To think my daughter in law has very unrealistic views.

[Mindymum]

I had a bit of an arguement with my dil, this evening. She lives around the corner from my own daughter and I live about 10 mins up the road.
I visit my daughter most days as she has a small baby and older dc, my dil also has a baby and other children.

I haven't actually seen my grandchildren from my son and dil since the very beginning of January when they last came round to me. My dil feels that I don't bother with her dc. I don't really take them out or anything because I feel it's something she should do with her own mother. She has a bad relationship with her own mum and I don't see why I should have to take the place of her mum when I have my own daughter to think about.

My own daughter is much needier and doesn't have a great deal of friends where as my dil does seem to have some good friends. I do baby sit for my son and dil but the dc are usually in bed when I get there. I've been trying to explain to my dil that the relationship between me and my daughter is different to the one with my son and although I love them both very much it's natural to do more with my daughter's dc then theirs.

Really Maryz the mind boggles, what on earth is being posted in legal of all places to merit so many deletions

It's because of attitudes like yours, that my mother in law also shares - ie that her daughter's children are more 'family' then her son's that I intend to be entirely equal in my attentions if my son and daughters have children, regardless if one of my own children was 'struggling' more than the others.

My children are still too young to see the distinction given between the two sets of grandchildren - but you better believe that it does cause resentment between my in law's own children.

Before my sil had children I had a very very good relationship with my inlaws - since the children have been born it has suffered - and genuinely because of their different attitude to the children.

My brother has a son and I know that my mother treats his son and my children exactly the same - as it should be.

Oops... very sorry witch000.

Meant Mindymum.

Animation that's ok :)

I would dearly, dearly love to have a closer relationship with my MIL, and it upsets me enormously that my DS essentially only has 1 set of GPs, the others are strangers who visit occasionally, upset his routine and generally distress him. But then, my IL's response to being told they were about to become GPs for the first time was to move to the other end of the country. YABVVVVVU.

My grandma is awesome I spend a lot
Of time with her, have her over, take her to appointments and visits etc...

My nana... She wasn't bothered by me at all (her daughters daughter went to Oxford and they were rich) and I just wasn't bothered at all with her.

She didn't treat us equally and couldnt have given a fook about my dad or me. We visited out of duty, she never came to us despite invites...

Giving my first born my Grans name as honestly don't give a toss about the other side