of you could reduce outgoings.

YABNU
I think it's fine for siblings to share bedrooms. It seems quite a modern and western thing to worry about boys and girls sharing rooms once they get a bit older. I know teenagers like their own space, but there may be ways you could get around this (eg if you have a diningroom or garage you don't use much this could be a den when friends come round etc).
If you gave the three of them the biggest room then there may be a way you could make it a bit more private. I used to have a friend who shared with her 2 brothers and they had some ikea storage in the middle of the room which went up the ceiling and they both put stuff on each side and it kind of divided the room a little bit with one bed on one side and bunks on the other.

You can buy a whole house for 50k around these parts, hence my shock. In fact your sister's extentsion cost more than our whole house

Can he tutor one night a week? People can be very unhappy in teaching - so let him stay where he is enjoying himself. Can you get a better paid job? Cleaning self employed is about a tenner or twelve pounds an hour here.

Can you get a small box room added to your ground floor flat in 5 years?

Or look to moving to a different area? Where are you based?

We have ds's. The eldest has his own room and the other 3 share. We have triple bunks fort them so there is still loads of room for them to play. Dc are 17, 12, 8 and 6.