To agree or to refuse?

[Mama1980]

Hi I posted here a while back asking if I bu in thinking my scars shouldn't matter in my brothers wedding pics- long story short I am badly scarred including in my face following a car crash, I truly don't care, wear a bikini etc my sons friends think its awesome as i told them to figure out what type of creature made them cue dinosaurs/sharks etc :) I am supposed to be bridesmaid for my brother when my sister in law to be started fussing and asked me to find some way to cover my scars-tbh I was very hurt we discussed it (brother to my defence) I offered to withdraw from either the wedding party/photos or both but brother wouldn't hear of it. Now future sister in law has asked me to cover up with a wrap and has not mentioned this apparently to my brother- oh this is such a headache I don't want to cause a row but my dd 14 is ready to boycot the whole thing if I am made to cover up -she s very protective. I just can't seem to get my sister in law to well view things normally! So should I give in and cover up as best I can or refuse? And she is being unreasonable isn't she? I haven't lost all sense of perspective? Thanks in advance for reading this- last time I received many helpful words so I'm just asking your perspective again.

YANBU Your SIL2B is a shallow, nasty, vile cow. You need to tell your DB what she's up to.

Your DD, on the other hand, is a lovely young woman. You should be proud of her and yourself for the way you've brought her up :)

sil is not only BU she is being a proper bitch!

Every credit to your darling daughter. Don't wear it. Whether you tell him or not I don't know but don't wear it.

Outrageous!

As everyone has said she is being unreasonable.

my perfect wedding photos have my cousin (5yrs) eating crisps and my BIL drinking beer.

I would be so glad that you had survived the car crash and was able to attend my wedding.

What a superficial vile bitch is ur sil being? That's just plain rude and nasty 2 even say anything of the sort. Tell ur bro, and withdraw from the wedding as a protest!
She is BVVVVVVVVVVU

Just to update I spoke to brother today-he is mad very mad and apologetic I said I wouldn't be in
The wedding or the pictures but he won't hear of it so am waiting to see what they decide.

Oh dear, wonder if there will still be a wedding...

Delurking to say I've been following this thread with a face like this [shocked] and there's no way you should have to cover your scars. What a horrible, nasty thing to say.
Just seen your latest post, and so glad your brother is mad on your behalf - he sounds lovely.
Hope he gives her what for and tells her to get stuffed, or that you're not covering up and that's the end of it.

Well done mama, I think you did the right thing. And just to add, I think your dd sounds like a little star too, you obviously raised her right

well done you really are a very strong person and you don't deserve any of the flack from this. oneday sil will look back with shame

I hope I can do as good a job with my DD as you obviously have done with yours.

Just to add my two pen'orth, you are all amazing, except your sil2b, who is a bitch.

Hope your DB sorts it out. I feel v. sorry for him.

OP this thread has actually made me very teary eyed, you sound amazing. I think we all have moments of stupidity vanity and feeling body conscious when in fact we perhaps need it putting into perspective. I wish i could be like you and you have inspired me to try so thank you.

I think the person i feel most sorry for is your brother, he's going to be stuck with this cunt for a long time. (yes she is deserving of that title, i typed bitch first but it wasn't enough)

I'm horrified at this woman. If your brother is cut from the same cloth as you and your family, he'll call it all off.

Mama, you're worth ten of that horrible bitch, as is you're daughter (she sounds fierce, I like the sound of her)

She is behaving like BRIDEZILLA from hell

VVVV U indeed - just tell her that you are happy in your own skin, scars & all & if she can't get her head around that, then that's her problem not yours & perhaps she like to pride you with sack & ashes & a paper bag for your head - silly, silly woman

Bloody hell. You have managed to raise a selfless, wonderful daughter who understands that character is more important than looking like everyone else. You SIL should learn from her. I hope it all works out and you all have a great day.

Your SIL is being a complete bitch. OP you are worth a hundred of her. Your DD sounds fabulous. If i had a daughter i would want her to be like your DD.

She doesn't want you as a bridesmaid, does she? I imagine all these demands are designed to get you to withdraw. Whatever you decide to do, OP, play the long game. Make sure your relationship with your brother is not sabotaged by her.

I am so pleased that your brother is on your side with this. We hear on MN so many times about brothers not wanting to upset their Bridezillas.

Just another quick update as promised, again I really appreciate you all taking the time to read and post. Brother and her had a talk yesterday apparently she doesn't get what is wrong with wanting pretty wedding pictures descended into a huge row, my parents are now furious and dd saying she doesn't want to see someone who would say all this ever again. Brother is very upset saying he just doesn't understand her. here I knew its not my fault but still feel

oh dear she just doesnt get it at all! is she usualy this vacant and stuck up her own arse?!!

Oh Mama It is not your fault at all. It is her fault, every bride wants pretty wedding pictures but they will be just as pretty with you in them.

Try not to feel to sad.