to get arsey right back when dh was arsey with me for being uncontactable by phone for 90 minutes?

[bibbitybobbitybunny]

I am fecking livid and feeling extraordinarily sorry for myself all at the same time.

Basically, I sahm, and dh is self employed, works all over the place, random hours, goes away, no two days are the same sort of gig.

The dc are at primary school.

Anyway, nice day here, sun is out and I thought I'd make the most of it because there has been so much rain, with more to come, so I'd go out and do some gardening.

Meanwhile, school phoned here on the landline and on my mobile to say ds was feeling poorly and could I bring him home.

Well - I didn't hear those calls.

So they phoned dh and when he couldn't get hold of me either, he decided to leave work, come home on the bus (45 minutes) and collect ds from school.

When it started to rain and I came in from the garden, I picked up a call from school and said yes I'll come and get ds (we live 5 minutes walk away).

Met dh bringing ds home while I was on my way down to school!

Dh was very arsey with me for not having my mobile out in the garden.

I said fuxake, do I have to be at everyone's beck and call every minute of the chuffing day?

If I am not there to pick up the slack re. childcare then suddenly everyone is terribly inconvenienced, but does he appreciate me for being there to take care of this sort of thing normally? Does he my arse.

I really truly feel like fucking off on my own for a couple of weeks .

Gotta love aibu, eh. Doesn't allow for nuance does it? Everything just has to be black and white.

I went to the cashpoint the day before yesterday and couldn't get any money out because dh hadn't transferred money in time from his business account to our joint account. I could have been annoyed with him about that but as it doesn't happen all that often (perhaps once a year or so) and the dc had money in their piggy banks I could borrow, then it wasn't worth me even raising an eyebrow about it.

I don't expect him to be perfect, see.

I work FT, dh is at home. If this happened and I had to come home from the office I would have been pissed off and arsey - I would however have been in the wrong to be pissed off and arsey because my dh would have done nothing wrong!

You are both being unreasonable and reasonable and need to make up forthwith (and yes take that 2 week break - do it!!)

'I'm guessing someone needs to earn some "real money " to pay the bills (and I'm not saying you don't do a job... but it doesn't pay the mortgage, unfortunately, does it!)'

Thing is - what if you'd been at the swimming pool or gym and your phone was staying safe and dry in your locker? Or you were out doing the weekly shop but because you were in the middle of some tesco/asda/sainsbury's/etc superstore your phone wasn't picking up? Or the battery had gone flat and you hadn't noticed? Or visiting a friend in an area of low reception? If the mum was at work they still might be in a meeting or doing a surgery or something that made them uncontactable for an hour or two.

there are so many legitimate reasons that people don't answer their phone automatically (not saying that time in the garden isn't one btw) or pick up messages for an hour or three or four. It's ludicrous to expect people to be permanently withing moments of their phone just because their child is at school or nursery.

So who does pay the bills when one parent is a sahm? I don't mean it as a slight, but really? Do the kids give you their coins from the piggy bank?

"If one parent is at work and the other isn't the non working parent would be expected to be on call to pick up ill dc.

Yes? Or am I missing something"

I´m the non working parent but am not always contactable.

But then a couple of neighbours are the other contacts for collecting, not my husband.

I would be pissed off as well if I had to leave work and travel 45 mins on the bus...then 45 mins back just because you didn't take your mobile into the garden.

On the other hand, I'd say it's done now and hopefully lessons will be learnt.

He didn't have to though this is the point, but yet he got arsey anyway because he chose to do it.

Your DH has every right to be pissed off and if I were him I would be too. If you are going to spend all day in the garden surely you either take your phone out there with you or pop in regularly to check nobody has called ???

I would be very annoyed if I'd had to take time out of work to collect DD when DH was off. Very annoyed

YABU. Why not take mobile phone into the garden? As a SAHM its not fair that Dh has had to leave work. I often have a nap in the day if youngest is at nursery but take my phone (on silent) with me.

LOLOL 90minutes = all day

This is pointless if people won't read the thread.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Goodbye

That's what I was thinking too everlong he couldn't do anything right really according to some.

Read the feckin' thread, 90 minutes is not all day, and she did check!

YANBU to be pissed off. Yes you are a SAHP but there will be occasions that you may be out of contact. Possibly lack of mobile coverage somewhere/forgot phone/at dentist etc. You do not have a crystal ball to know the milisecond you will be required to drop everything and run! Is there anyone else you can name as next person to contact? I can understand your dp was inconvenienced but he is also a parent of your ds presumably...

Have a nice glass of wine etc and enjoy the weekend.

So if the child 'wasn't that ill' why did the school phone?

Not taking his stupidity out on OP is all he had to do tbh

And considering how arsey some of the OP's replies have been

It's hilarious that she's annoyed her DH was arsey with her!

So what do people do?? I am a SAHM. I am also a lone parent. DD1 is in reception and DD2 is at the CMs a couple of days a week. Am I meant to be at home all of the time during school hours just in case the school contacts me? Suppose I want to go to the gym (yeah, right), or go out for the day? Or go out for lunch or any one of a hundred other things? I have only been called by the school once as DD1 was a little under the weather. However, I was having a long soak in the bath with my phone off so didn't pick the message up until it was about time to go & pick her up anyway

How do people manage who work an hour or two away from home

And he didn´t have to leave work.

TBH I´m quite astonished that so many people would be pissed off at having to leave work for their own child´s sake due to their OH being uncontactable for 90mins!

And why would the school leave someone a message to collect then phone & leave someone else the same message

Bibs, I know what you mean about feeling that you are being taken for granted / not fully appreciated

I have been SAHM part-time for nearly 11 years now and I often fantasize about disappearing off for a couple of weeks to see what the carnage is like on my return! DH is keen for me to go back to working full-time in September when DS goes to Secondary school - I said he should be careful what he wishes for (as we should be splitting the home stuff 50:50 if we are both working full-time), but the reality is probably that I will still be doing the lions share as my hours will be shorter and my work is much nearer home