To HATE pop in visitors?

[Eggrules]

Family friend of in-laws has just left.

Egg Towers is in the middle of Operation Spring Clean. OH cleaning the car on the drive with DS. I was in the kitchen and had emptied the cupboards out. Been on the go since early morning but the house was a complete tip . Offered drinks, chatted and then left OH to it.

HINT: if nobody answered the phone then they are busy/out.

I always pre-arrange visits with parents, best friends etc. I enjoy having people over but my nearest and dearest know I hate pop in visitors. I think it is very rude to gatecrash and invite yourself over and expect a red carpet.

What am I missing?

Oh I HATE pop in visitors! Didn't used to, the occasional one never bothered me. Since we've moved though we have a set of neighbours who come to our door every other day or so! It really is driving me insane. They know we're home if the car is outside and last time we just didn't answer the door (they rang the bell 4 times!!) They got really shirty with me. I truly dislike them now. The husband also comes over sometimes with all their bags and stuff ready to go out and asks to borrow the car "as you're not using it if you're home". A tighter, ruder man I've never met. Dispite my clear dislike they don't seem to get the message and keep doing it. Shame really as I think if we were just acquaintances it would have been ok. Meh. Pop ins are shite

I always get stressed because my home is always a toy/beaker pit.

I love pop ins but very rarely get them. I don't care what the house is like-I just love people to come but even DD always phones first.

at curtainrail's story. People turning up out of the blue expecting to be fed AND moaning if there is no wine! How can people behave like that?

Luna do you let him borrow the car? How bloody rude!

Good Grief Curtainrail stop letting them in! They sound horrible!

I am so printing this thread out to show to Mother Cunting. She is a habitual pop-in woman and it drives me berserk. Not so much when she drops in here as I have had a lifetime to get used to it, but berserk for other people. For several reasons:

1. If I have been out shopping with mum in the morning, she will go "Ooh let's pop in on Aunty X or friend Y" and I'll say "Can you ring them first to make sure it's OK?" She does not see why she needs to ring because...

1. Just because she is a habitual pop-in woman, she really doesn't see that her preference for surprise visits might piss other people off. She just sees popping-in as 'what people do'. Actually, people don't just do it. Most normal people text or ring to say "are you in? Is it a good time to descend on you for tea?"

1. She has the hide of a rhino and whereas I can read body language of the recipient of the pop-in, mum cannot. I can tell if someone is saying "No, come in I was only about to epilate my fanjo" through gritted teeth.

1. I have to stand there cringeing as we pop in. I hate it.

1. It is just wank. Just fucking ring. It will take two minutes if that.

And I'm not even anti-social. I LOVE visitors! When they are arranged. I will have tea and cake waiting and will be dressed like a human being instead of an extra from 28 Days Later, stinking of bleach. It's just basic manners. Manners is good.

Failure to check before you visit is bad manners

Curtainrail you either should stop letting them in or do some popping of your own. We have had lean times, guests eating your lunch isn't on. . Cheek of them asking for wine . I would take a bottle with me (and ring first of course). 'No wine; did you bring any?' Feckers.

Tight guests is another thread ...

Whoever said about the assumption that you want to see the pop-inners has shit right in the toilet AFAIAC.

Can't wait to use the phrase shit right in the toilet . 'Are you saying you are too busy for me to come in?'. 'That's right Mother, you have shit right into the toilet there'.

Well. What an unsociable, unfriendly lot you are! We don't live near family and love it if anyone pops round. It makes us feel loved and wanted.

How on earth are you going to cope when your children are in year 6/at high school and their friends come knocking unannounced? It is the "done thing" you know.

I hate it. My house is only tidy for about an hour after i do my weekly big clean. and then sometimes bits get left out Plus I want to choose when to entertain.

Children callers are different. You can chuck them out in the garden and carry on with what you were doing.

DH is Indian and pop-in visitors are a part of his culture. They think it's a bit weird that even close family and friends are expected to call in ours. I don't mind them very much but like other posters, we rarely get them if we are not in India. What irks me more is when said visitors all demand and insist that you come over to their place for a big dinner. Never considering if you have small children or a tight schedule. More than half the time in our visits to India are spent visiting people in their homes, many of whom we had no intention of visiting.

I think children can pop over. DS is 5 so time will tell.

Well I have just experienced it too - DH was going out with his friend and called him to see what time he would be down and he said he had his XW with him (thats a entirely different and weird thread) and that she was just going to stay with me as my guest as didn't have a ticket to go with them - no call to see if I would mind and if DH hadn't have called then they would have just turned up!

WTF??? I had the worlds worst headache but also I was looking forward to a quiet night in - sooooo rude!

I only had pop in visitors after my dd was born, just when i didnt want them...

why oh why? these people dont usually call around or visit us at any time. Why is it ok to turn up, unannounced when you have a 3 day old baby?

I hate this too but its not because of tne house, its because I usually am on a schedule or have planned something to do. I work from home as well and people dont consider that so it can be awkward when Im in the middle of something important or am on a deadline.

I am one of those people who lets groceries go to the bare bones before buying any more so am rarely prepared with things to offer guests. Sometimes we dont even have enough milk for a cup of tea for extras .

And might I add its usually never friends that do this so not such a pleasure. Its usually some random friend of ILs or my dhs.

Oh yes, and since I started working from home, I have discovered DH has a regular string of mates visiting the house in the day. They seem to "expect" me to be available to make them cups of tea etc...they can get stuffed.