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Original poster

Was it that odd, or is MiL overracting?

292 replies

Midnightmoon · 10/03/2012 21:30

Had some bad news today and I was very upset the 2 older Dcs where on play dates. So it was just me, Dh and Dd2. Dd2 was asleep when it happened so it was just me and Dh. We curled up on the sofa and after crying all over him I fell asleep on him.
Was woken up an hour later by MIL who just lets herself in. She walked in and saw me still asleep on Dh at this point. She immediately jumped into a lecture on how this should not be done at all and using my Dh as a bed was direspectful towards him. Dh said he didn't mind and said she shouldn't of woken me up. (This is because I haven't been sleeping alot recently but MIL doesn't know this and if I'd of known she was coming I'd of tried to stay awake) MiL wasn't happy at this and asked where the Dcs where. Told her the 2 Dcs where out with their friends. She said I was awful mother and what if something had happened to the Dcs while i was asleep and they needed taking care of. I said that Dh would of woken me up plus Dh could of taken care of them otherwise. MiL pulled a face and then walked upstairs woke Dd2 , came down told me I needed to 'get cleaning' rather than laze around sleeping all day.
Dh got grumpy at this told her to leave and that she didn't know what I did for my family and that if it wasn't for me there was not way he would be able to do it all, she then left.
So was it that odd or am I the only one who has a very comfy Dh. :o

OP posts:
brdgrl · 10/03/2012 21:43

Change the locks. She's a piece of work a psycho.

giveitago · 10/03/2012 21:44

Yes, have a key in the event of losing yours but how does that translate into letting herself in, waking you and your dh up, criticizing you, demanding to know where your dcs are and then waking one of your kids up and demanding that you start cleaning.

Dear god.

My dm has a key to our door - but she will phone and ask if we are available if she wants to come over and she respects our space. What is this woman doing?

Well done your dh for being a proper dh though.

catgirl1976 · 10/03/2012 21:44

He sounds great - good on him.

Send your MIL to me and I'll put the mad old bat straight for you. :)

msrisotto · 10/03/2012 21:44

SHE WON'T GIVE YOUR OWN HOUSE KEY BACK????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? That's fucking outrageous! Who on earth does she think she is? Fuck my life!!!

ProcessYellowC · 10/03/2012 21:45

Your MiL is very odd. Is she always like that? Agree with getting the locks changed.

Sounds like your DH is lovely.

pointythings · 10/03/2012 21:46

What a lovely DH you have... He stands up for you, and he realises his purpose in life, which is to be your pillow shoulder to cry on.

Get the key back. If this fails, change the locks and find someone else to check the house when you are away.

AdventureInKL · 10/03/2012 21:46
  1. Change the locks
  2. No-one but DH and I can wake sleeping children in this house. I'd be very cross for that.
  3. Does she live in the 1950s? Reiteration that cleaning is no longer a woman's occupation.
  4. As for the rest of it, I'd be tempted to cut off contact for a while in the vague hope of an apology.
Spuddybean · 10/03/2012 21:46

Even if she gave the key back she may have it copied. Change locks just to make sure, and never, ever speak to her give her a key again.

Original poster
Midnightmoon · 10/03/2012 21:47

I shall look into changing the locks see what Dh thinks.
catgirl1976-Thank you, I'm not sure Dh would be willing though :o

OP posts:
storytopper · 10/03/2012 21:48

Yep - change the locks - and ask someone else to look after your house next time you go on holiday.

Great to hear you have your DH's full support.

Sorry about your bad news.

catgirl1976 · 10/03/2012 21:50

No probably not Grin

I am just all cross on your behalf. Not what you need at anytime, least of all when you've had bad news.

Original poster
Midnightmoon · 10/03/2012 21:51

FiL just rang told Dh that he should not bully his mother like that.Dh asked for the key back You were right she has copied the key as FiL has jsut told us.
We are now talking about changing the locks.

OP posts:
zipzap · 10/03/2012 21:52

Sorry about your bad news.

Do you think she has ever let herself in when you aren't there?

And as for her lecture - turn it around and lecture her on what a sad miserable repressed old boot she is to think that and how she would be a much better person if she was able to snuggle up with her loved one in life.

breatheslowly · 10/03/2012 21:52

Yup - change the locks. My DParents have keys to our house, but always ring and only let themselves in if I don't get to the door in a reasonable time. It means that I can have a shower even if they are due to arrive.

As for what she said, she was completely out of order. Does she expect you to stay awake 24 hours a day in case your DCs need help? Surely a crying child or the phone would have woken you (if your DH hadn't been there and perfectly capable of taking care of the DC)? I probably would have told her to F off.

Sorry about your news - hope you are feeling better.

pointythings · 10/03/2012 21:52

Sorry to hear it has come to that, OP, but not surprised. Lock change strongly recommended.

Waking up sleeping children would be crossing a major red line for me too.

FairhairedandFrustrated · 10/03/2012 21:53

Is she of a different culture? (not that that would excuse how feckin rude she was!)

catgirl1976 · 10/03/2012 21:53

FiL will only have heard her side of things. And perhaps your DH gets his lovely supporting-his-wife tendancies from his dad so you can't be too cross with your FiL for that :)

But DO change the locks!

And have a nice glass of wine and then get back to snuggling up with your DH

storminabuttercup · 10/03/2012 21:56

Bloody hell, what a nightmare! Change the locks!

Original poster
Midnightmoon · 10/03/2012 21:56

zipzap Dh has just let me know that she has before while we weren't here and she tidied. Dh found out told MiL not to do it and she promised she wouldn't again. He didn't tell me cause he thought it was a one off

OP posts:
Original poster
Midnightmoon · 10/03/2012 21:57

She is british

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 10/03/2012 21:57

Outrageous - key holder yes - key user at whim, no way.

What if you had managed to send all the children outand you were doing naughties on the sofa Grin

fedupofnamechanging · 10/03/2012 21:58

If she was my mil, she'd be banished from my house for all time. there is no way I'd want such a nasty bitch anywhere near my children.

What sort of person refuses to hand back someone else's key? And that's as well as the letting herself in, being so very nasty to you and thinking she has a right to go upstairs and wake up your child.

Call the locksmith on Monday. She'd be dead to me and mine.

Spuddybean · 10/03/2012 21:59

Did your DP tell FIL what really happened? and was he still on MIL's side? If so they are both loons with major boundary issues. New locks methinks!

ratspeaker · 10/03/2012 22:01
  1. get those locks changed, dont tell her
  2. its none of her business what you do in the PRIVACY of your own home 3)You dont have to justify yourself to her for snuggling into your DH for any reason, thats how couple support each other, show love, affection and bond
  3. she's probably jealous -see reason 3
  4. what if it had been better circumstances and you and DH had been swinging from the chandeliers wearing wetsuits?
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/03/2012 22:01

CHANGE THE LOCKS move house. She sounds dreadful.