To think normal mothers wouldn't do this?

[pinkyp]

Was at a party at a play centre today with my ds - other kids were also there that wernt at the party. I found a seat, a mum I know sat next to me, there was a woman with a tiny baby sat at the opposite side to us. The woman started talking to the mum and next min got up walking off leaving the baby. The mum turned to me and said the woman had nipped out for a cig and asked her to watch her 3 week old, she didn't know her. Ten mins later the woman came back then went away for 5 more mins for a drink. Me and the other mum moved when the party had lunch and 2 times when we looked over the baby had been left on her own. The last time we saw her other boy (5) was watching the baby whilst she was having a fag.

Now I'm no perfect mum but to leave a 3 week old baby with a stranger then alone twice and again with a 5 year old watching for a cig is a bit...well shit really?

Baby was in a car seat so could of been taken with the mum, not ideal when smoking but surely better than risk being taken. Or maybe the mum could of not had 4 fags in the space of 1&1/2hrs perhaps just one? You could see the mums back through the window from where we were sat inside so not even looking.

doihaveto Don't be so bloody paranoid...I'm considered an older Mum too....my sister lives in a small community where people trust each other...she did a similar thiing with her newborn twins more than once....I did think but I also understood that she was knackered and had her own issues. Having a baby doesn't turn a woman PERFECT no matter what her age.

What I find offensive is the JUDGING a woman is open too (from other women too) as soon as she has a baby she is put under scrutiiny by all her peers and it's SHIT.

Of course there are big responsibilities with a baby but bitchy little ops like this can serve nobody well. OF COURSE people would generally not be comfy doing what the woman did....but are we so pathetic we need to gain our confidence from looking down our noses at other women?

zuke she didn't leave her alone. She left the baby near some other women and asked one to keep an eye on the baby.

But oh GOD no! We can't DO THAT!!!! SOmeone might snatch the baby....other women can't be trusted even in a playcentre.

I agree that this Mum's behaviour isn't great but as an aside, what exactly is a 'normal' mother?

OP, as much as I love putting on my judgey pants, your thread title immediately put me off.

everlong but so much on MN is about judging and picking and finding fault. We never know the people in question...or their lives...but people gain such strenght from seeing the weakness and dissecting tiny incidendents like this.

And personally...the more I think about it....the women who left her baby may have thought she'd met a frendly woman to chat to and that leaving her baby was ok. It was a couple of minutes ffs not overnight.

Awkward It's somethng that I have seen other older Mums do as they're a different generation.

Strangely I am not paranoid - I am perfectly happy in my parenting choices, however, that is offensive.

I think you are being very judgy and bitchy.
She asked someone to keep an eye on her baby, so what.
She was amongst other mothers at a party, not some satanic worshippers midnight sex orgy.
I have been asked several times by complete strangers to watch babies/children that I don't know from Adam, I have never thought what a shit parent/grandparent.
Mothers get a hrd enough time as it is.
I don't smoke btw and think it is a vile habit.

Erm everlong I never calleed "Us" that.

It depends how long she was in softplay doesn't it I have been known to stay there all day If she was there all day, 3 x 5minutes of leaving baby is ni more shocking than 1 x 5 minutes leaving if baby un ABs hours time span

I leave my 3 and one yo in the car when I HAVE to deliver my elder dd to the school door ( not allowed to be left in school grounds and watched walking in must be hand delivered to teacher for some reason) I could bundle them up and walk them in the rain etc but tbh I can't be arsed as I'm gone 5 mins and leave them suitably without swallowing strangling accoutrements.
Loads of mothers at he school judge that and I don't care.

I think the mother left the child in a safe warm place for a few minutes. Babies are fairly non mobile and thus safe in their little snug.

Soft play worries me because of adults drinking hot drinks as long as the b was safe from that I don't see an issue.

Get a real worry, it'll make you happier. (grin)

What???

In an hours time span

Please please please don't bring up Madeleine McCann or her parents. It is grotesque that anyone should do so and showing incredibly poor taste and judgement.

I think it's one of those where you raise your eyebrows and there's not much you can do. Maybe put it down to the exhaustion of having a new born. However I think it would be more 'normal' to at least look inside towards your baby than have your back to the glass. Once would have been ok but several times ... Still, difficult to judge just from that one occasion.

Don't see the big deal. OP very worried about possible child snatchers when it's clear no one there was a CS, yet many were quite paranoid about looking out for them on baby's behalf.

I disagree perry

Unfortunate thread title; normality is so subjective.
Are people who say "could of" instead of "could have" normal, for example?

The smoking issue is a no-brainer, as smoking around or near children is horrible.

But leaving a baby in plain sight for a few minutes after asking another mother to keep an eye on it seems reasonable, so I'm not prepared to throw this woman under the bus.