To ask FIL and BIL not to bring meat to our BBQ...

[37jonsialex]

Ugh, i have a horrible feeling that i'm being ridiculously petty, but here we go...

We're having a family BBQ/ housewarming tomorrow. 8 of us in total (DP's parents, brothers, sisters and various partners) DP's family are all vegetarian, him and his sisters were brought up that way. By coincidence, i've been vegetarian since i was 9 and DS has been brought up as one too.

A few years ago BIL and FIL went over to the...ehem... dark side and started to eat meat again. I have no problem with this at all, their choice and none of us believe that everyone should be vegetarian.

Anyway, DP mentioned this morning that the B/FIL have insisted on bringing their own meat tomorrow. I was a bit shocked to be honest. I've been working really hard to work out a menu, so they weren't expected to provide anything. I'm always willing to except food based gifts, but i think that if you're taking food to someone's house, it should be something that everyone can eat, right? (for example, we're spending easter sunday with a friend that hates raisins, so i'm taking hot cross buns with other things in instead.)

Apart from that, our BBQ is brand new and we're the ones that will have to cook the meat and then clean off the BBQ and the plates...

Reading this back i can see that i sound like a bit of a nutter... but at the same time i think this is such an odd and disrespectful thing to do!

WIBU to ask them to leave the meat at home?

YABU

BBQ means meat to me, i can go without meat but if I was invited to a BBQ I would be alittle disappointed that there was no burgers and chicken lol

YANBU. Your house, your rules.

I would never take pork to a Muslim or Jewish household, onions to a Jain household or meat to a vegetarian household. I would take my shoes off in a Japanese house too -to do otherwise is inexcusably rude and is treating your host's moral beliefs and cultural practices with contempt.

And there's no question of 'moral superiority' - everyone has the right to beliefs and cultural practices, religious-based or not, and to have those beliefs respected by others. I may not agree with them - in fact I may actively disagree with them - but when in someone else's home, I do as they do.

Oh, and OP, your menu sounds fabulous btw.

Therefore if I was hosting a dinner party and someone was veggie I would do the meat eaters a meat dish and a veggie alternative for the veggie person. If they are grossed out by the meat eaters eating meat they don't have to come

To those saying a bbq means meat to them - that's true for most people, but not for the OP, the others invited to the bbq or indeed the two who want to bring meat. They are all well aware of the veggie-ness of this family. There is a vegetarian "critical masss" here and therefore the whole bqq is vegetarian - a rare and pleasant experience for veggies who are usually sidelined at such events!

I am fascinated that some people can actually function in this world - truly I am.

Disposable BBQ is the way to go

spicy sweet potatoes... hungarian "langoshi" bread

Hopeforthebest, any possibility of getting recipes for these two dishes, please? Thanks!

I'm sorry - I haven't read the whole thread - but has anyone said that since the BIL and FIL used to be vegetarians, they have obviously eaten plenty of vegetarian food in their time, so shouldn't have a problem with a meat-free meal on this one occasion.

Hope, thanks. The recipe sounds absolutely delicious! Can't wait till the next time we bbq

Hope, both recipes seem very yum. Do you think it would be possible to brush the bread with butter and cook on the bbq? I have been looking for some really good bread to cook on the bbq.

The fresh rubbed garlic and seasalt on top sound divine!

The sweet potato and bread recipes above sound amazing ? thanks, Hope!

iscream, I couldn't agree more with: 'To go to a vegetarian's home and bring meat is disrespectful. OP is being very accommodating in agreeing.
People need to get over their stomachs and themselves. Very childish and rude to insist on having something not offered when they are a guest.'

It's not just about vegetarians v meat-eaters, and it certainly isn't about what you as a guest would 'prefer' or 'expect' to be served. What it comes down to is: if you know that your hosts find a particular food or drink upsetting/physically revolting/offensive, don't take it to their house.

Hope, I've been looking for a langos recipe for a while now! Thank you thank you!

Hope, you are a star! Thank you!

OP sorry for the thread creep, but hope your family BBQ went well. Please update. And for the next time, two more bbq recipes for us vegetarians, thanks to Hope

If I had seen this 17 pages ago I would have totally responded "only if you don't mind not bringing any tea to your tea party" :)

Disposable BBQ for the meat.

I often go to BBQs and can be the only one not having meat. I do take non meat equivalents if I know there isn't likely to be any and cook them on a disposable one.

We have two BBQs at home - a big one for the meat, and a smaller one for non meat.

37jonsialex yes do update. I am desperate to kow whether they brought meat and what you did, and whether it was fun.

Hope I can't believe I've got a recipe for both langos and naan from one thread! Thank you again!

YANBU! Your party, your menu! If they don't like it they can stay at home together and cook all the meat they want

I'm veggie. My DH is veggie.

Some of our friends and family are veggie. Some aren't.

When hosting a BBQ I run two BBQs one meat and one veggie.

Everyone usually brings a contribution some meat some veggie stuff.

What was the issue here again.....????

I'm veggie, as are my family, & usually provide several poundshop disposable BBQs when we have a BBQ so that anyone bringing meat or fish has somewhere to cook it.

This is because I am not, personally, much bothered by the smell or the fact that it's being cooked on my premises. I choose not to eat meat for several reasons: everyone else (family or guests) is welcome to make their own choice. I'll happily wash up cooking pans or crockery/cutlery that've had meat on them, but I'd rather not have meat juices on my own food.

HOWEVER: if a Muslim friend invites me round to dinner, I don't expect wine to be served & I wouldn't dream of taking my own. If my born-again step-MIL invites us to tea, I don't wear a blasphemous (but quite funny) Cradle of Filth t-shirt. If my strictly vegan SIL invites us round I put up with black coffee.

It's just good manners, surely. If you know that your host would greatly prefer you not to bring under their roof, you don't - or if it's so difficult for you to go without meat/booze/rude t-shirts etc, you decline the invitation.

& nowt weird about a veggie BBQ by the way! Yum...just wish we'd had the weather for one this weekend.

Judging by no OP return I'm laying bets there was a family hoo-ha and meat was allowed after DH put foot down.

Any takers? :o