To ask FIL and BIL not to bring meat to our BBQ...

[37jonsialex]

Ugh, i have a horrible feeling that i'm being ridiculously petty, but here we go...

We're having a family BBQ/ housewarming tomorrow. 8 of us in total (DP's parents, brothers, sisters and various partners) DP's family are all vegetarian, him and his sisters were brought up that way. By coincidence, i've been vegetarian since i was 9 and DS has been brought up as one too.

A few years ago BIL and FIL went over to the...ehem... dark side and started to eat meat again. I have no problem with this at all, their choice and none of us believe that everyone should be vegetarian.

Anyway, DP mentioned this morning that the B/FIL have insisted on bringing their own meat tomorrow. I was a bit shocked to be honest. I've been working really hard to work out a menu, so they weren't expected to provide anything. I'm always willing to except food based gifts, but i think that if you're taking food to someone's house, it should be something that everyone can eat, right? (for example, we're spending easter sunday with a friend that hates raisins, so i'm taking hot cross buns with other things in instead.)

Apart from that, our BBQ is brand new and we're the ones that will have to cook the meat and then clean off the BBQ and the plates...

Reading this back i can see that i sound like a bit of a nutter... but at the same time i think this is such an odd and disrespectful thing to do!

WIBU to ask them to leave the meat at home?

No one has answered my question.

Vegetarian BBQ recipes

I'm quite hungry now! (Halloumi cheese, yummmm )

What do you BBQ if it isn't pretend meat or something like corn on the cob?

All sorts of vegetables (corgettes, peppers, red onions, mushrooms, etc. etc.) and cheeses like feta and haloumi.
We also served many types of salads and hummus.

You could make up stuffed pitas or you could just pile everything onto your plate and enjoy. It was really good.

Thanks-it was a serious question. That sounds delicious-I just wouldn't want to go and have meat free burgers.(maybe they are frightened of getting veggie burgers and sausages)

I do lots of vegetarian meals anyway-I may be coloured by not liking BBQs much whatever is cooked.

I was reading those yesterday threeleftfeet. They look much more appetizing than a dry burger or a burnt sausage.

I love meat, but the lengths people have gone in this thread to defend a pork chop is laughable. It's simple manners, When someone invites you to eat at their home you eat what your given and say thank you (dietary requirements not included obviously). Enjoying steak is not a dietary requirement.

Wow you are so NBU

INaBeautifulPlace. Which wild cows pigs and sheep would you be talking about? And when we all go veggie, what's going to happen to the farm animals? What will we do with those? Are farmers going to keep them all as pets? Or will we just slaughter them all?

Well, it was supposed to be today, I wonder what happened?

Have a Google catpus, plenty of wild species from the same genus as farm animals still exist in the wild, boar, buffalo etc.

It's a pretty unlikely event, but should the entire world eventually become veggie, that process is likely to take a long time. Decades, centuries even. Longer than the lifespan of farm animals, at any rate. As farming livestock became economically unviable, people would stop restocking.

Never seen a wild buffalo in East Anglia myself!

For anyone wanting inspiration, there's a book called The vegetarian barbecue, there's dessert recipes in there too.

I went out on the lash in Norwich once. Whole herds of them Catpuss. I was afraid of a stampede on more than one occasion

Sure you were only drinking inabeautifulplace? Sounds like some hallucinogenic substances might have been involved as well... [bugrin]

As a meat eater myself, I still think it extremely rude for them to bring meat to a Veggie BBQ. I would contact them, and say, "I heard you thought of bringing meat...could you please not, as this is just a Veggie BBQ"....

It's your BBQ... It's your meal. Bottom line!

Stand up for yourself, as if you don't, they will do it over and over again..

I'm not a vegetarian (but I intend to give it a whirl when the DCs all grow up and move out) and I like BBQ but I think they're being a bit rude.

However....
A lot of people associate BBQs with bringing your own specially marinaded chicken or burgers with top secret flavouring, etc., and I can see how they might have got the wrong end of the stick. To some people, BBQ means 'potluck where you bring your own dish to cook'.

And otoh again, there is a lot to be said for taking your responsibilities as hostess seriously and doing your best to make all of your guests feel welcome and comfortable, etc.

I do know some picky eaters who would go hungry for hours rather than eat halloumi, peppers, mushrooms etc and would be very disgusted at the idea.

I don't think it is unreasonable at all to expect that a meat-free house stay meat-free.

I really think it is the meal you are planning that is the problem. I love lots of different veggie foods including the ones you are talking about, but I also love BBQs and being able to indulge in eating more meat than we would normally eat, actually more protein in general. It is not that I can't have a meal without meat, not at all, it is just that if I go to a salad buffet restaurant I don't expect to have steak and chips, I'd be expecting lots of lovely salads and make your own salads with toppings and dressings etc. I would be bummed if I came to a bbq and there was no meat I think, kind of like if I went to a salad restaurant and it was all fish and chips and no lettuce or pea pods or baby spinach.

Now a picnic... totally different kettle of, ur, tofu.

Yes Hop - exactly. If you adamant that you want no meat in or around the house then a barbecue is probably not the best option as it does give out certain expectations.

My son's girl friend doesn't eat meat. When she makes a meal, we expect there will be no meat. She does not "inflict" her views on people, but once when I said something was gross, to do with cannibalism, and I was expressing feeling revolted, she told me that is exactly the feeling she gets seeing people eat meat, the smell of it.

Would all of you who suggest OP buys a separate grill want to smell human flesh cooking, watch people eating it, then have to to scrap off the remains of cooked human flesh? That could be how OP feels.

To go to a vegetarian's home and bring meat is disrespectful. OP is being very accommodating in agreeing.

People need to get over their stomachs and themselves. Very childish and rude to insist on having something not offered when they are a guest. If they can't survive one day without eating meat, then they should decline the invitation.

I agree that they should manage perfectly well without meat, but vegetarians do actually insist on having something not offered if they go somewhere without meat and I wouldn't call them childish or rude. It always seems a bit one way.

Sorry -should have read 'somewhere with meat'.

InaBeautifulPlace,
I still stand by what I believe, if dogs were banned, would it be ok th gradually phase them out? No more cats? 'that's ok, we still have lions'?

Surely they've had this barbecue now. Good job it was yesterday; it's very wet here.

Some really ridiculous things being said on here!

I think for most people BBQ = meat.

I have had BBQs and had vegetarian guests to them, they obviously gave the meat a miss and ate lots of the yummy salads/pasta dishes I made, I also did some nice vegetable kebabs which everyone ate, have to say though they take ages to cook much longer than meat!

I wouldnt expect to be served BBQ at a vegetarians house because to me meatless BBQ is a bit shit really.

The holier than thou vegetarians piss me off too