To not give dd loads of sympathy when she fell down stairs?

[mrsshears]

Dd1(14) has just fallen down about 5 stairs with the hoover,which she was dragging rather than carrying,when she fell i went over and calmly said "oh dear dd are you alright?" que lots of screaming and crying "aarrgghh i can't walk or stand up" and rolling around the floor.
At this point i said "come on your ok" which resulted in more screaming and crying and refusing to try to move,at which point i'm afraid to say i said "ok well you will have to stay there then"(dd is know to be very dramatic)
Dh then shot me a look of disgust and went over and took over,he says i was far too harsh and should have given dd more sympathy,obviously dd was hurt and a bit shocked but i did feel the whole thing was all a bit dramatic and didnt want to encourage dd to carry it on,what do you think AIBU?

"the diva like behaviour is most likely in reaction to being ignored "

But then if OP usually ignores it, why is her daughter still doing it?

Because Dad

Ooops!

Because Dad panders to it?

Hex, I've never pandered to my children behaving in a dramatic fashion and 2 of them still do it, age 5 and 15. My 11 year old DD has never been so dramatic because it's not in her nature.

I like to think they only behave like that when they're with me because they feel comfortable enough to let off steam. They don't do it with other people because they know it's not acceptable. I have high standards of behaviour for all 3 of my DC but they don't all react in the same way to firm boundaries. DD1 and DD3 just have to take things to extremes.

hex
My daughter doesnt throw tantrums she is a drama queen she behaves really well I really dont get that some people have put little snapshots of behaviour and you assume the are spoiled Brats and have tantrums , But im sure your dc behave in a way you dont like and still have to give them a telling off at times , thats what children do , well most children can be naughty , I dont tolerate tantrums i never will ,

Drama queen = tantrum thrower IMO

Of course my children behave at times in a way I don't like. However I do not tolerate tantrummy, diva-style attention-seeking behaviour. From any of them. And as I said, had you nipped it in the bud with your daughter from an early age, you would not be faced with someone who is almost a grown up having a hissy fit over a paper cut now!

YANBU. I'd be the same.

Hex you know what i cant be bothered MY child has never thrown a tantrum she gets a bit ott when she hurtsherself sometimes , the paper cut comment was a flippant remark and you have decided that My daughters behaviour is in someway my fault which of course you are entitled to think after all you can tell that from a few words written on a screen , Kinda feel like having a tantrum myself now

Does anyone else read Smug-Holier-than-Thou-I've-always-parenting-thus-never-had-any-problems-therefore-all-your-problems-are-YOUR-FAULT posts, and think

"Then why are you on MN? Why bother to come on here if you already have it all perfect? Why the F are you wasting your time with us mere mortals?"

If that was aimed at me, ragged, I don't have a holier than thou attitude, however I do know that attention seeking dramatic behaviour can be managed and changed. Two of mine would be like that if I hadn't nipped it in the bud from an early age.

And I'm perfectly entitled to come on Mumsnet if I choose, thank you. It's about slightly more than childrens' behaviour!

I just hope that if the op ever has the misfortune to fall down the stairs whilst carrying the hoover her dd will react in the same manner. Stepping over her mother whilst saying "ok well you will have to stay there then"

Actually paper cuts hurt quite a lot, don't you think?

I get what hex is saying, that children can be tamed somewhat. But I also think there are out n out drama queens, my niece for example. Her parents are shining examples of parenthood, really great with the kids, but their teenage daughter has, and I imagine always will be, a drama queen. She can spin a yarn out of the biggest non-event, she writes with flair, hell she even sleeps in a dramatic fashion! The flip-side to the problem part is the wonderful imagination and creativity.

You don't sound unsympathetic to me - I presume she is ok and therefore you called it right. In this situation I might have given a cuddle but playing silly buggers with the Hoover and drama queen tendencies would mean it was with a huge dose of "did you see why that happened".

I broke my ankle when I was 13 doing a long jump off the kitchen step. Everyone stepped over me as they thought I was putting it on (despite not having a history of histrionics ). Sobbed into my plate of lasagne and crawled off to bed before they believed me. Bastards...