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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was it that odd, or is MiL overracting?

292 replies

Midnightmoon · 10/03/2012 21:30

Had some bad news today and I was very upset the 2 older Dcs where on play dates. So it was just me, Dh and Dd2. Dd2 was asleep when it happened so it was just me and Dh. We curled up on the sofa and after crying all over him I fell asleep on him.
Was woken up an hour later by MIL who just lets herself in. She walked in and saw me still asleep on Dh at this point. She immediately jumped into a lecture on how this should not be done at all and using my Dh as a bed was direspectful towards him. Dh said he didn't mind and said she shouldn't of woken me up. (This is because I haven't been sleeping alot recently but MIL doesn't know this and if I'd of known she was coming I'd of tried to stay awake) MiL wasn't happy at this and asked where the Dcs where. Told her the 2 Dcs where out with their friends. She said I was awful mother and what if something had happened to the Dcs while i was asleep and they needed taking care of. I said that Dh would of woken me up plus Dh could of taken care of them otherwise. MiL pulled a face and then walked upstairs woke Dd2 , came down told me I needed to 'get cleaning' rather than laze around sleeping all day.
Dh got grumpy at this told her to leave and that she didn't know what I did for my family and that if it wasn't for me there was not way he would be able to do it all, she then left.
So was it that odd or am I the only one who has a very comfy Dh. :o

OP posts:
FoxyRoxy · 10/03/2012 23:28

Change the locks. Tomorrow.

shelscrape · 10/03/2012 23:38

Oh my word .... mad, mad MIL. Change the locks! if you can't do it straight away, put an extra bolt on the front door to prevent her being able toget in with that key .... and copying the key too!!! bonkers and rude I think

thatboysmum · 11/03/2012 00:17

Wow... just wow! Shock
I really can not understand how some people think they have such rights!
Change those locks or just move and not tell them.

BagofHolly · 11/03/2012 00:40

You know, even the interfering MIL bit I can sort of understand - not justify in any way - but I get how DIL/MIL relationships can be tricky, but waking your child? WAKING A SLEEPING CHILD! Nope, out, on her arse, the cheeky cow! What on earth makes anyone think they're entitled to wake a sleeping child unless the house is on fire etc?
Has she got form for going on like this or is she usually a darling?
(I know the answer to that, I reckon!)

Selks · 11/03/2012 01:32

OMG she is beyond out of order! What a nut job! Doesn't sound like FiL is much better either. Thank heavens your DH seems not to be going along with it.
Get those locks changed pronto and set some strict boundaries......they are showing your and DH's relationship no respect whatsoever.

MrsBonkers · 11/03/2012 01:49

Move house!
Do you have any more tales of her weirdness?

empirestateofmind · 11/03/2012 04:32

Wow just wow. Change the locks pronto.

You should be able to have privacy in your own home and for her to wake a sleeping child was unforgivable.

Dreadful woman. She has the sensitivity of a rhino and her DH (your FIL) is enabling/condoning her behaviour. Shame on him.

Three cheers for your lovely DH sticking up for you and sending her away.

Moobee · 11/03/2012 04:43

Shea sounds obnoxious and I wouldn't see her again until she apologised (which by the sounds of it would be never). I'd also change the locks ASAP.

south345 · 11/03/2012 04:58

I'd change the locks too, and I wouldnt be seeing her until she apologised.

We havent spoken to my mil for nearly 2 years after she told me she was going to rock ds to sleep and then went off crying when I didn't let her (she was drunk) her new boyfriend who we'd never met told dh I was totally out of order and horrible to her for not letting her do as she wanted.

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 11/03/2012 05:58

Yes he told FiL that MiL was being horrid and unreasonable. FiL said he was her only son and Dh should stop letting his wife rule him

Is tgat advice that fil is giving due to his own experience!

ilikecandyandrunning · 11/03/2012 06:01

Seriously, why do you let this happen? I bet this happens a lot? Change lock on Monday and tell her that until she behaves she is not welcome to see any of you. Why do you key her do this?

ilikecandyandrunning · 11/03/2012 06:03

Let! Not key!

Iwantcandy · 11/03/2012 07:14

First get key to her house. Go round there in the middle of the night. Wake them both up making rude comment about their sleeping arrangements then tell mil you're disgusted by the state of her house and ask how she can sleep when the place is so filthy.Wink

Then change your locks

Moveslikejagger · 11/03/2012 07:19

Change your locks and tell her to Fuck right Off. Don't have anything to do with her until she apologises.

GavisconJunkie · 11/03/2012 07:20

Right, permission to drip feed! I want more. I'm guessing this isn't the only mental thing she's done?

Pastabee · 11/03/2012 07:36

YANBU and if I was you I'd be having palpitations at the thought of what she really got up to in your house when you were on holiday. Nosy old boot.

elinorbellowed · 11/03/2012 07:45

I think (donning amateur psychologist hat) that she is jealous of her only son's relationship and something came over her when she saw him showing love for his lovely partner all cosy on the sofa. I think she needs help to let go of her son.....

Ephiny · 11/03/2012 07:54

OMG, who does she think she is, letting herself into your home, waking your baby, and delivering a lecture on when you're allowed to sleep/cuddle and criticising your parenting/housekeeping? Shock

Take that key off her right now, or change the locks. You don't have to put up with this.

Some of the criticism are quite bizarre anyway. Why is it your responsibility solely to do the cleaning, and take care of the DCs? What on earth is wrong with having a cuddle and a nap on the sofa, that sounds lovely to me!

Sarahplane · 11/03/2012 10:30

Wow, what the hell is her problem? She's sounds like an absolute nightmare. Take her key off her and don't let her back in unless she's gonna stop being such a cow

Smellslikecatspee · 11/03/2012 13:02

WHAT

THE

FUCK!

Another vote to change the locks

fluffiphlox · 11/03/2012 13:06

Tell her to mind her own beeswax and get the key back. Cheeky devil.

And it's would have, not would of. Sorry I couldn't help myself Wink

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 11/03/2012 15:43

FUCK OFF is a complete sentence!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 11/03/2012 15:45

although YOU MAD OLD BAG could be added for effect

2rebecca · 11/03/2012 16:54

FIL sounds unreasonable as well. Why does he think a grown man should let his mother rule him? Your husband wasn't letting you rule him, he was refusing to let his mother rule both of you.
I would be giving them an ultimatum of either giving all the keys back because they don't repect your privacy and are rude to you in your own house or tell them you will change the locks and that the fact you are having to have the expense and hassle of this because they won't return your keys will adverely affect your relationship with them.
The relationship sounds stuffed at the moment anyway so maybe easier to change the locks, or lock as hopefully she only has the key to one door.

Prudencetheflatulent · 11/03/2012 17:10

Get one of those fingerprint scanner locks. They are fantastic and you'll never have to worry about her copying the keys. You can scan her finger if you need her to look after the house when you're away and then delete it when you don't want her in. You can also have a PIN and change it whenever you want. We had one in our old flat because I was always getting locked out.