to think these parents are irresponsible and possibly cruel

[ShagOBite]

Inspired by a thread, which was inspired by another thread. (Don't worry MNHQ, no deletions or anything)

Why would you not teach your children to cook and clean? Surely even royalty need to know the basics? Why would you not teach such an important life skill?

AIBU to think it is irresponsible and possibly cruel?

My mum didn't really teach me do those things (she did everything rightly or wrongly) and I muddled through.

Cleanings not hard and most people can learn to cook when they want/need to

IMO, YABU

Well it depends on the age of the kids. I would only say it was cruel if parents were doing it because they want their kids to remain reliant on them.

well
I know of a boys school that until recently did not teach them to cook.
so possibly you might not bother with your sons, because you expected some poor woman to look after them when they were grown up?

cruel?

erm. no

What about cooking Annpann?

I also agree that you don't really need to be taught. Cleaning is some kind of detergent plus some kind of applicator. You can pick up what is best for which areas as you go. And if you can read you can follow a simple recipe.

I think it is verging on cruel. Surely missing out on important skills like this make people less able to live independent lives?

Yes YABU.

It's a bit meh, but I wouldn't say it's either irresponsible or cruel.

If you can read, then you can cook.

If you can learn, then you can clean.

As long as people teach their children how to think, how to learn and how to read, they'll be able to learn basic stuff like cooking and cleaning for themselves.

first day at uni, one of the lads had the fire brigade out

took a frozen pizza out of the box (remove outer packaging) and put it in the microwave OVEN and turned it on for 20 minutes!

and he was a university student so not stupid!

madness

I think there's a lot of cruelty in the world. Personally I wouldn't put not teaching children to cook or clean in that category. Bizarre.

I don't think you need to learn how to clean tbh

A few basic cooking skills maybe but its not hard to cook either really

But that's like saying if you can read, you can . Obviously you can learn to do things later. Surely it's better to know how to do these things and not have to read about them?

How many people learn to cook from scratch from a book?

Some parents see it as their job to do everything for their child, or find that the persistence required to make a teenager cook and clean on a regular basis is beyond them.
I am not one of those parents.
I don't really mind what people do, it's the parental whinging I get irritated by.
You can't run around and pander to your child's every whim and suddenly expect them to give it all up and fend for themselves. DD is at Uni and is amazed by how many are ill-suited to feeding, and washing laundry and general coping.

It's not cruel but it's bonkers.

You can be a university student and stupid (I was a prime example ) because it is pretty stupid to do that. The instructions probably said remove the packaging

I meantioned cooking (easy to pick up when needed)

no, obviously it's not up thee with sexual abuse and slavery.

Not according to MIL secretmincerinser! These womanly skills are things only she knows how to do properly and woe betide anyone who thinks otherwise!

My mother wasn't known for cooking and cleaning, alot of the time it fell to me.
Especially on a Sunday when she sailed off to church and told everyone she was going back to find her dinner cooked for her. All very nice and I'm sure she was pleased with her DD (me) but I did feel put upon.
And when parents went out to grandparents, it became my job to clean the kitchen. (I have 2 siblings BTW, they didn't do it)
Complete waste of time as it was a mess the next day.

So when my DCs are older, I'll get them doing domestic things. They make cakes at the moment.
But I don't want them 'landed' with it like I was. They tidy their rooms and strip their beds.That's fine for now.

Yes I agree 70s, they shouldn't have to do too much.

But there is a lady in her 40s on the other thread who has never used a vacuum cleaner. How can that be?

*mentioned

I think it comes down to how capable a child/person is generally. Some people can pick up things as they go along and some people need more help. Uni was a bit of a shock, having to do stuff for myself, but I didn't feel like my parents had neglected/abused me previously

Totally agree with you Dustinthewind. My aunt used to moan endlessly about all the housework she had to do when her daughters were teenagers. The fact of the matter was, she just wouldn't let them do anything. If she had just shown them what to do and insisted they do it, her housework would have been practically nil. If you want your children to help, make them help, don't do everything and then complain about it! Gah!

I think if you want to help your DC develop into a ' well rounded ' person then that entails encouraging them to develop a sense of social responsibility of which cooking and cleaning are a part .

It is also good for their confidence and self esteem to feel they are helping .

My 3yr old and 6yr old love having small jobs to do in the house - they know that team work is important .

DS1 is two. He puts dirty nappies in the bun, dirty clothes in washing machine, used cups and plates by the sink, clears up his own spills with kitchen towel and tries to help with washing.

I do not want him becoming the kind of man that sits back and watches his wife doing bloody everything.

*bin dammit

lady in her 40s who has never used a vacuum cleaner? L.M.A.O! Lucky cow