To be unsurprised that so many women get post natal depression?

[toptramp]

My late mum had post natal depression after a horrendous birth during which she almost died. Couple that with the shock of becoming a new mum and the general lack of staus that society offers mums (especially single mums like me) and I am not surprised that so many of us get so down. It is a wonderful time but it also so tough. What can be done about it?
My birth wasn't great (I had a c-section)and I did it without a dp yet I didn't get pnd like my mum did. I did get the shock of my life mixed with a lot of love!

I'm glad your getting help lazymonkey. You are certainly not weak and you'll get through this too.

One hour at a time.

I think it's not surprising that so many women get PND. We didn't evolve looking after babies at home on our own. We evolved in tribes, surrounded by family members who would help us out and keep us company. No wonder people feel isolated.

Anyone on here who has suffered ANY form of depression will know how debilitating it is. I don't want to hijack the thread but I know how it feels to be literally on the edge of sanity. It's easy to knock people down - I hope those who have never have to be in the situation themselves. Shame on the 'haters' for having so little humanity.

I wouldn't normally do this but great big ((())) to everyone who is suffering from PND.

None of you are 'weak'. That's nasty, pernicious nonsense. Its been said before but it bears saying again.

Please keep going, do whatever it takes and take all the help you can. It may not feel like it but you will get better.

Good luck.

yes i echo the hugs and the words to get help and be kind to yourselves, you WILL all get better, i speak as someone who 4 yrs ago was hospitalised with pnd and in a very dark horrible place, now 4yrs later and not only am i well but i have gone on to have another beautiful baby, my ds4 (with whom i suffered from pnd after) is now a fabulous 4yr old who is just adorable and life is good, a whole world away and in no way could i ever have imagined i could get this well again, but i have and so can anyone suffering.

lots of love to all suffering and hang on in there xxx

May I recommend the following website to all ladies going through PND?

www.postnataldepression.com

Liz's courses are excellent - I wish they were available everywhere.

As for the cowardly, ignorant post near the start of the thread, much better to ignore it. I find that's the best way to treat people who deliberately cause offence and distress.

Also most people with pnd 'get on with it' anyway because they have to.

fucking hell! trois on another thread this week you wrote one of the best posts i have ever seen on this site, but the post i've just seen on the first page of this thread??

i had PND, i refused help from people, i refused anti depressants, i felt i should "be strong and get on with it" and i did... what i now realise is that it was very foolish and very silly of me think like that, nothing strong about it. luckily, my PND started to lift after 6 weeks and i remember the day it completely went (my DD had just turned 5months old) i don't like to tell anyone about my PND because i feel alot of people don't understand, i personally don't know anyone else that has been through it, but it was AWFUL. i was so down, i felt that i was a shit mum and i certainly didn't bond like i thought i would with my DD, i couldn't eat for the first couple of months after the birth, i survived on coffee and biscuits, i was anxious and felt sick all the time, i would just burst out crying whenever any of my family would phone me, i felt it should have been the happiest time of my life and if i'm being honest it was one of the worst. to all those suffering - PLEASE GET HELP, don't just hope it'll go away (although thank god it did just go away for me) eventually you will be happy again and life will be great and you'll have the most amazing bond with your beautiful child, it's only a blip, you'll get through it, and you'll get through it quicker if you get help. xx

Jingle what a brilliant post. you just described almost exactly how I felt in those early months.

Depression isn't weakness, it's often a sign that you have been too strong for a long time.

I'm pleasantly surprised when mums (new or experienced) are not at least depressed. I think mild depression is quite normal!

Fuck me. Seriously. Weak? Words fail me.

My first ever pregnancy and birth was at 14, the baby was premature and died soon after birth. The baby was a result of incest. The court case following to convict the "father" of his horrendous abuse of me was harrowing. But I was STRONG and coped. I got on with it, had therapy and moved on.

I got pregnant with my dd and it all broke. I couldn't cope. I suffered post partum psychosis. I was not weak, I cracked under the sheer volume of conflicting emotions.

My dd is 3 and I am recovered. She is the most precious thing to me, and I am a good mother to her. Not perfect, but no-one is.

So don't tell me I'm fucking weak. Pnd is not weakness. Go and live in your bubble and be strong. But one day you'll maybe crack. And I hope you receive a hand up, not a kick down. Not like you've done on here.

Stripy - i'm so sorry. Noone needs to be a perfect mom, they don't exist, just a good enough mom is all thats needed!

Jingle - that is how I felt after DS1, to a lesser dgree, I think, but still, the anxiety, wanting to escape. I loved him but felt overwhelmed by the feelings of having no idea what I was doing. Couldn't breastfeed, has a CS, felt a "failure". Was probably very anaemic now I look back Found the sleep disruption absolutely awful to cope with.

I don't think I recognised how bad I was until after I had DS2, and saw the difference between how I felt then and how I'd felt before.

Still, had another episode when DS2 was about 4 months old, and had counselling

You know I secretly did think that women who had PND were some how just not as good as coping as me. That is because I had been through a lot of tough times and come through them with relative ease.

However, post DD2 my attitude changed. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was full blown PND but I did find it very hard to cope with the baby and the toddler. I felt like I was in a fog. This lifted and I am fine now but my attitude has totally changed, the power of those hormones cannot be emphasised enough.

I always thought that it was depressive people who got PND but now realise how wrong I was.

I do sometimes feel bad, looking at my gorgeous DD2 and knowing that in her first months she got nowhere near the best of me compared to DD1.

LeQueen I just read your post as to your friends explanation as to why you suffered PND. That is really interesting and could explain why I felt that way also.

I also bfed DD2 (found feeding DD1 too difficult to manage) and for me that really didnt help, although I know its meant to. I really resented the relentlessness of it!