to tell an elderly gent to f*ck off

[Helenfellows33]

i was on a family day out on a steam train and on the way home an infirm old man got on with his carer. she left shortly after and he was on his own in his wheelchair with me and my dh and dc's. this journey was about an hour long and ds being cranky started to cry. and the old man turned to him and shouted at him to be quiet boy. at this i told him to shut the fuck up and a list of words i cant mention here. dh backed me up although i was telling a friend later she said he was ok too this as he was old, we are now not speaking cause of this. AIBU for doing that to an elderly person.

This thread, if it's not a wind up, has made me very :(

Imagine if everyone was like the OP. What a miserable world it would be.

NO one talks to me or my family like that.

No - its you and your family that talk to people like that.

You are the ones I would want to move away from.

(I assume this is a wind up)

I am very sweary, even in front of the DCs, but I would never swear at someone, in front of my DCs or not.

So you can put me on your angel list.

Sorry, not what you want to hear but I'm joining the chorus of disaproval.

He was rude, had a sense of entitlement, no empathy and expected the world to be the way he wanted it... Rather like a cranky child screaming because he's overtired and over stimulated... Oh wait!

Okay, I'm not excusing him but old age does tend to come with a raft of problems that can make it hard to bear things with patience and the wheelchair and carer was a bit of a visual clue.

You behaved very badly, far worse than he did, but since you are not in a position to apologise to him I would let that side of it go. I would however sit your children down and explain at their level that Mummy was upset because she didn't like the old man being mean but she shouldn't have been even meaner and used nasty language back because he was probably in pain or ill and as a healthy grownup Mummy should have been more grownup patient.

Oh, and I have been in your position, almost exactly, Ffestiniog, seven years ago but it was a middle aged lady in good health as far as I could tell and she didn't shout, she hissed.

You sound like a complete embarrassment and an awful example to your child. No one likes their dc being told off by a stranger but you do not have to use abusive languuage to get your point across. You need to educate yourself and learn some manners.

Still waiting to hear about The Threat.

Because obviously, 2 thugs and their kid are going to be dead scared of an old man in a wheelchair aren't they?

Helen, the words "abuse" and "threaten" have actual meanings. They don't just mean, "he said something I didn't like, or something that upset me".

To be "threaten" is to either put someone in a state of fear, or to try to make them fear you.

This was a vulnerable man in a wheelchair, apparently dependent on a carer, who was in another carriage at the time. He presumably can't stand up or walk without difficulty.

You were a family, of two fitter adults and children traveling together, and outnumbering him.

I bet he felt very threatened.

YES

Lunatic

im sure that your all angels who dont swear EVER.

I'd definitely swear if you spoke to me like that.

Anyway, you knew you were BU when you posted here, didn't you?

what did the old man say once you told him he was to fuck off for being an old git ?

I've been in that situation too. I imagine most of us have.

The difference being most of us I imagine feel a bit embarassed at causing a disturbance and do our best to calm tantying kid down.

no-one threatened your family OP. you were vile to a disabled elderly man for no reason other than it makes you feel big. try all you like but there is no justification for what you did.

Helen Stop missing the point. You were wrong to swear and rant, you could have been much more reasonable and still gotten your point across.

FFS

I love the way you can't repeat the list here on a forum full of people who are quite happy to say cunt and fuck all the livelong day, but you're happy to scream them into an old man's face in a public place while your son listens!

You sound disgusting.

Intolerant, bullying, foul mouthed and disgusting. I would be more than happy to not be speaking to you if I were your friend. And you behaved like that on a family day out, in a place where there were likely to be other families.

Inexcusable.

I love a unanimous AIBU.

It's like when only one result comes up in google :)

The thing is, it isn't just about your own family. That old man is part of someone else's family.

How would you feel if an old man, you cared about, was sworn at, like that? Please think about it. Your husband will be an old man one day. Your son will be an old man one day.

What a terribly sad thread. Politeness wins friends and influences people. As it was anyone watching thought 'what a horrible family'. What sort of lesson was that for DCs?

I would have spoken to his carer, complained to her(?). She's not caring if she's not in the same carriage.

You shouldn't be spoken to like that, but your reaction was just as bad, great example to the kids eh?

I think its termed an AIBUwhack, catgirl

YABVVVVVVU you are a vile disgusting person.

In no way did he threaten your family. He told your son to be quiet.

I feel sorry for your children I really do.

That's the one Vivi brilliant

Maybe he had dementia.

After a quick search on OP's previous posts, she doesn't think wheelchair users should get priority on buses.
Disablist much?