to think most men want a skinny woman

[theuglymate]

I go out with my friend occasionally and I can't think of a time when she doesn't have a crowd of men around her. We are similar age, height, I am no oil painting but not completely hideous either. The main difference is that she is a size 10 and I am a size 14. I always feel like that fat ugly mate and it is soul destroying.

My DP doesn't tend to find very overweight women attractive - but neither does he tend to fancy the cliched "thin and beautiful" type of women, eg. Cheryl Cole (who I personally think is stunning). Whenever she comes on telly and I go "God she's so pretty" he grunts "Hurrumph... she needs pie".

In his opinion "Real Women Wobble A Bit".

At a size 14 you are not fat.

YANBU, OP. I agree with the points made about self confidence. However, sometimes the 'friend' herself can be confidence-sapping in her enjoyment of 'lording it' over you....

aldiwhore - you can be size 6 with curves. i have always been around a size 6 and have had D cup boobs since I was 16. It all depends on how you carry weight and I have just been lucky any weight I have got always goes to my boobs but I always get the how could you be so slim with such massive tits,

I think it all depends on looking at someone I for instance would look huge at size 14 whereas others would look gaunt at size 6. Depends on body size and bone structure you cant tell by it written down. However most men I know dont like lots of excess fat, I would say women dont like it on men either.

I would also say the slimmer sizes are usually the most popular eg 6 - 10 ish hence why men fancy celebrities there usually mostly in that size and you dont often see many that much bigger than that, except ones like beyonce but they are super, super toned at the size they are at with no excess fat at all. Men generally are also attracted to that type of shape but again dont want the excess fat.

There are only certain men who base attractivesness in real life people on 'celebrities' luckily- and they are generally the type of men nobody would want to be attracted to them!

Play.com- bog off. How is what you've just said any better than someone saying 'these slimmer women who refer to themselves as thin- you are just scrawny admit it'

molly3478, everything you say is true. Sadly. I know that my DH does not fancy me as much since I have put on weight. However, he would never say. He always says how sexy I am, etc. It's bullshit, if you ask me. Sometimes I wish he would just be honest...

I stand by what I said last night. Drunk or not (and i certainly wasn't when I posted in response to your post limitedperiodonly). Screaming dump your mate is on a par with Leave the bastard. And in the context of the thread, you have no reason to suggest her friend is an arse. Very unfair.

And if you are suggesting the OP is fishing for compliments rather than looking for reassurance and a solution to her lack of confidence then you might want to look up the MN rules on personal attacks.

Either way, you're talking out your backside.

I think men go for confident, bubbly women who are fun - regardless of size. I often get loads of male attention and im a BIG girl, its because im a bit loud i suppose and approachable. Im happily "married" so the attention is just a bit of fun so maybe they wouldnt be so interested if they thought they might actually have to shg me .

I am a big girl, but im fit (healthy), walk and cycle everywhere. I have recently been cycling about 18 miles a day, three times a week to get to a voluntary job. I said this to a woman at the school yesterday - instead of saying, wow thats impressive desperate, she actually said to me "have you lost any weight" I think my face did look a bit and i said, err, i have no idea, i don't care - she didnt know how to deal with that. I wasn't offended but i just found it a bit of an odd comment that people assume that because im big i want to lose weight. I would like to tone up a bit, im not loving my flabby thighs or tum, but i honestly love having jordanesque boobies and would hate to loose them and of course, its always the boobies that lose it first when you lose weight.

I think most men would want a healthy woman. Not ill looking thin and not spherical.

Not always. When i lost ten stone ten years ago (unfortunately ive gained some of it back now which im trying to do something about) i went from a 46G bra size down to a 34F so i was still fairly ample up there and i was happy at a size 14 so am trying to get down to that size again

cherry while re-reading my post, which apportioned equal blame to the questionable behaviour of the OP and her friend, you might want to look up the rules on personal attacks too.

You made a mistake and you're not generous enough to acknowledge it. You compound it now by being rude.

Regarding your reference to MN rules: I will not be reporting your post because I think it's better to let things stand so everyone can follow the thread.

I don't even understand why you're attacking me.

I'm 5ft 4ins and size 8. That's not a boast but an explanation which I'm giving you because I, unlike you, am a generous, calm and open soul interested in clarity.

Like you I find it very wearing when people, mostly women, insist I'm not a real woman or don't have an eating or exercise disorder.

I say wearing because actually I'm confident enough to let it wash over me.

I'll let your ill-tempered silliness do the same.

I think most men would want a healthy woman. Not ill looking thin and not spherical.

Exactly - they are looking for biologically fit mates. That means a huge range of women are physically attractive.

IMO the OP is at a different place, where it is about self confidence, and possibly accepting that she may not be "mainstream" attractive, and finding the circles she fits into best. It is quite possibly to be very unattractive to some men,and very attractive to others.

At a guess I'd say her friend is not necessarily more attractive physically, but more at home in the milieu they socialise in. Might be worth you mixing in a bunch of other circles OP?

Men are biologically hardwired to go for women with a 0.7 waist to hip ratio. That is what has been scientifically proven to be what men find attractive the world over. It is because it is the optimal measurement for health and fertility. It has been proven to be more significant than either breasts or facial features when it comes to how men rate women's sexual attractiveness.

It matters not what size the woman is (although a defined WHR ratio can get lost under lots of excess fat). Kate Moss has a O.7 WHR despite her apparent lack of curves, and so did Sophia Loren who was physically much bigger. Both women are considered icons of female beauty.

My top tip for any woman wishing to appear more attractive to men would be to accentuate their waist. The smaller your waist looks, the "curvier" you look, no matter what your size.

I think women want to be skinnier than men want them to be. If you look at images used advertising, products aimed at women use skinnier women than products aimed at men. You never see really skinny women on the front of mens magazines for instance.

My dp would hate a skinny woman, his favourite phrase from his grandad is "if I wanted to court a rake, I would"!
When I put on my winter weight, dp always gets a little bit more amorous :o

All about individual taste,innit?!

I think most people are attracted to someone within a certain range. Within that, you'll find people who only like skinny people, those who like chubby people, those who like the middle sized, etc.

You go outside of that, into the massive massive MASSIVE range and you find that practically nobody is attracted to you. There's the fetishists, of course, but yes, if you are fat - I'm talking obese, size 30+ - there is no point pretending that most people won't find that really unattractive.

I know. I've lived it.

But within the 'normal' range - skinny, thin, slim, well covered, chubby, fat... - there's lots of people attracted to all.

zombie thread

oh bollocks.

I never think to check the date on the OP.

THIS IS WHY I keep going on at MNHQ about locking old threads / putting a warning on. It's a bloody pain in the arse. It isn't difficult to lock a thread/add a date highlight for crying out loud.

And yes, I know, it isn't hard to check a date on an OP either, but having to do that each and every single time you want to post on a thread v tech doing a one off alteration to the board? No contest.

I think men do prefer skinny girls. We're only kidding ourselves by saying men like fatties

As a male I am not attracted to girls of any build, I prefer women.

A grown woman who referred to herself as a 'girl' or heaven forbid a 'girlie' is a far bigger turn off than any body shape.

Yanbu

Men like women who are confident and pretty.

Men like women who like them. :)

I think men just like women. Full stop.

Men like women who listen to them and boost their ego

If I ever get disheartened with men and think they all want a skinny woman with massive fake boobs, I just remind myself that in my fantasy world I'd want a hunky gorgeous Brad Pitt with great pecs and a six pack. In reality, most women just have ordinary bodies/faces and so do men! I'm no supermodel and neither are the men I date/have dated. I think most men realise they're no Brad Pitt themselves and that their interest in these fantasy women is just that- fantasy. In reality, if men only wanted perfect figured women, the human race would die out and it doesn't, people of all shapes and sizes fall in love and shag!