To ask FIL and BIL not to bring meat to our BBQ...

[37jonsialex]

Ugh, i have a horrible feeling that i'm being ridiculously petty, but here we go...

We're having a family BBQ/ housewarming tomorrow. 8 of us in total (DP's parents, brothers, sisters and various partners) DP's family are all vegetarian, him and his sisters were brought up that way. By coincidence, i've been vegetarian since i was 9 and DS has been brought up as one too.

A few years ago BIL and FIL went over to the...ehem... dark side and started to eat meat again. I have no problem with this at all, their choice and none of us believe that everyone should be vegetarian.

Anyway, DP mentioned this morning that the B/FIL have insisted on bringing their own meat tomorrow. I was a bit shocked to be honest. I've been working really hard to work out a menu, so they weren't expected to provide anything. I'm always willing to except food based gifts, but i think that if you're taking food to someone's house, it should be something that everyone can eat, right? (for example, we're spending easter sunday with a friend that hates raisins, so i'm taking hot cross buns with other things in instead.)

Apart from that, our BBQ is brand new and we're the ones that will have to cook the meat and then clean off the BBQ and the plates...

Reading this back i can see that i sound like a bit of a nutter... but at the same time i think this is such an odd and disrespectful thing to do!

WIBU to ask them to leave the meat at home?

FWIW I avoid getting into this argument in RL, but on mumsnet find it strangely compulsive for some reason!

Yeah me too! like many things on here...RL = couldnt give a hoot! but on here i'll really chew it over.

chew it over no pun intended!

Amberleaf

I do think a meatless BBQ is a bit shit, I wouldnt call that a belief, id call that an opinion!
Well, the two are closely connected, with an opinion usually based on a belief!

I dont have beliefs about vegetarian food, I like vegetarian food, its all food to me.

But you do believe (or have the opinion) that a totally vegetarian bbq is a bit shit! (which does suggest that you think it's substandard/lacking in some way).

Its people that get on my nerves not the food they eat either way. I have no time for people that want to impose their beliefs/preferences on others be it religion or food!
Leaving aside vegetarians keeping their home vegetarian, are there any examples of people doing that on this thread?

I wonder why though that some vegetarians are more tolerant of meat eaters/eating than others? that I think for me is what I struggle with and where my opinion of the 'holier than thou' attitude comes from, why can some be ok with it and not others? because the ones I know that dont mind are the ones less likely to be preachy about it.
For me, as quite a few posters have said, there's a big difference between what I would do at home vs out and about. My home is meat-free, but I wouldn't expect that anywhere else (well apart from maybe another wholly vegetarian household). As for differences in tolerance - I guess it depends on a few factors, like whether a vegetarian is part of a household that is a mix of vegetarians and meat-eaters (in which case they might be more used to seeing/handling meat) and how long people have been vegetarian (in my experience newer vegetarians can be more 'enthusiastic' about the subject). As a long-standing vegan, I would never preach about my diet (highly counter-productive) - it's one detail about me. I would only mention it if asked about it, or if it was relevant to a situation or conversation.

Beliefs and opinions are not the same thing. They just arent.

Its not that I think vegetarian BBQs are shit, its not the vegetarian food thats the issue, as I said I like all food, the bit that for me that makes it shit is the lack of meat not the veg based food. the issue is whats missing not whats there.