To think normal mothers wouldn't do this?

[pinkyp]

Was at a party at a play centre today with my ds - other kids were also there that wernt at the party. I found a seat, a mum I know sat next to me, there was a woman with a tiny baby sat at the opposite side to us. The woman started talking to the mum and next min got up walking off leaving the baby. The mum turned to me and said the woman had nipped out for a cig and asked her to watch her 3 week old, she didn't know her. Ten mins later the woman came back then went away for 5 more mins for a drink. Me and the other mum moved when the party had lunch and 2 times when we looked over the baby had been left on her own. The last time we saw her other boy (5) was watching the baby whilst she was having a fag.

Now I'm no perfect mum but to leave a 3 week old baby with a stranger then alone twice and again with a 5 year old watching for a cig is a bit...well shit really?

Baby was in a car seat so could of been taken with the mum, not ideal when smoking but surely better than risk being taken. Or maybe the mum could of not had 4 fags in the space of 1&1/2hrs perhaps just one? You could see the mums back through the window from where we were sat inside so not even looking.

we already know if you smoke and have children you are selfish so whats new

spending money on fags rather than you family not to mention possibly making them ill or killing them

children whose parents smoke are more likely to have asthma or ear infections ect and are more likey to take up smoking themsleves

they dont care they might make their child ill and you expect them to care about leaving a 3 week old to a random women so she can fullfil her own needs

Also assuming she left 5 yr old too out of sight? I think it's unreasonable to assume she is an unfit mother, but at the same time clearly not someone who was really thinking straight or acting within normal social parameters.
I actually saw a 3ish year old girl sat in a buggy - unstrapped - outside a shop on a busy London high street. I peeped in
To see I assume her dad, browsing without a care in the world. I was too wussy to say anything. Wanted to do a thread but was too scared of the backlash - so feel for you op!

I think the title "normal mothers" is very subjective.
What is a "normal mother?"
By implication the title assumes that this mother is "abnormal" the opposite of normal.
I abhor smoking, but as 20% of the British population does smoke, it is likely that many of those will be mothers and if they fancy a fag, or whatever thought process smokers go through, then what else could she do.

When ds played football there was a heavily pregnant mother who at every single training session lit up a fag. I used to think it was awful, the training lasted 1 hour and I used to think how many fags must she smoke to need to do that at football training, in full view of everyone. She was a nice woman though and it didn't stop me from letting ds play at her house or anything.

Sometimes I wonder how many of these responses are real? Or simply a deliberate wind up.

I disagree perry

Sorry for double post. Phone is possessed

I was at a public loo the other day, desperate to use it (leakage TMI) with DDs 2.9 and 9 months. I asked an older lady, who had some older children (10-12 ish), grandchildren perhaps?) to help me so I could go, and she refused, looked at me as if I were a total loon. I really wish people were less scared and had more of a 'village to raise a child' mentality. It's threads like this that stop people from helping each other.

I would say that imo some of the comments on here are just so unnecessarily cruel, judgemental or plainly ridiculous that I would hope that they are said in jest at best or whilst trolling (hopes)
It's clear by their authors wild leaps of illogic the posts to which I refer.

No it simply is none of your business. It might not be something you'd do, but it doesn't mean you have the right to judge someone else for it.

It is a sad day when you can't leave your baby with another mother for a couple of minutes. Some of you lot need more fulfilling lives.

I wouldn't have done it. Not all mothers are trustworthy by default.

@bojangles i find ur comment quite offensive to say that mothers who smoke dont careabout their children is qute possibly the biggest load of s**t ive ever heard i smoke yet i never have and never will smoke around my children i do not not put fags before them ever!!!!

I agree that nitpicking judgemental thoughts aimed at others don't hurt anyone except perhaps the person thinking them if they remain in that person's mind.

But those "thoughts" cease to be "thoughts" when expressed on a parenting site. Or in the press. Or in a gang of mothers, tut tutting.
They then become something more IMO.
They can then become unhelpful or damaging or unsupportive or mean.

Why not, if we really are concerned or worried about a situation, offer some support or help.

go back 30 yrs and most mums were on the same team and would help each other fast forward 30yrs and were on here judging each other on what we do and how we do it wheres the soldidarity between women

i am a smoker and would never leave my DC with a stranger. Not because they may be taken it is because they are out enjoying time as a family.

i normally pay for my sister to come and she watched the DC if i need to go out.

Loads of people do this at my local children's centre. They're out for 5 minutes, I wouldn't see it as a problem. Certainly better than taking the child out with them.

I also smoke occasionally and while I can quite easily manage the duration of a toddler group without a fag, it's none of mine or anyone else's business if they can't or don't want to go that long.

I left my 3 year old outside a train station toilet with another mum once, he refused to come in with me. When I got back he said that the woman's children had made a horrible face at him. I told him he should have come with me then!

Ever long
If I was at hateful soft play I'd be happy to keep weather eye over a new baby so a mum could have a fag
I'd also be happy enough to chat to her or offer if she seemed to need any help.

I have been helped on occasion but I've been tut tutted over more often. I can let you guess which is actually more useful all round

Childminder in our town used to leave kids in the car in supermarket car park often.

She was the much sought after 'waiting list for years child minder'...mums used to boast they had got their little ones into her care.

Used to worry me the choking risk more than anything