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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have changed DD's wet nappy in a corner of a cafe because they had no babychanging facilities?

235 replies

onwardsnupwards · 16/02/2012 21:07

Please tell me I was being unreasonable, because then I'd be less angry. No facilities in the loo, not even a plastic baby mat to put on the floor. There are no other places locally to change nappies and she was a little sore in the morning. I should have just left when they said they had no facilities, but I was with my Dad and sister and we don't get together as a family that often. So I sat down to order lunch, but I just couldn't face eating, thinking DD might be uncomfortable, so in the corner of the half empty cafe, well out of sight and nose range of other customers, I spread my coat on the carpet and laid DD on it. Just as I'd got clean nappy on DD, the usually over-friendly assistant came over and did a strop: "You can't do that here, this is a restaurant and people are eating". It was just a bit of wee; no one could see; she was on my coat; and it was a fucking caff, not a restaurant. I calmly finished changing her, put my coat back on and stalked out, with my Dad pleading with me to stay and eat. Was I compromising food hygiene? Would a female assistant have reacted in the same way, d'you think? Will I EVER, EVER, EVER visit that caff again? I guess it propelled me back to the dark days of trying to find somewhere breastfeeding friendly, and all those months of being housebound because Northampton is so backward in this regard. Is it even reasonable for a "restaurant" NOT to have baby-changing facilities, when legally they have to provide toilets for the rest of us? Should parents of pre-school children just be banished to the ends of the earth until their children become old enough to spend a penny?

OP posts:
Mya2403 · 17/02/2012 01:38

YABVVVU. Not to mention entitled If I was eating in the Cafe and saw that happening It would put me off for God's sake take her to the toilet to change her nappy. Is that so hard for you to understand?.

PotteringAlong · 17/02/2012 02:18

Lockets - i think that's the point :) feeding where people eat = a-ok. Changing where people relieve themselves =a-ok. Mi ing the 2? Not on...

runningwilde · 17/02/2012 05:54

Op - try the Gina ford book potty training in seven days, I'm not a fan of her sleep methods but her potty training book is spot on! I have pm'd you as I'm a northants girl and really want to know the place you meant?! It wasn't one of those caffs down Gold street was it? That would be very unreasonable! Wink

StickAForkInMeImDone · 17/02/2012 06:13

I'm from Northampton and I wouldn't describe it as Jurassic Hmm
I have always found baby changing facilities close by wherever I am. Where abouts were you?
However (and my apologies if I have this wrong) but did you make a big deal of nappy changing because they didn't have changing facilities? Why does a 2yr old need to lay (lie?) down to be changed unless it was a huge explosion in which case it would be crap for the other customers who are trying to eat.
Child stands up next to your chair, you remove their pants/tights/trousers whip nappy off and put clean one on. No problem and no big drama.
OR at 2yrs old you walk them to the toilet and do it there instead.

Mmmmcheese · 17/02/2012 07:05

I can't believe how many people would put their coats on a toilet floor - let alone their babies! So unhygienic and disgusting! Would you lie down on a toilet floor? If not why make your baby do it?! Shudder to think what you could catch by doing this.

StickAForkInMeImDone · 17/02/2012 07:07

What could you catch? Genuine question. I don;t like the idea of children lying on the floor but if they are on top of a coat (which could then be washed) what are they seriously likely to catch?

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 17/02/2012 07:20

Yuck.....I would never put my coat in a toilet floor Grin

butterfliesinmytummy · 17/02/2012 07:22

1.Go to toilets with baby and buggy
2.Put the buggy in a lay-down position
3.Slide change mat under baby's bum
4.Change baby
5.Wash hands
6.Exit with clean baby

Really, what do you think we do overseas where there aren't baby changing facilities on every bloody corner? Changing a nappy in a restaurant where people are eating is gross and contravenes H&S regs - the cafe owner was right to be angry and I would have complained if you'd done it next to me and my lunch.

StickAForkInMeImDone · 17/02/2012 07:22

No I wouldn't either Loves except if my DC had had an explosion and it was a choice of my coat or the floor. But I am genuinely curious what you can actually catch from the floor.

lucysmum · 17/02/2012 07:31

can't believe people are being so paranoid about germs from toilet floors, wee, poo etc. we are exposed to all sorts of germs all the time, as long as you wash your hands and don't have some problem with your immune system you will be fine 99.9% of time. But no to changing nappies in eating area - not because of 'germs' but because people are there to relax and eat. Standing up or lying down in loo is fine or just nip out of restaurant and find McDonalds, public loos etc that does have changing facilities (or in emergencies a park bench)

Mmmmcheese · 17/02/2012 07:33

E coli for a start!

sunnydelight · 17/02/2012 07:39

You were totally unreasonable to change a nappy in a place where people are eating. You might be at that stage of parenthood where the world revolves around your baby, move past it and you will be thinking "who in their right mind would think that was acceptable". Totally reasonable on the other hand not to frequent places without baby change facilities.

StickAForkInMeImDone · 17/02/2012 07:42

Mmmm Grin

belgo · 17/02/2012 07:44

She's nearly two? Then why didn't you just change her standing up? I have done this so many times, or put a cloth on the floor of the toilets when my children were babies, and then wash the cloth at home.

YABU. Totally disgusting, and not nice for the child either.

Velvetcu · 17/02/2012 07:49

I recently had to change dd (17 weeks, pfb) on a toilet floor. I have a change mat in my bag and in fact I even put that on top of baby change facilities because they are probably about as clean as the floor! There is no way I would do it where people are eating, yuck!

StickAForkInMeImDone · 17/02/2012 07:50

belgo you would lay your baby on a cloth on the floor? Shock You can catch ecoli doing that doncha know!
I agree that at 2 you really need to master the art of changing whilst standing up. Though I am impressed (and envious) that you have such a compliant child you haven't had to do that yet.

TroublesomeEx · 17/02/2012 07:52

Erm, (I'm sure it's already been said but since I'm sure I'd have to wade through 7 pages of Yarboos and nothing the slightest bit contentious to find it, I'm going to say it again anyway).

  1. Toilets is for wees and poos and changing nappies - including the vertical/standing up nappy change that children are capable of, and understand the need for, by nearly two.

  2. caffs is for eating, and that includes BF.

different ends of the body, different functions, different places appropriate. I wouldn't wee in the kitchen or eat in the toilet at home so I don't find it too difficult to understand. Maybe you do.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 17/02/2012 08:04

At that age you can change nappies standing up.

I am shocked at how many people will put their coats on toilet floors!! Yuck yuck, that is disgusting! And then you bring that coat back into the restaurant, into your home?
Bleugh bleugh.

Chandon · 17/02/2012 08:04

Why does a coat have to be on a floor anyway? They have these foldable mats especially for baby changing, that come with most changning bags, or can be bought for a few pounds.

OP, you were BU, and also a drama queen and maybe need to be a bit more grown up about things.

BabsJansen · 17/02/2012 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 17/02/2012 08:10

You can babs, depending on the size of the child. Ds is 2.3 and prefers being changed lying down so I use them if one is available, if it's not then he gets changed standing in the toilets.

RuleBritannia · 17/02/2012 08:12

butterfliesinmytummy

  1. Don't forget pushchair
OlympicGoldPennies · 17/02/2012 08:13

What Chandon said.

BTW OP I give you credit for a very gracious acceptance of the drubbing you have received on here. You may be unreasonable to do the nappy in the cafe but you're otherwise fab for taking the full force of MN judgement so well, particularly as you've only been on the site twice! Smile

belgo · 17/02/2012 08:14

At this age my children preferred to have their nappies changed running around the house with me calling after them, desperately trying to catch themGrin.

StickAForkInMeImDone · 17/02/2012 08:15

Sounds like my house belgo Grin