to think most men want a skinny woman

[theuglymate]

I go out with my friend occasionally and I can't think of a time when she doesn't have a crowd of men around her. We are similar age, height, I am no oil painting but not completely hideous either. The main difference is that she is a size 10 and I am a size 14. I always feel like that fat ugly mate and it is soul destroying.

I also think its about dressing for your shape their are skinny and fat women who do not dress for their shape and look awfull

And some women who dress for their shape look very sexy

Nigella looks in my view much more attractive that some Paris Hilton say

Well, heres a thing, im a size 20, i do think its a leeeetle bit vain when women of a size 14 complain of being fat, you are blatantly NOT fat. You are probably just about right. And you are wrong, most men do NOT want a stick insect.

I am a big girl, the only negative comments i ever get about my weight are from other women, I am very happy in my own skin thankyou very much - my husband thinks im sexy, ok so he isn't ALL men, but men flirt with me all the time, sometimes its embarrasing! I have great tits, men like tits.

So OP, respectfully, YABU

I think it is pretty silly to generalise about what most men want. It's like generalising about what women want.

I loathe bubbly as a descriptor for women. It brings up an image of a loud Slimming World consultant.

Perhaps all these larger women saying that "most women don't want a stick insect" forget how it feels to be labelled simply based on your size. How about most men want someone warm, funny and kind and who they find attractive?

I don't agree with these generalisations at all. We attract people that are attracted to each of us.

So it's different for everyone. Bigger women will say that's what men want.

I attract people who like me. I don't attract men who want big boobs, tummy and 'curves'.

God loads of men do like slim women. Bonkers to suggest otherwise.

LeQueen thuis is what i'm worried about as after losing 15 stones, i'll be slim/curvy in clothes/Gok slimming wear underneath but possibly a baggy saggy mess underneath.

Can't. fecking. win :(

Perhaps all these larger women saying that "most women don't want a stick insect" forget how it feels to be labelled simply based on your size. How about most men want someone warm, funny and kind and who they find attractive?

Duh. My point would have been better made if I had got the quote right. Most men, not most women.

Being the 'bigger' friend is the best 'idiot repellent' ever. (sorry if it's already been said!).
I've been out with friends who have been pretty much harassed by all sorts of horrible creatures. :o
Believe me you wouldn't want the attention of any man who is put off by the fact that you are (only) a size 14.

More than a handful is a waste
less than a handful is no fun

what men drool over in public and what they actually want in a partner are two very different things.
Only the Brad Pitts of this world get the drop dead gorgeous girl who wants a football team of their babies - even George Clooney has not managed it.

When it comes to marry rather than snog, men are programmed to want ladies who are fertile - androgyny is out, siblings and nieces/nephews are in
BUT women are programmed to look for providers (Bernie Ecclestone / Donald Trump, any Rolling Stone)
SO we actually have the upper hand as they have to prove but we just have to BE.

Arielnonbio That is a very fair point

I think most men want pretty, attractive, well groomed women who are in the healthy weight range and who look healthy and happy. Does your friend tick more of these boxes than you do?

People are attracted to healthy people with a naturally healthy looking body and an asymetrical face.

I used to annoy my size 8 friend by having more men around me (size 14) than she'd have around her. But I had boobs and wiggled more when I danced (this is a LONG time ago now). I was just smilier and more confident I think.

It's mostly a pretty / gorgeous face isn't it. Whatever is attractive to the other person.

And lets face it the attraction of some men isn't to be coveted.

if you are talking about attraction yes i think men prefer slimmer women

but falling in love is totally different

i have been curvy at 10 and now i am a 14 still curvy but got a lot more attention when i was slimmer, i felt sexy and that i think is what made the difference the men i was interested in were usually interested in me.

i also do not think you have to be over friendly and chatty to men i hate to see women stading at a bar with a fixed scary smile on their face looking desperate happy and waiting to be chatted up by the guy that chooses them, jsut be yourself and be comfortable with that

This is all within the context of male attention on a night out. The strangers that you meet on a night out might have different agendas which would impact on their behaviour. Do they want a life partner, a shag, or a friend?

I know that I am drawn to what I perceive as attractive people, but weight has very little to do with this. Between a size 10 and a 14 I can't really tell, I have put my foot in it so many times because I can't judge a womans size. So I have said things like, 'my mum thinks I am a size x! How rude!' to somebody many sizes over an x because I just see us all as women, friends and equally attractive.

I think that men are largely like women and go for somebody whose personality they like for a life partner, somebody who is willing for a shag, and somebody who is friendly as a friend.

I hope this makes sense and that I am not being an arse again.

I think that most men like woman who are slim but curvy with good boobs and some arse. Think Holly Willoughby. A pretty face helps.
We are obsessed with sizing, but as others have said, it's all to do with ones shape./height Some look slim at size 14 others look chubby.

I think much of it depends how you wear your body iyswim.

Some skinny women look like they want to disappear into themselves. Ohters are foxes. Some larger women look like they can't stand it. Others really use their va va voom.

If you love your body, so will others.

My DH would love a skinny blonde with great legs and a tiny waist. He used to have one but she got older and gave him children. I remind him often that we have maintained our 3 stone differential and he has what he deserves and feels comfy with . Having said that am now size 12/14 and was 8/10 when he met me.

Men are apparently programmed to like smaller women - as in smaller than they are. As you're fairly tall and wear heels you may seem big height-wise?

And yes, British men do prefer slimmer women (max size 12 as a rule, based on a piece if research I read - but that was a while ago and sizes are bigger now so perhaps more like a modern day 10).

I think a lot of this is a status thing - when I was bigger I still got attention but even men found me attractive they didn't want to date me because of my size (14/16) as I didn't fit into their idea of what a girlfriend should look like. so they just tried to sleep with me instead

If I were braver I'd post a pic of us on our night out, then you'd be able to judge for yourselves.

Even though.

Oh - and catch men's eyes if they look your way, and smile at them. Then look away.

Different men like different things, but few like the extremes. Ideal figure fashions change over the years, at the moment it is very biassed towards thin (also in 1920s fwiw).

Can't tell what you are like socially OP but some people are more adept. There is stuff about personality types that says certain types are more attractive to the mainstream so that's part of it too.

I'd be interested to know what you were both wearing.

IMVHO men hate/are threatened by anything terribly fashion forward.

Also, if women dress for their body type they can really make themselves look attractive. Choose the wrong thing and a. you will look worse than you need to and b. will feel uncomfoatable which is the polar opposite of sexy.