to be enraged and disgusted by my (ex) friend's behaviour? And what should I do?

[OAM2009]

She blanked me. Again. In the gymnastics changing room in front of a mutual friend. And all our children. I said "Oh, hello" without thinking when I saw her, only for her to utterly ignore me.

Long story short - said stupid thing to friend ( if she (your child) had done that to me, I'd have slapped her! ) I know, too much, was only meant as a figure of speech, wasn't really planning to physically attack her child! Didn't realise she was very upset and offended (yes, again) so didn't apologise until some days later. She accepted my apology and has not spoken to or acknowledged me since.

This is the woman who took in DS1 at 2.30am, fed him breakfast and phoned the in-laws while I was in hospital having DS2. We've been friends since she moved in to our cul-de-sac 3+ years ago. And now we aren't. Small village, shared vehicle access, same playgroup, same library, same gymnastics. As I said, we were good friends.

Please can you tell me if one or both of us is BU? And which one? And what can I do? I DO NOT want to be the kind of person who can't even muster up basic civility but equally I don't want to continually be humiliated by this woman.

What?
Good Lord.

Really don't know what to say to this. Not sure whether you were unreasonable to start with or if you've had the equivalent of an emotional gun held to your head.

Truthfully, this woman sounds like a control freak, given that none of US know who she is. I think if she 'chooses' not to resume your friendship you should count your blessings. But at least she finally talked to you...

Good luck to you both

Hope you are okay OP. You've just lived through one of my nightmares, being recognised in such a way.

Whatever she decides though (and since she is reading this) she still doesn't have the right to make you feel bad forever and it won't kill her to at least exchange hello's since you live in such a small community, even if she is unhappy about the things you have said in person and on here and decides that she doesn't want to continue the friendship.

And name change try to put it behind you now.

And tbh I'm really not sure why you want to be her friend :(

OP I think you need to find some integrity

Your message reads like someone who has had their account hacked.

You have not named her or her child on the internet.
You are allowed to talk about things that have happened to you/upset you.

Who the feck does she thinks she is?

I think she thinks she is Queen of the world MrsdeVere and I am so happy that I don't have any 'friends' like this...

Well you did say you had a habit of putting your foot in it. Did you really not think this might happen? We only ever heard your side and you criticised this woman and her child and then invited comments which were mostly sympathetic to you and invited not so nice comments about her. I don't really blame her TBH.

It sounds as though your friend is being a bit manipulative OP and is pulling the 'poor me' card, making herself the victim again, when as I said before, actually what you said really wasn't that bad.

And as for having a civilised conversation before, well she refused didn't she? If she hadn't have been so childish and ignorant in the whole matter then it could have been resolved a lot quicker and it wouldn't have ended up on here

Hold your head up high OP, you've done nothing wrong

Well she aint the boss of me.
What a load of old toss.

Get a fecking grip 'ex friend' you sound like a waking nightmare.

OP you do realise that you will NEVER be off the hook for this dont you?

Not ever.

^^ What MrsDeVere said!

OP I would still just ignore this friend, lets face it she can't have an even more childish sulk than the one she's already had can she?

^^what MrsDeVere and Hexagonal said.

But still, name change.

I am a bit worried about the op's last post.
Are you ok?
She isnt there with you is she?

OH ffs op stop appologising seriously if she has read this and the last threads she will realise and find some of her own integrity to understand you have meant no malice, your only crime here is handling things a little awkwardly, but seriously if she was any friend she would have developed some insight and would stop this frigging BS to lord herself up.

EX friend if you are reading this get the fuck over your self.

She's not there holding a knife at your throat or something is she?!

Idoubt she is with OP, but she is still reading isnt she, and she has the power to be a complete bitch make the OPs life even more miserable than she has already, the OP is living her worst nightmare, and the friend, well I hope you read this, a few home truths are never nice.

Friend, being basically civil to someone isnt that hard, get a grip, because Im not sure what you think this apology achieves, but putting you in a good light, isnt one of those things, although I fully believe the OP means it - because she has been beating herself up for ages as it is.

Honestly.
What a mean bully.
You should be ashamed of yourself.

That is to the ex friend BTW

Just to be clear.

Leave the OP alone and stop trying to push her around with your manipulative, passive agressive bullshit.

That is the last word I have to say on the matter.

lol, mrsdevere, that backfired on the friend didnt it, and all the more so, because the poor OP meant every word of her hearfelt apology.

You can post on line about whatever you choose. You did not identify her or her children and I fail to see what nasty things you said about her child? Your ex friend is a complete and utter bitch for making you post that apology.

Oooh 'eck. Nightmare scenario. poor old OP.

see, ex-friend? If you'd just been a bit civil initially the whole internet would not now be thinking what a prize bitch you are.

What the fuckedy fuck?

Did she use a programming technique on you? You sound brainwashed OP!

My ex-friend will decide when, how and if we ever resume our friendship. If she chooses not to speak to or engage with me, that is her right and I will respect that.

I keep coming back to this bit, Im [shocked].

Poor OP - here

You apologise all you like, OP.

I still think your 'friend' is a nasty fucker.

Hope she's reading this.

Ou sound as bad as each other. Glad I don't live round your neck of the woods.

Oh dear.

Well, as others have said, you can write what you like on here. You have been painfully reserved with your wording, and I really don't think you have anything to apologise for, other than the initial remark. You have been very clear all along that you were in the wrong to start with, and simply wanted to make amends. Have a good think what you want out of this relationship, because, although it may seem easier to dance to her tune right now, it might not be in the long run.

Good luck, I hope we see you around under a different name really soon. :)