to tell an elderly gent to f*ck off

[Helenfellows33]

i was on a family day out on a steam train and on the way home an infirm old man got on with his carer. she left shortly after and he was on his own in his wheelchair with me and my dh and dc's. this journey was about an hour long and ds being cranky started to cry. and the old man turned to him and shouted at him to be quiet boy. at this i told him to shut the fuck up and a list of words i cant mention here. dh backed me up although i was telling a friend later she said he was ok too this as he was old, we are now not speaking cause of this. AIBU for doing that to an elderly person.

You sound delightful.

Numerous occasions? Odd, I've never been in a situation where it's been necessary to shout and swear at others in the name of "standing up for my family".

Perhaps that might be because I set a good example to my children in the first place.

You were being very unreasonable and rude.

You probably made the old man feel very uncomfortable and ruined his steam train journey plus you swore like a fishwife in front of your little boy.

get a grip, love.

DH did not say a thing. but did support what i did. if a stranger shouted at your dc. would you sit there and do nothing?

YABU.

MardyArse, you said it so much better.

Yet its acceptable for you to release a torrent of abuse at an elderly man?

You're obviously unaware that there are several medical conditions that can make an elderly person seem rude or short tempered; diabetes and dementia, for example.

Instead of flying into a rage because someone dared disrespect your family, maybe you should look at the example you're setting your child.

if a stranger shouted at your dc. would you sit there and do nothing?

'please don't shout at my son, it's not helping' would have been a better starting point than STFU.

What did your other DC/DC's do whilst this was going on?

A stranger has never shouted at my dc. Probably because my dc know how to behave and sit quietly

DH did not say a thing. but did support what i did. if a stranger shouted at your dc. would you sit there and do nothing?

You don't have to choose between doping nothing, and being verbally abusive!

*doing, doing!

No I wouldn't do nothing but I would respond appropriately and not like some common tramp. Completely unnecessary.

You asked if you were unreasonable I think the consensus here is yes so maybe you should stop trying to justify it???

You showed yourself up as someone with disgraceful behaviour, no manners or intelligence to meet a situation like that with dignity, coming out looking like the bigger person.

I also wonder what your son was doing on that train with parents like you as an example, to cause someone to reproach him.

YABU. If a stranger spoke badly to my child, of course I wouldn't sit there and do nothing. But there are a whole load of options that fall in between doing nothing and telling him to shut the fuck up along with a lot of other expletives.

You were rude and you set a disgusting example to your children. I would be willing to bet that you would have had sympathy from most people for having to putup with someon being rude to your child, but you lose that completely when you do something worse.

If the old man was shouting at your family for no reason the correct thing to do would have been to move carriages, or speak with his carer, not launch a tirade of abuse.

If your son was genuinely distressed and causing a fuss, again you should have dealt with him, moving out of the carriage if necessary to avoid disturbing ALL the other passengers.

However being discreet, doing the right thing and behaving like a person seems not to be YOUR thing.

A list of words you can't mention here , but were unashamed to shout in public to an elderly man? I hope I never have to share a train carriage (or anything else) with you, you sound obnoxious and there is every chance your precious DS will turn out just like you. Shame on you.

YABU... You sound delightful and if you behave like that in front of your children then I am sure your children will grow up to be as delightful as you.

my other dc was asleep. and my dcs are normally well behaved. my DH was trying to calm him down when it happened. and surely if he has mental health issues his carer would not have left him alone. would she?

Mmmm, I think everyone is being a bit harsh. Undoubtedly u could have handled it better but when it comes to your dc its easy to get carried away in your defence of them. So although I don't think u should have shouted in front if your dc's I do understand why u got carried away in that moment.

If a stranger shouted at my children i wouldnt be aggresive and shout and swear at an old man , I dont want my children hearing me say fuck off and Other expletives to anybody , especially an old person in a wheelc
hair , i wouldve said im sorry and ignored him , but TBH not many people shout at children , he was maybe senile or a bt old school and think children should be seen and not heard which isnt right , but i think you need to learn to handle situations better in front of your children or they will be at school in the middle of an argument cursing and swearing ,

Hmm don't think it sounds like he is the one with issues!

If I was within earshot of your outburst, I would have been complaining to the guard about you.

Absolute disgrace, am cringing for your children.

I meant to say u shouldn't have sworn in fron of dc's

You were unreasonable, and I would caution you strongly about wondering about MH issues now. That time passed the minute you engaged your gob.

If there were any other people around I'm sure they'd have judged you, not the elderly chap.

YABU

The poor bloke was stuck in a wheelchair in a carriage with a cranky child...it's not like he could just walk off somewhere else.

There was no need to swear at him at all

It's not like he told you child to shut the fuck up, is it?