To HATE pop in visitors?

[Eggrules]

Family friend of in-laws has just left.

Egg Towers is in the middle of Operation Spring Clean. OH cleaning the car on the drive with DS. I was in the kitchen and had emptied the cupboards out. Been on the go since early morning but the house was a complete tip . Offered drinks, chatted and then left OH to it.

HINT: if nobody answered the phone then they are busy/out.

I always pre-arrange visits with parents, best friends etc. I enjoy having people over but my nearest and dearest know I hate pop in visitors. I think it is very rude to gatecrash and invite yourself over and expect a red carpet.

What am I missing?

I am a Northerner and would mostly be quite happy with poppers in (as long as they don't expect the house to be pristine!), but, this being London, people mostly ring first to check you are in. Or you do proper inviting people round.

Sorry for the random carrier bag fact. I like to be organised and welcoming and the house was a fecking tip.

I hate having people around full stop without at least a weeks notice to gear myself up for the intrusion. If someone just popped in? I'd be furious and probably very asocial.

I want some cleaning pants like Poultryinmotion.

I hate pop-ins, unfortunately I now live on an estate where the neighbours seem to think this is ok.

So do the anti-poppers-in not like it because
a) it makes them look slovenly
b) they like time at home to be just them and their family
c) they feel a bit thrown if something impulsive happens to them?
d) another reason?

b. I like time at home to be time when I can just relax, run round in my underwear, spend time with DH and DS and if we want to go out, we make plans and go. Having to be on best behaviour at all times just in case someone decides to drop by is annoying.

Ah yes NZ worst offenders when I lived there everyone bloody does it. Shocking.

I love popper inners, and I don't really care what my house is like. I'm also a popper inner, and I don't think I've pissed anyone off yet.

North even

d) I'm a misanthropic, curmudgeon who is asocial and hates most people.

Well (a) today and normally a combination of (b) and (c).

(d) imho it is rude to expect someone to accommodate a visit without advance warning.

My OH's best friend used to do this and it drove me mad. He is very tight and would come over at mealtimes on spec. My OH worked away and we only saw each other 2 days - I didn't want to spend one of those with his weird mate.

To me it's a and b and mostly that I just think it's rude to assume it would be okay to turn up with checking it's ok. We often have people for Sunday lunch etc, if popper-iners should up while having invited guests it would be awful! I just don't see why people can't ring first

LOL, eggrules, my MIL folds her bags into triangles too! She's one of those MILs who has a four-course meal on the go at all times and a pristine house just in case someone drops by. When we go to theirs with DD she follows her around with a cloth wiping up messes

YABU. It's always nice to see friends, and if they "pop in" with no warning they'll just have to take us as they find us :)

random geezer had cat's bum mouth. Oh well

i don't mind visits but i don't stand on ceremony... and sometimes i don't even stop what i'm doing if i'm short on time.. guests who 'drop in' can take us as they find us... and more often than not put the kettle on themseves if they want a cuppa.
i think the issue is treating 'drop ins' like 'guests' - 'guests' get biscuits and drinks made for them and sat down with and 'entertained'.. 'drop ins' might get offered a cup of tea but generally they get a 'come through, i'm just doing the dishes' type welcome.

and how is it 'slovelnly' to be caught mid spring-clean.. with stuff out of cupboards etc.

god if somebody came round and found me spring cleaning i'd be so proud i'd be polishing my halo... [chances of me being caught cleaning are minimal ]

To me it would just seem a bit rude and intrusive, I would never just turn up uninvited at someone's house and expect them to drop whatever they happened to be doing and entertain me instead, and would be a bit surprised if someone did that to me.

I'm not too bothered about the state of the house, we might do a token tidy-up if we're expecting visitors but it's not really an issue.

DPiL & DM are the worst as they either turn up unannounced or worse still phone to say they will be popping round in 30 minutes. We run around like loons tidying up, making the place look nice(ish) and then we sit and sit and sit. A couple of hours later one of us phones them only to find that they have bumped into some random they last met during the last ice age and lost track of time.

The problem is that they have no sense of time. DH & I are both very busy as we work full time, the DCs are busy. DPiL & DM know this but dont seem to get that it limits the time we have to spare.

Exactly everlong!!

lifechanger A true pop in hater would never have invited you over like that. Totally not your fault.

maybenow, I wasn't inferring that the OP is slovenly at all, more that most people do not manage to keep their house in pristine condition at all times and may be embarassed if other people see it.

And sensuallettuce, YES NZ'ers are the worst! DH grew up there......