My DH's "loose a lover, gain a mother" comments are really getting to me.

[messagetoyourudy]

My DH and I have been together for 22 years, and we have 2 DS age 5 and 7 - so in the grand scale of things we have been together far longer without children than with children.
I can perfectly accept that life and relationships have their ups and downs, especially when you add children into the mix. But for DH if we don't have sex at least once a week (he'd like sex a lot more than that) he starts making the above quip..... and get's all gropey and feely which I in turn find even more of a turn off.

I just don't get why he feels the need to make the comment at all. It upsets me that as an adult he can't deal with the fact that sometimes the children's needs or my own needs of a little bit of personal space come first. It's like he is a child clambering for my attention too.

Lately, I have spent a month working pretty much full time in a very stressful job environment, DH has got a bad back which has meant I have been sleeping in the kids room as DH is snoring so much sleeping on his back. Funnily enough I haven't really felt 'in the mood for love'.......My DH has now been making comments like "well you wanted the kids, I didn't". It's making me pull away from him even more. I have tried to talk to him about it but he say's he's just joking.

It's making me really angry. AIBU?

. Is it back?

Argh, no I wasn't being serious. That didn't come across well in text.

Oh no, ignore me.

I find I positively welcome groping (to a point ) and sex more than once a week with a man I can respect and who respects me. I don't want to have sex or be groped by a man who manipulates, whines and treats me with no respect at all. Or one that says hateful things about my children.

Good luck LeQueen! :o

What are you going to do? Poke his ears with cocktail sticks whilst you're having sex?

Paint it yerself!

Lose a man gain some self respect and peace and quiet

I do think one of the key things here is: has this man been behaving like this ever since the first child was born and the OP's finally got sick of him waving his cock at her? Or has something changed recently: significant birthday, health scare, bereavement, new job, bad row?
Because it's very common for this sort of libido mismatch to occur when the man is not interested in pulling his weight domestically and the woman has only really started noticing it once DC have arrived: it's difficult to feel sexual desire for someone who is treating you like a servant and/or expecting life to carry on the way it did before DC and their care, feeding etc to happen by magic or by done by the woman without her stopping the amount of attention she previously gave the man.

Alert the presses - someone's stolen LQ's name. She would never say off-white.
It'd be Chewed String or Muted Porcelain.

It reads like an 'end of my tether' post SGB and the focus seems to be on the last month but you're right - it would be helpful to know how long this has been going on.

Said something offensive to you, LeQ ?

don't flatter yerself

I think HQ deleted the wrong post < tee hee >

my deleted post might have been a bit oversharey

it's the one where I detailed how I like DH to grope me with long handled serving spoons around the dinner table at the Inlaws, and it turns me on so much I give him a blow job while his mother reheats the Bisto

I... Eggy!

Bisto? Wtf? That is disgusting.

what ? < whistles >

yes, and you should see what she does with her carrots

she has them quietly simmering from wednesday to sunday

You can't re-heat Bisto. She should make it again fresh.

ewwwww Is she my ex mil?

Ohhh, I adore veg cooked into mush. You need a spoon to eat my broccoli.

Nom.

purple, that is named soup

or babyfood

Crunchy veg is gross. It needs to be cooked with in a inch of it's life until all texture and nutrients are gone.

Strangely the rest of my family cook their own.