AIBU to have chucked my son and his girlfriend out?

[CreamolaFoamless]

Things came to a head last night and I ended up telling them both to get out of my house.

(They are both 18)

So first thing this morning his dad phoned me to 'tell me' how unreasonable I was and that I was the grownup and should just 'suck it up' . According to him 18 year olds can be tempermental and fiesty

I feel angry, confused and annoyed and also sad because I never thought I'd ever have to say to one of my children 'get out, leave'

Apparently he (DS1) wants to come round and pick up his stuff this afternoon.

I've suggested it might be better if he stays away from the house for today and tomorrow then he can come round on Sunday afternoon (without his girlfriend) and if he wants to move out he can collect his belongings.

He physically pushed me over because I went into the livingroom (about midnight) when he was playing his xbox on some sort of important battle and I wasn't allowed in

He then dragged me out of livingroom

I blew my top with him

Look, I wish some of you would stop wilfully misreading what I am saying.

I never once said Creamola's son was right in any way to get physical with her.

And please don't make me an apologist for perpetrators of domestic violence or insinuate that I am saying that dv victims need to take responsibility for their abuse ledkr.

Maryz I have repeatedly saying that I do not know the full story here [and neither does any of you unless you know Creamola in RL]. I am merely presenting an alternative viewpoint.

This is AIBU?

I am suggesting that OP might be unreasonable as well, not just her son.

I am not stating that the physical violence is okay.

Sheesh

So, the Op should have not gone into her own living room because her ds was playing a game?

It seems like this situation of intimidation on the boy's part had been going on for a long time. Why should op not feel safe and secure in her own home? Why should she have to put up with her son's gf?

He is 18, an adult and it sounds like it is about time he took responsibility for his actions and himself.

U obviously know the answer to your own post. How sad that your son seems to have taken after his dad.

If u have no respect for yourself then others won't either, u have obviously spoilt your son up to this point, if u stick to your guns and treat him a sharp lesson maybe just maybe you can change the future.

And btw put his and her stuff outside your door and don't let them dictate otherwise.

Op you did the right thing, you may well have done him a favour as he will have to sort himeself out.

You are not obligide to keep putting up with shit behaviour once your d offspring reach 18 and it is actually going to harm him if you do keep putting up with this behaviour

But this is dv,he is 18 and it happened at home. Most sons dont hit and drag their mums about just because they are asked to get off x box,i see no difference,i have 3 grown up boys and they knew right from wrong at 18.

Well all the shit has hit the fan

The girlfriend collasped in tears and was sobbing actually sobbing on their bedroom floor

He is now down at his dads and shes gone to her mums

Well Maryz, where do you get the it's not Creamola's fault opinion?

From Creamola herself I guess.

And I suspect that Creamola would present it rather that way. Might even believe it too.

At the risk of boring everyone, I will again say that I don't know enough about this family and their dynamics to make an informed definitive opinion.

I am only presenting a possible alternative hypothesis.

And sorry Maryz but you don't really understand the situation either. None of us can. Even if we feel we have experienced something similar in our own lives.

I was hoping this was you and you had finally put your foot down! Sorry to hear he actually got physical with you though! You were right to call the police.

Please do stick to your guns and leave him in his dad's oh so capable hands and enjoy having your house back. This situation has gone on way too long. Am also relieved to hear they are not staying together accomadtion wise. The relationship between them was too intense, too fast and it may be healthy for them to have a bit of time apart for a while.

If this were my 18 year old son he would not be welcome in my home again before a heartfelt apology was heard, and even then he would be coming round as a visitor not moving back in.

Hey Actions, let me introduce you to Consequences! At LAST, the first of many meetings to come.

If you stick to your guns, CF.

A possible alternative hypothesis that is based on knowing nothing.

Leave the poor op alone fgs. She's here for a bit of support at what, I would imagine, is a very difficult time.

Might that be because she hasn't the time to read the whole thread through and is a bit distraught?

Keep them out! And 4 good. The gf's mother can have them or ur ex, or any of the interferring family members can have them.
Leave them 2 it.
Hope ur ok? It is ur home, and he is old enough 2 vote etc, so old enough 2 move out with his gf. It may be the making of him, by getting on his own 2 feet, rather than ponsing off u!

If he is at his dad's and she is at her mum's , surely the shit hasn't hit the fan at all? Seems to me that that's the best possible outcome here.

You might have to repeatedly spell out to everyone else exactly what your son - a fully grown, adult MAN - did to you. And you have been kind to him - you haven't pressed charges for assault.

manicbmc if she purely wants support she shouldn't post on AIBU.

I still say she is possibly being unreasonable to some extent.

I haven't even read more than the thread title but I was hoping this was you!

Be right back.

oh jezzey peeps RaRaPaPumPumBootyMum

I don't think I'll be sending you a Christmas card

Sorry it came to this, but I'm not surprised.

Call the police. He's abused you, he will abuse others.

Unreasonable to provide a home for him and his gf and probably be the one doing all the housework and everything?

And she can post it where she likes.

I have hypothesized that RaPaPaPumPumBootyMum has tertiary syphilis, and that is why her brain doesn't work. My evidence is that her arguments on this thread are illogical, founded in nothing more than complete supposition, and that it is possible that she might have been a right old hooer when younger (and POSSIBLY still is), and that's where she caught loads of STDs.

Possibly, of course, I'm just suggesting. Not saying it's definitely true but you have to look at what she HASN'T posted and consider that, eh? Eh?