to get arsey right back when dh was arsey with me for being uncontactable by phone for 90 minutes?

[bibbitybobbitybunny]

I am fecking livid and feeling extraordinarily sorry for myself all at the same time.

Basically, I sahm, and dh is self employed, works all over the place, random hours, goes away, no two days are the same sort of gig.

The dc are at primary school.

Anyway, nice day here, sun is out and I thought I'd make the most of it because there has been so much rain, with more to come, so I'd go out and do some gardening.

Meanwhile, school phoned here on the landline and on my mobile to say ds was feeling poorly and could I bring him home.

Well - I didn't hear those calls.

So they phoned dh and when he couldn't get hold of me either, he decided to leave work, come home on the bus (45 minutes) and collect ds from school.

When it started to rain and I came in from the garden, I picked up a call from school and said yes I'll come and get ds (we live 5 minutes walk away).

Met dh bringing ds home while I was on my way down to school!

Dh was very arsey with me for not having my mobile out in the garden.

I said fuxake, do I have to be at everyone's beck and call every minute of the chuffing day?

If I am not there to pick up the slack re. childcare then suddenly everyone is terribly inconvenienced, but does he appreciate me for being there to take care of this sort of thing normally? Does he my arse.

I really truly feel like fucking off on my own for a couple of weeks .

She forgot her mobile, even sahm s drop juggling balls on occasion.

I know just how you feel though work full time now but
From home so still expected to do all child care running around as well.

Repeat get wine and no sex for him tonight bobbity as he cross to u.

Yabu, it is your responsibility to collect dc from school if they are ill as you are a sahm, it would be different if you both worked and he expected you to do all the collecting.

Rindercilla, the OP has a mobile phone. Am sure she would probably clarify that for you if she hadn't already flounced off due to people agreeing with her DHs point.

I don't expect DH to get cross with me over a lone mistake. I don't get arsey with him when he cocks up. We aren't children that we need to be scolded. OP forgot her phone. It happens. DS wasn't at death's door. School didn't even ask DH to pick up child - they said they'd ring her again - he just decided to do so for some reason and then proceeded to be cross.

Mistakes happen. No-one's dead. The world hasn't blown up.

Oh Bibbity, that sucks :(

Of course YANBU....but it does sound as though there's a bit more going on here than just being pissed off with your dh behaving like a prick over-reacting to one incident? Reading your posts, it looks like your doing more than the lion's share of keeping the general show on the road and feeling a bit unsupported and unappreciated by your dh?

Maybe have a (non-pissed off) word with him at some point when it isn't working (hah!) about how you're feeling? He may well not have a clue...

In the meantime, you're utterly and completely in the clear, in my book :)

you're not your....

Bibbity - I think yabu, sorry.

However, its shit being unappreciated. I am a sahm to ds who is 5 and in school and dd who is 18 months. Dh thinks I sit about doing nothing all day, he thinks the house should be spotless at all times because I'm at home, he forgets the school run, the naps, the feeding, the playing, the shopping, the toddler groups, the nappies, the endless stream of requests that are always urgent. I don't know how to make him see what its like because, frankly, he doesn't want to. He has had ONE day (9-5) on his own with both kids ever. He went to his mums.

Thing is, dh isn't actually a bad guy, he gets up with the kids so I can have a lie in, he is pretty hands on when he's here but he just seems to forget that its hard work and also, more than that, it is, for me, hard on me mentally and emotionally, its so draining. It would be nice for someone to recognise that and say well done once in a while instead of 'you forgot to buy yogurt' / 'the kitchens a mess' / 'why are there toys all over the place'.

Sorry, obviously had a lot more than I thought to get off my chest there!!

Well obviously yabu for not having the phone surgically implanted in your head if you will have the audacity to not remain in the home as a sahm The clue is in the acronym!

For the record a big YANBU!

Probably not worth answering but fwiw B, I think you would not be out of order to be arsey back but you would be wasting your time as it would just be your fault you are annoyed.

I expect there has been times when you have thad to drop everything and go and attend to something and you haven't told your DH. Clearly you should start telling him everything so he can bear that in mind if you ever don't hear your phone again.

I went to get dd from nursery and of course the only time I didn't take my phone the school rang as ds had fallen and banged his head. They rang both phones but didn't ring dh. I got the message 10-15 minutes later and went and picked him up.

I once missed a call from the school because my mobile was on silent (in the kitchen) and I was watching '60 minute makeover' in the living room . For some reason they had my wrong landline number so couldn't reach me on that either. Next thing I know my husband is in the hallway with my 6 year old who has ran 100mph into a climbing frame and has the worst black eye I've ever seen! In fact, we had to get his eye socket x-rayed at A&E. I felt terrible to be honest as I do agree with posters here that it is part of the 'role' of being at home. However, my DH was great about it - he actually saw the funny side and has since relished in telling the story to others! So, no, you shouldn't feel bad for not being permanently attached to your phone but I do think it's important to be contactable at all times during school hours if technology enables us to. Got to admit, if my situation had been the other way around, I'd have had right go at him!!

at 60 Minute Makeover!

Don't you know you should be put in the stocks for that Gooshka? I was actually doing something active and useful and beneficial to my family when I was temporarily out of contact, but you were watching rubbish tv??? SHAME on you young lady!

I still think this is nothing to do with who works and who doesn't, it's a total red herring, it's to do with who is reasonably expected to be contactable at that time.

I do think you are annoyed about other things bibbety, possibly rightly so.

Why on earth did try school phone your DH to tell him NOT to pick your child up????

I really don't get that bit!

I agree with rj it's a bit of a no brainer that if one person's at work and the other's at home, the person at home should be contactable.

It's also understandable the person doing a 90+ minute round trip to pick the child up might be arsey.

Mistakes happen, best to learn from them and move on.

Also don't get why someone's amazed at my comment that being a SAHM doesn't pay the mortgage. It bloody doesn't! If it did, I'd be a SAHM!

I'm not saying that if you could give it a value of a salary it wouldn't be sizeable... But unfortunately, in this country, people are not given much help if they want to stay at home, are they. Anyway, diverting from the thread, sorry.

yanbu

dp is acting like a dick, I'm a sahm so I'm now going to nail my phone to my forehead

"the person at home should be contactable."

I am-if they happen to phone the landline when I´m at home.

I don´t want to be contactable when I´m out with the dog/shopping/swimming...

OP-YANBU.

Fair enough if you don't want to be contactable but if neither parent is...well that just leaves a sick child at school with no-one wanting to be contactable.

YANBU.

I'm appalled at the comments on here! Bibbity wasn't face down in a glass of Pinot FFS! She was outside.

Her H didn't even SPEAK to the school, just got a message and left work to get him. yes he might be a bit put out, but if this is the 1st time Bibbity's dropped a ball in 11 years.... that is fair enough and well within reason.

he has NO right to be arsey. He might be inconvenienced, but so what. once in 1 years is a fair enough run. Mistakes happen.

YANBU, I am often not contactable by phone when my children are at school.

Not everyone has a mobile phone anyway.

It was just bad luck that you happened to be outside when your child happened to be ill.

"Ok diddl you're out shopping, swimming, walking the dog, you wouldn't want to be contacted if one of your dc's had an accident or was taken ill?

Why??"

Of course I want to be contacted-but if I miss the call-that´s tough for me/my child, isn´t it, & I´ll deal with it as soon as I can-as OP did.

(I do come home between activities so can check the phone)

YABU if he had to leave work while you were doing recreational gardening