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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give dd loads of sympathy when she fell down stairs?

112 replies

mrsshears · 19/02/2012 15:22

Dd1(14) has just fallen down about 5 stairs with the hoover,which she was dragging rather than carrying,when she fell i went over and calmly said "oh dear dd are you alright?" que lots of screaming and crying "aarrgghh i can't walk or stand up" and rolling around the floor.
At this point i said "come on your ok" which resulted in more screaming and crying and refusing to try to move,at which point i'm afraid to say i said "ok well you will have to stay there then"(dd is know to be very dramatic)
Dh then shot me a look of disgust and went over and took over,he says i was far too harsh and should have given dd more sympathy,obviously dd was hurt and a bit shocked but i did feel the whole thing was all a bit dramatic and didnt want to encourage dd to carry it on,what do you think AIBU?

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 19/02/2012 15:24

good job she hadnt really hurt herself eh or you would be feeling mightily guilty and rightly so.

valiumredhead · 19/02/2012 15:26

Why wouldn't you comfort her even if she is known for being dramatic? If I fell down the stairs with a hoover I'd want some tea and sympathy too!

usualsuspect · 19/02/2012 15:28

YABU , Falling down the stairs bloody hurts

Sevenfold · 19/02/2012 15:29

wow your nice....not
hope your poor dd is ok

Kayano · 19/02/2012 15:30

My mum reacted like that to me once

Wink

Turned out I had shattered the bones in my hand and couldn't write and she only realised when my hand turned black

woollyideas · 19/02/2012 15:31

Hmmm... I broke my arm falling down 'a few stairs'. Falling down the stairs can be painful.

CoffeeDog · 19/02/2012 15:32

My twin sis was fantastic at the dramatic fall... my own DD also has inheirted her tallent - mummy i am not sure i will survive after scraping a finger... to the oooowwwww i think i have broken my leg a little bit.

At 10 I once had to wake up my dad at 3am because my arm hurt so much , i had a fall at lunch time and told my mum i think i had broken it (did judo and broke quite a few bones so i know how it feels ;)

she told me to stop being so silly and go tidy my room..... How she managed to keep a blank face when i came downstairs the next morning for breakfast with a plaster cast from wrist to shoulder i will never know ;)

McHappyPants2012 · 19/02/2012 15:32

If I have told my dc a few times not to do something or they will hurt themselves, if they do I check them over but they don't get no sympathy.

StrandedBear · 19/02/2012 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mrsshears · 19/02/2012 15:33

I'am aware it sounds incredibly harsh however dd generally screams the place down whenever she even slightly hurts herself so it is often difficult to know if it is genuine or not.

OP posts:
LittleMissGoodEnough · 19/02/2012 15:33

Why did you say 'come on you're ok'? How could you know that? Why not ask her what hurt and where, so you could then work out whether she was being overly dramatic or not?

nizlopi · 19/02/2012 15:34

I'm glad you're not my mother. Wow.

MooncupandPizza · 19/02/2012 15:35

aw, I think you should have given sympathy - falling is horrible! I fell up a few steps and hurt my hand the other day and I felt all pathetic and shaken and shocked and had to seek some sympathy from DH!

I can imagine the dramatics are a bit annoying but you could maybe have offered sympathy without pandering to the dramatics.

My DD - nearly 4 - is rather dramatic so I do tell her to calm down and she's going to be fine but, obviously at that age, she gets sympathy and cuddles too!

valiumredhead · 19/02/2012 15:37

Ds is dramatic but sometimes he is overly dramatic because he wants a cuddle and he feels he's a bit too old - or sometimes because he has really hue himself!

Imagine if you had fallen down the stairs OP, given yourself a shock and your dh had been as harsh as you have been.

valiumredhead · 19/02/2012 15:37

hurt

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 19/02/2012 15:41

I'm glad you aren't my Mum.

WorraLiberty · 19/02/2012 15:41

My DS2 (12yrs) is a bit of a drama llama and I don't encourage or pander to it.

However, if he fell down the stairs he would have my every sympathy even if he was being a tad OTT.

If anything, the shock affects you more than any minor injury might.

TwoStepsBack · 19/02/2012 15:42

I think you should have given her the benefit of the doubt - until you were certain she was okay.

mumeeee · 19/02/2012 15:44

YABU . Falling down the stairs can hurt a lot and your DD was in shock.

Original poster
mrsshears · 19/02/2012 15:46

I think it is because it happens so often twostepsback.
She is now lying on the sofa shouting at anyone who comes close not to sit near her,i know i will get flamed again for this but you can bet if justin bieber rang the doorbell she would be there in a flash....

OP posts:
charleneanna · 19/02/2012 15:48

youre not a nice mom

LittleMissGoodEnough · 19/02/2012 16:04

I also think you're very brave posting this in aibu! You know it's not going to end well...

TidyDancer · 19/02/2012 16:07

Oh. Poor DD. Falls down the stairs and not an ounce of sympathy from her mother.

Of course YABU. And quite horrible actually.

Tonksforthememories · 19/02/2012 16:12

I generally have the same reaction to DD2, She screamed the place down this morning because DD1 had pinched her. If there's the tiniest bit of blood she will dine out on it for days.

Simply means that if she ever actually hurts herself i'm less likely to take it seriously!

Remembers A&E trip with suspected broken arm, at least 24h after the accident had happened

ClaimedByMe · 19/02/2012 16:13

My ds falls down the stairs nearly every day,we now just open the living room door to check he is ok then leave him to it, dd fell down the stairs for the first time last week and the drama that she made was horrid, it went on for hours, she was fine btw!!