To HATE pop in visitors?

[Eggrules]

Family friend of in-laws has just left.

Egg Towers is in the middle of Operation Spring Clean. OH cleaning the car on the drive with DS. I was in the kitchen and had emptied the cupboards out. Been on the go since early morning but the house was a complete tip . Offered drinks, chatted and then left OH to it.

HINT: if nobody answered the phone then they are busy/out.

I always pre-arrange visits with parents, best friends etc. I enjoy having people over but my nearest and dearest know I hate pop in visitors. I think it is very rude to gatecrash and invite yourself over and expect a red carpet.

What am I missing?

I am a Northerner and think it is very bad manners.

I like to prepare for visitors. Pop ins put me on a back foot.

If people call and say 'We're in the area, can we drop by?' that's absolutely fine. But my family haven't realised that, and often choose the exact moment I've taken my bra off, put on my 'cleaning pants' (DH's boxers) and started to clean the bog

MY dh brought a waorkmate back the other week they had been on a course he was late in for dinner he hadnt text which he usualy does to say what time he would be in , I was in the middle of doing tea and folding clothes i also had Pjs on cos i wasnt feeling right and in walks DH and this guy i was and

i think you aer a bit weirdy old fashioned tbh

MrsJ Leave the bastard

fish i felt like stabbing the bastard with my Knife i was using I was so not amused , banging about the kitchen as he tried to make coffee

Thank goodness I was dressed and had make up on. Not my usual cleaning attire (last nights PJs).

Off to google Witness Protection Programme

Mrsjay I'll hold your coat/dressing gown

I am norrthern and Popper inners are so very not welcome.
I work from home also, to add to the intrusion.

I'm a northerner and it makes me a bit stabby, so I doubt it's a north/south thing.

Ring first, always ring first.

I like seeing friends , so pop ins are welcome in my house

I work from home too taxiforme. I like friends but have always hated pop ins.

Does anyone admit to a being a popper inner?

I have never in my entire life had anyone do this. Just as well, as I'd hate it!

I wouldn't dream of turning up at someone's house uninvited either, or indeed of inviting myself over, what a strange thing to do.

I'm a northerner now living in the south, not sure that has much to do with it though...

a lot.
god who are these people if you dont welcome them into your home?
utter weirdos - bet you dont like using the phone or driving on motorways either

I don't mind but not before 10 during the week and in the weekends, we are always out weekends so if someone dropped by then, they would find an empty house. Weekend afternoons, I don't really mind but I don't fuss around visitors much. If I were cleaning the cupboards, I'd carry on cleaning the cupboards but ask the visitors to make a drink and help themselves to a biscuit.

Don't even bother ringing, just assume you are not welcome unless I invite you. I'm a northener too.

Random pop in visitors who care not at all about the state of the place and are happy to be fed anything that's lying around I would like.

Unfortunately all my friends like this live complicated lives and/or a long way away so always arrive by arrangement.

My parents and sister who expect tidiness would be a nightmare if they just turned up.

Fortunately they know this and wouldn't dare

I hate it too! My grandma taught me to answer the door with your coat on, so that you can say "so sorry, I'm just about to go out!" . The only person we make an exception for is BIL who always does it but doesn't care about the mess as long as there is food!!

Ex BF once did this to me in the most annoying way possible - he was a mature student and I was working long hours in a dull job.

One night he went out with a bunch of his friends who had just finished exams, and they decided they didn't want to stop partying when it came to last orders.

I had just gone to bed when BF rang me 'can I bring people back to the flat??' I said very firmly 'please don't', but he said 'but we're having so much fun, if I don't let them come back they'll be so disappointed'. Evidently he had invited everyone back to ours without checking with me first and then rang me as an afterthought to let me know!

When they all piled into the flat he came into the bedroom and said 'why not get dressed and come and say hello to them, don't sulk in your room' - I said 'I'm not sulking, I just want to go to sleep, I have to get up in the morning!'

He seemed genuinely disappointed that I wasn't prepared to put my clothes back on, come into the sitting room and keep drinking until the small hours!
To me it was a completely unforgivable thing to do and anyone who ever tried that trick on me now would get short shrift!

My Dad is a popper-inner.

ALWAYS at DD's bedtime. We've told him it's a crap time to call in and to come earlier or later, but it falls on deaf ears. If he turns up when I'm doing bedtime and DH is out I ignore the door, far easier than leaving DD, getting her upset/wound up, making cups of tea and then calming DD down whilst he sits and watches the One Show downstairs on his own!

I'm a southerner and I love people stopping by. I also stop by my friends. I think people that drop by don't care if the house us a mess or if you ask them to leave after a few minutes -they were just popping in to say hello

If someone popped in then I wouldn't give them anymore than a cup of tea or coffee generally. Doesn't happen often but am pleased to see friends. Family don't do this as too far. Not something I tend to do but am happy to go with the flow and if i I was busy/ had commitments would say so. Am pretty sociable and Northern, that said my mother would not cope at all.

The problem is that people don't say what they mean half the time. Why let them in if it's not convenient ?

The conversation should go...

OP: Oh hello, random visitors. Sorry, I'd invite you in but we're in the middle of something/spring cleaning/shagging our brains out.

OP: Well, best get on. See you soon.

Easy, job done.

Each to their own. It's definitely an english thing to be terribly private about one's home. We live in a centrally-located apartment across the road from a popular playground / beach. I love having people pop-in with their kids. And I mean it! That said, we're in NZ and my mother was a "popper-inner"....

I fold my carrier bags into triangles. In laws friends are not welcome on spec.

MsNorbury Sometimes I answer the phone. If I am working, I screen. I didn't answer the phone today because I didn't hear it (if he rang).