To agree or to refuse?

[Mama1980]

Hi I posted here a while back asking if I bu in thinking my scars shouldn't matter in my brothers wedding pics- long story short I am badly scarred including in my face following a car crash, I truly don't care, wear a bikini etc my sons friends think its awesome as i told them to figure out what type of creature made them cue dinosaurs/sharks etc :) I am supposed to be bridesmaid for my brother when my sister in law to be started fussing and asked me to find some way to cover my scars-tbh I was very hurt we discussed it (brother to my defence) I offered to withdraw from either the wedding party/photos or both but brother wouldn't hear of it. Now future sister in law has asked me to cover up with a wrap and has not mentioned this apparently to my brother- oh this is such a headache I don't want to cause a row but my dd 14 is ready to boycot the whole thing if I am made to cover up -she s very protective. I just can't seem to get my sister in law to well view things normally! So should I give in and cover up as best I can or refuse? And she is being unreasonable isn't she? I haven't lost all sense of perspective? Thanks in advance for reading this- last time I received many helpful words so I'm just asking your perspective again.

Well, strength and fortitude seems to run in your family!

I am in AWE of you all. You, your DB and your DD.

I can't even begin to think what she could have said that was even worse than what she said to you! At least she did though, as her showing her true colours means that there is clearly no doubt about what your brother has to do.

You, your DD and your DB sound fab.
Your DB has dodged a bullet.

:( for your brother that it's come to this, as others have said though it sounds like he's had a lucky escape not that he'll see it that way at the moment. I hope he finds a lovely person who is worthy of him and all your family. I know you are :( for your brother but please remember that none of this is your fault.

oh mama :( i am so sorry it has come to this but i was wondering how on earth it could ever be resolved. great your brother is at yours and he has you and your children, you all sound like a very loving and close family.

he will hurt but i think he willalso realise he is better off and will find someone worthy of him xxx

He has had a lucky escape, even is he is devastated right now. In time, he'll meet the right woman for him who is proud to have such a fab SIL like you, OP.

I have been following this thread too. You are not to blame for this - she is. Your brother is great because for him this was a deal breaker and he said so.

May he find a lovely woman worthy of him.

OP your bro may be hurting right now but as time moves on he will be releived that hes had a lucky escape. He has done the right thing and you are IN NO WAY to blame for this. btw i hope he isnt taking the blame for the wedding being cancelled (she sounds like the sort who would be happy to lie about the reason why) You sound like a lovely family and she was in no way worthy of being part of it.
Im damn sure he will meet a lovely young woman in the future who is worthy of him. You sound like a wonderful family.xxxxx

I'm sure he will come out the other side of this with the help and support of you, his family and friends. Very sad - but it sounds like in the end, it was inevitable.

He sounds a very decent man and there will be someone else out there who deserves him.

I am totally that this cowbag could put a bunch of photos before a marriage and a family!!!!!

I am equally that she has such a shallow idea of perfection.

I think you, your brother and your dd are wonderful people and none of you deserve this shit.

hugs all round from me . Your brother has made the right choice.

What a horrible situation. You and your family sound far too lovely to have to deal with twunts like her!

I have a huge amount if respect for you and your brother. She didn't deserve him and so much better to find out now.

Don't feel bad though, it's not your fault!

Best thing that could have possibly happened - she showed her breathtakingly callous, shallow, unkind colours and your lovely brother has been spared a lifetime of shite.

No decent human being would behave or even think like she does. No question she is a bad'un.

Hope you are ok. Your brother will be absolutely fine, don't you worry.

Oh, I can't honestly believe that someone as lovely as your DB sounds will be on his own for long. He will realise in his grief that the person he thought he was in love with didn't actually exist and that will help pull him through - he'll be sad about it but no longer heartbroken. And then he'll find what he knows he wants much faster because, well, he now knows what he wants.

Sorry, waffling like mad - sat with DD and a high temp, wondering if it'll be a third night with no sleep. Anyway, I'm glad he's sought comfort at your house. You can help each other through it all.

This woman sounds ugly, in the truest sense of the word - your brother has had a lucky escape - fucking bitch

Agree with everyone else, your DB is lucky to find out that this woman has ideas utterly incompatible with his own before the wedding and children. You're vey strong, and you need to hold on to that as your brother will need your strength I think in the next couple of months xxx

Just read this. What an awful, vile dick

Your daughter is a credit to you, as is your brother. You obviously mean the world to him as well.

Mama1980 - You have to realise that you haven't caused any of this - that total bitch created her fate - losing a good man. You were too considerate of her feelings. Lord only knows why. I shall put it down to you being such a special, kind, thoughtful, accepting woman. I would have screamed at the cow. Anyway, your brother deserves better so although it doesn't feel like it now, its all for the best. You have a lovely family there so stick together. All the best to you all.

Morning just a quick update again for everyone kind enough to post and offer support. Dear brother called everyone yesterday close family know the reason but everyone else was just told they realised they were incompatible no specifics. He is doing ok I think we sat up most of last night talking and had a laugh and cry too. I assure you i am no saint there is plenty I wanted to say to her but he is my brother you know, and yep I dread to think what this was she said but it's not worth thinking about. Thanks again for all the support it is much appreciated.

Your brother will be ok - he has fantastic family

I have only just seen this thread and wanted to say you sound like a beautiful person inside and out.Your was to be sil is a bitch of the first order and even though your brother is upset now.he has had a lucky escape from such a horrible shallow person.

you are an amazing woman with a strong, confident spirit which, I bet, brushes off on those who know you. I so admire you. Personally I don't think I would cover up if I were you. She is B sooooooo U and so unfeeling, can see exactly how your DD feels. Sorry haven't read the entire thread but are you considering telling your DB?

so sorry OP, Just read your update! So, no need to worry about the wrap then!!!! Sounds as if your DB had a lucky escape. Very best of luck to you and your family.

Gosh I've only just found this thread and couldn't believe your original situation, OP. Then I actually slapped a hand over my open mouth when I read that the wedding has been called off.

Your DBro sounds lovely and your children do too. Best of luck to all of you.