To think my children can share a bedroom

[letasongcarryyoualong]

I have 2 children. DD is 5 and DS is almost 3. I am desperate for another baby, in fact I'd really like another 2 children and have a family of four but practically one more is probably my limit.

However we live in a 2 bed house which because of debt and taking out a mortgage over more than the 25 year term and a 100% mortgage we're in negative equity on and I can't see how we're ever going to be able to afford to move out. Neither of us earn much although we earn enough to keep us from being eligible for benefits. Part of this is DH, he could go for promotions etc but is happy where he is and doesn't want to add to his responsibility. I work part time.

Since we already have a DD and a DS in one bedroom I can't see how it would make much difference to add another. If I had two DDs it might be different, they could share indefinitely but as it is they have to share anyway. And I do worry about that too. At what age will DD need her own space?

year or two

I have three in one large room at the moment; 2,5, 7. We are getting ready to move house as I feel the seven year old really needs a bit of space. It's not a necessity but might make life a bit easier for us. Three in one room is fine but you have to be ruthless about toys and storage and clothing.

You have to be aware of the realities of a baby sharing with older siblings - we co slept for years with DD3 as her crying kept the older ones awake. As a result DD1 is very easy going about everything except people touching her stuff. I cleaned her shelving and rearranged it once and I have never seen her so upset. It's important that every child has their own 'bit' -mine have a couple of drawers and some shelving.

We lived in a massive house when I was young in a cheaper part of the country but I used to always be sleeping in my brothers room as we used to sit up chatting. Even up to age 17 when my bf used to sleep in my bed I used to be on my brothers floor and we are best of friends now. I think if you are a close family then you wont mind.

Also if you are short of money you gave to think about affording holidays, activities, play schemes, childcare. I have just spent £6 on ice creams for three children.

Of course you can economise, we have camping holidays etc, but you must think about how you will afford three sets of school shoes, wellies, gym kit even having three children going to different birthday parties each month adds up.

If you really really want one then have another baby- it's perfectly fine for them to share a room. If you take the smaller room & give them the big room between them, it will be fine. As DD gets older she can get changed in the bathroom if she wants to ... it's not ideal, but nor is it the end of the world :)

I don't see the prob? Whatever your 3rd child is, you will have two children of the same sex so once baby moves out of your room, they share with the other.

Whilst this may not be ideal, your chidlren do not legally have to have a bedroom to themself.

In victorian times you'd have 5 in a bed so I really wouldn't worry about two children sharing.

My sister and I had separate tooms but always kipped in together at weekends as we wanted to snuggle and chat together.

Nobody says anything about nomadic tribes all living in one room so I honestly wouldn't worry.

In years to come, if you can move, then the kids wil have their own rooms.

For ow though, the child that has its own room, make it the smaller so the two sharing have the bigger of the rooms and use clever storage to maximise space etc.

I shared a bedroom with my brother until he was 11 (I'm 5 years younger), then when he went to secondary school I shared with my 2 younger sisters. My mum always slept in the living room (and I thought it was normal to have a bed, not a sofa).
I don't think an own room is always a must, however if you had a 3rd DC I would have same sex sibling sharing a room, other sex sibling in your bedroom & you & DH on the sofabed in the living room.

uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090531162609AAn4m98

Does this help?

Is there not a law in the UK about opposite sex dc sharing a room? I have a feeling it might be illegal for opposite sex dc to share a room after the oldest reaches puberty or is 10 years old. You should probably check that. Even if I've remembered wrong, if you're not expecting to be able to move until dd is 12, then ds will be 10. I think it would be pretty inappropriate to have them sharing a room at that stage irrespective of whether or not there are other dc.
It's a bit of a red herring to talk about what was normal or acceptable in our generation or our parents, or in other cultures - your dc are living here and now, when it is not normal to have mixed sex pre-teens sharing a room.

What I'm really wondering about is what age does a child need their own room (not sharing with child of the opposite sex) in terms of privacy? Finances are pretty dire at the moment, we probably won't be able to move until 2018 very earliest when DD will be 11. I'd love all my children to have their own rooms but while I have no problem with 2 girls or 2 boys sharing some people seem to think 11 is far too old to share with her younger brother.

Putting a partition up wouldn't work, it isn't that sort of room unfortunately, there is a radiator and fitted double wardrobe. I want to give them their own space so much and I worry about them being bullied when they start school (we live in a well to do area.)

TeddyBare I thought the same thing, that's why my parents were given a council house when my older brother reached 10 yrs old. Our younger brother was also in the room so there were three of us sharing then.

As for the old "they did in in Victorian times" routine - they sent their children up chimneys too, maybe that's a source of extra income?

There isn't a law about kids sharing rooms, just regulations relating to social housing which is not relevant as the OP is a homeowner.

It only applies to council housing. Its not illegal

I just dont understand why people have more children than they can afford. Your finances are dire, so why the heck add to that burden by having more kids???

It isnt just a case of sharing, it is the cost of living in general.

If you're only worried about 2 dds having to share a room, or 2 dss, then I don't think you need to worry about bedrooms at all. Although you might need to worry about the other costs of having so many dc. They might fight more than they would otherwise because sharing a room in no guarantee that they will be friends, but they will survive. I'm confused though. If your house is 2 bedrooms and you have a boys' room and a girls' room, where will you be living?

You cannot afford a third. So don't do it.

If you COULD, I would think 3 in a room unless it's very big is too much, 2 is fine at least for a few years.

But again

you can't afford one.

I didn't realise it wasn't a "proper" law about mixed sex dc sharing. I still think it would be horribly inappropriate and very unfair if you can avoid it by any possible means, even if it's not illegal. It may have been normal once but it certainly isn't any more.

TeddyBare we don't have a girls room and a boys room. DD and DS share. A third child, whether a boy or a girl, would also have to share.

Moving out of the well to do area isn't that straightforward. We bought the flat years ago, taking out a huge mortgage, when we were young and very naive. We are now in negative equity and simply cannot afford to sell it. I wish we could because I would move to a 3 bed house in a shot but we would lose our deposit and be unable to pay back the mortgage. We are quite literally trapped here.

I want to go back to university and retrain at some point to hopefully do a job that would give us a better standard of living, it makes sense to have finished our family before then.

I'm guessing your dh isn't that keen on having a third child if he doesn't want promotion and knows you can't afford to move on your current income.

My 9 year old has had enough of sharing and she and her sister are as close as twins. Sometimes there comes a point where they need their own space to chill and concentrate on homework etc without littles ones messing with their stuff.
I would kick your DH up the arse ASAP before having another.