AIBU for not giving my daughter toast

[misspedantic]

My daughter messed around at teatime, which was late (at around 7.30) because she had a friend over to play. She didn't eat any of the pasta I gave her, even though I told her to eat and is now crying because she is hungry. She has constantly come out of her bedroom for the past hour crying that she is hungry. She does have a problem with food but this pasta is her favourite. I'm fed up with her wasting food and then making toast for her...

AIBU for refusing to feed her toast?

Sorry but I think YABU, I couldn't go to bed hungry, could you?

how old

Give her toast. Not worth the battle.

In the spirit of picking your battles. Give her the toast.

She's 7yrs old and this has been an ongoing battle. I can't afford to keep on throwing food away and then making toast for her and I'm sure it's not good for her. I feel really bad sending her to bed hungry.

How old is she?

x post

No yanbu.

let her go to bed hungry, she won't do it again in a hurry. you give her toast she will do it again and again!

Next time keep the food she doesn't eat, she can have it later if she gets hungry. Sorry that's not much help right now though; if she's genuinely hungry I think I'd let her have the toast.

Dd2 does things like this, always ends up getting fed because DH is too soft hearted.

Personally just once I'd like to let her whinge herself to sleep.
Then next time I say I'm not cooking you something different to everyone else or letting you have pudding she might actually believe me.

I'm split on this issue. On one hand, no child is going to starve for missing one meal, but I'm seriously against using food as a punishment or a weapon, and I think you're on shaky ground in this situation.

Its not a punishment if its only the once.

What about if she had lobbed her dinner over the floor and then said she was still hungry? Would you make her toast then?

Same thing going on here, and I'm pretty torn about it too. But I have done sent dd (nearly 7) to bed after not eating her dinner, and not much has changed so I can't guarantee its efficacy.

She is 7, you fed her later than usual, she also had a friend over... so not too much of a disruption to her rountine then?

YABVU and you are using food as a weapon.

Give the kid a snack and manage the situation better next time if you know she's going to act up.

Could you not give her pasta and stuff and just give her toast instead? Not nutritionally great I know, but I lurve toast, and then you wouldn't have to throw stuff away. And it would be much cheaper yes I know I am a slut mother from hell

lol panic over... I'm sat here, tears in my eyes, thinking I'm so mean. Went to check on her and to ask if she was still hungry and she's sleeping.

Why is this parenting thing so bloody hard!!! Meh.

too hungry to sleep- I offer DS the most Boring food possible in this situation, I use oat cakes .If he is really hungry he will eat one.

In your situation I'm not sure I'd go for toast, dry bread maybe, something that is minimal effery to prepare but will be eaten IF she is hungry.

Why didn't you just keep the pasta if she does this regularly?

Give her something she likes less than toast & a glass of water then tell her to go to sleep, or at the very least stay in her room!

Would you let her come down to make her own toast? At least it will show if she's really hungry, although it already sounds as if she is.

Yes she went to bed tired and as it transpires hungry, and she won't forget that you didn't feed her when she asked for food in a hurry.

It is poor parenting to use food as a weapon!

Best make sure you don't have that late night nibble tonight if you fancy it eh?

My DC were given a meal if it wasn't eaten no fuss was made but nothing until next meal. We never had puddings either at all. (still don't eat puds now they are grown up. Give her the toast this time but explain it won't be happening again. Next time food is left remind her that there won't be any alternative if it is left. Do it calmly and as matter of factly.

YY to something incredibly boring and bland if you do want to give her something and not to harsh like me

If she really is hungry then she will eat it. Giving her something like toast which she likes alot is kind of a reward iyswim

Well, In the past if ds wont eat his tea and I give him weetabix for supper, he then has been fussy the next day at teatime and later demanded weetabix again, so I knocked it on the head by no longer buying the weetabix and basically saying, this is your tea-eat it or go to bed hungry.
He got the message.
Agree with saving the pasta for her for later, but i would not be substituting real food for snack food.
Also, in this house, money is very tight, so I really resent wasting food.
Having said that, it depends how frequent an occurence this is. If its a one off, let her have the toast. If it happens again, go zero tolerance on her ass!

I don't understand how I'm using food as a weapon.

I think it is mean and I wouldn't do it. My son has done this once and I did give him more food later when I was sitting down to eat. He didn't do it again, it didn't suddenly become a habit. I believe on this occasion he just didn't fancy that much. Somtimes I feel like that. I would never give my child food that he hadn't eaten earlier, this happened to me when I was a kid and the thought of it makes me feel really sick.

And it's not using food as a weapon FGS! Its saying-this is what we are having, eat it or don't but don't expect substitutes.