To feel really let down by dd.

[MissSayuri]

I am coming to the end of my studies and will graduate with a PhD this summer. The graduation dates have just been released and dd has told me she can't make it. She can't make it because her dad is taking her to a music festival that weekend. The ceremony is on the Monday and the festival ends on the sunday night. My partner offered to go and collect her on the sunday night (a 200 mile round trip, her dad doesn't drive) but she refused saying that there are good parties through the night on the sunday or something which she doesn't want to miss. I won't admit it to her, but I am really hurt.

dreaming I agree she's in a dilemma, caught between two parents. I'm quite taken aback you can't see that.

I'm not sure the OP "can't see that". It's more like she downright refuses to see it that way.

I would feel let down OP. I have an 18 yo dd and she is my rock. I am also apart from her dad but thier relationship does not cross the boundaries of ours. If you want her there, she should be there if she can be. That's what families are. I hope lots of these nasty posters end up on their own in old age with kids who don't give a shit about their feelings, it'll be their own fault.
I hope she comes and supports her quite wonderful mum x