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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to really not identify with the feminist boards on here, when i always thought I was a feminist

952 replies

DinahMoHum · 11/03/2012 11:03

seems so joyless and anti sex.

I feel very conflicted now. I always thought feminism was about equality for women, which I dont believe we have, but it seems to re\lly be focusing on the wrong issues for me, and getting too much into dynamics of personal relationships, and peoples sexual preferences

im probably being unreasonable

OP posts:
PlumpDogPillionaire · 12/03/2012 15:19
Thanks For you, Shirley

... and you also said you wre probably being unreasonable, Dinah. So that's OK. For you: Brew

handbagCrab · 12/03/2012 15:21

This thread started based on the premise that the fwr boards are joyless and have loads of posters on that don't like sex. 700 and odd posts talk about that. It turns out that this wasn't what you were actually bothered about op but it was something else entirely. If you had started with the premise that 'AIBU, that advice in relationships should stick to discussions about inter personal relationships and avoid discussion of political theory' then I would suppose this thread would be entirely different.

You are well able to change your opinion, clarify your thoughts, whatever. But the majority of the thread has been about what you actually said in your op, not what you meant by it. Which IMHO is something different. And therefore, I believe, most posters on here have wasted their time discussing a situation which never really existed. Whether that discussion is interesting or not, is another point.

DinahMoHum · 12/03/2012 15:24

its not entirely something else, its still about them feminists innit

OP posts:
ShirleyKnot · 12/03/2012 15:28

Lovely!

DinahMoHum · 12/03/2012 15:29

anyway, what do you want me to say. Im not sure how to split the topic and put it into seperate headings. Im truly sorry i was confused about what it was that pisses me off. I still think a lot of posters are a bit joyless and anti sex, and push agendas on unrelated topics, but its not on the fwr board which is absolutely the right place for discussing those topics in such detail rather than peoples threads asking for support

OP posts:
handbagCrab · 12/03/2012 15:30

Which ones? Some of them? All of them? The ones that have stuck up for you based on your op that didn't actually happen? Or the ones that haven't?

SirGinTheUnreasonable · 12/03/2012 15:31

I have been told this isnt happening, and its my imaginination. other people have said they have noticed it too. Must be our group imagination

DinahMoHum. I've been on the recieving end a number of times to a paticular group of people on MN and been accused of all sorts of vile things simply for having a penis different view.

As such I do find it ironic that some of those same people take such umbridge at being treated in the same way that they feel so entitled to treat others.

But it's easy to get wound up about it, life's too short, it's a beautiful day.

PlumpDogPillionaire · 12/03/2012 15:32

This 'joyless and anti-sex' thing makes me laugh. I so love the thought of people sitting around thinking they can know these things about other people, based on posts on an internet forum. Grin

ShirleyKnot · 12/03/2012 15:36

It is completely relevant on a thread about prostitution to say that a man who pays to have sex with women is a misogynist.

That's not radical feminism - sorry, it's just not.

Whatmeworry · 12/03/2012 15:37

DinahMoHum. I've been on the recieving end a number of times to a paticular group of people on MN and been accused of all sorts of vile things simply for having a penis different view. As such I do find it ironic that some of those same people take such umbridge at being treated in the same way that they feel so entitled to treat others.

Me too, and sans penis.

It is indeed ironic looking at who protesteth so much here and comparing it to who doth howl me down. Fortunately I have a sense of humour and like sex, so largely don't care :o

And it is a nice day :)

TheBigJessie · 12/03/2012 15:37

I don't want to be monotonous, but well, I'm still confused. For example, the relationships forum is one where people go to get help, advice, and understanding about rather joyless things.

I'd expect any tactful post to be joyless. Taking joy in others' misfortune is schadenfreude!

Am I taking you literally? What would a joyful, sex positive, supportive post look like?

DinahMoHum · 12/03/2012 15:40

i think ive explained myself enough now tbh. Starting to do my head in

its been enlightening, cheers x

OP posts:
ShirleyKnot · 12/03/2012 15:41

I think it would say "IT's ONLY SEX! LOL!"

Nyac · 12/03/2012 15:43

"No doubt we will see the same cheerleaders on the next one though"

Yes we will, and they will claim to speak for thousands of Mumsnetters. Because what's important is haranguing other people whose opinions they don't like and having massive threads about how awful they are.

Meanwhile, today, Mumsnet is conducting a campaign that originated in the FWR section which says "We believe you" to all the women out there who've been raped or sexually assaulted and who have never seen justice for what was done to them.

I know which impact I think it's important, and it's not the one from the list of usual suspects having a go at the feminists for the 54th time.

TheBigJessie · 12/03/2012 15:44

The word "joy" is looking funny to me now. Joy, joy, joy... Joyless, joyous, joyful, overjoyed... Enjoyed.

seeker · 12/03/2012 15:45

I still want to see an example of one of these awful, bullying posts from feminists that upset non feminists so much!

Oh and an example of something vile that a poster has been accused of because he has a penis.

Just one of each. Quick cut and paste. Shouldn't take long. Because it wouldn't take me long to c and p where I have been called man-hating, or a humourless harridan if I wanted to, so assume you could do the same.

PlumpDogPillionaire · 12/03/2012 15:48

But can we really be sure that the OP meant 'joyless', Jessie. Perhaps these vexing feminist broads (or relationship politico-wingnuts or whatever) were in fact 'jobless'.

DefiniteMiss · 12/03/2012 15:52

'On the last one the OP got banned and kept trying to come back'

Who was that then?

TheBigJessie · 12/03/2012 15:57

I'm not sure which would be worse, PDM!

Shirley, I'm not sure your example is supportive. Dear, dear. Perhaps you could add a smilie? Or perhaps a ?

Wink
PosiePumblechook · 12/03/2012 15:57

Sheesh....you cannot use broad brush strokes to label feminists.

PosiePumblechook · 12/03/2012 15:59

PlumpDogPillionaire Mon 12-Mar-12 15:48:03
But can we really be sure that the OP meant 'joyless', Jessie. Perhaps these vexing feminist broads (or relationship politico-wingnuts or whatever) were in fact 'jobless'.

Careful you don't out yourself, dear.

SirGinTheUnreasonable · 12/03/2012 16:02

I've given you examples in the past seeker.

You also started an anti-religeon thread recently where you were told you were known for stiring things up.

It's personalty that is the issue, not ideology.

Not much else to be said.

I'm off too to frolick in the meadows.

Have a great day everyone.

catgirl1976 · 12/03/2012 16:05

It's a miserable day here :( joyless even

No frolicking for me :(

seeker · 12/03/2012 16:05

What on earth does that mean?

catgirl1976 · 12/03/2012 16:10

What does what mean?