to be fuming at my DSis and her sodding wedding?

[MsIngaFewmarbles]

DSis has been looking at venues for her wedding for next year, asking advice and generally being very excited about it all, revving my 3 DDs into an orgy of excitement over being bridesmaids. Fine, no problem, I'm thrilled that she has found the right person and love a nice wedding.

She TEXT me tonight telling me that they have now decided (and have booked) a wedding abroad instead. She'd love us to come. I called her back and calmly asked for details etc, and it turns out we would also be caring for my DN (4) whilst they have a 'honeymoon'.

I am fuming.

1. She TEXT me this information? WTF????
2. Why the hell did she tell my DDs that they would be her BMs if it wasn't all definite?
3. If we did manage to spend our entire holiday budget (and then some), we would be spending our time looking after DN

what on earth has it got to do with her BFF anyway. I think I would sharpish withdraw any offers of help for anything if this is how they behave!

She is mortally offended on DSis's behalf. We should find the money. This is a woman who is 30, moves back to Mum and Dads when she (frequently) loses jobs and they still give her spending money on a regular basis. So she knows all about budgeting for a family of 6

You are doing so well, I would be struggling not to get angry at BFF

Probably best to turn your phone off so you don't get any more helpful texts full of advice from idiot friend of sister .

Next time she asks what she is supposed to do the answer to the question is
"This isn't my problem to overcome. I wish you well with your planning"

I know I'm unforgiveably nosey but what do those texts actually say?

"shut it bitch" would work as a text.

God, I'm angry for you.

Cheeky fucking cow.

Well done.

We got married abroad so we could avoid inviting most of the family! :o She will learn. (hopefully)

Ignore the texts, however tempting it is to get into a discussion with the woman-child mate. Your sis needs a few days to realise that her dream wedding on a freezing Cypriot beach is not going to happen, any well meaning olive branches won't be seen as such!

Have to say, as soon as you said she'd been pricing up you sharing with her mates I thought they been complaining about cost too

I wanted to ask the same as anonacfr but felt too nosey.

I think it's wrong that she's wants you to spend 4 times what you spent on your own wedding to go to hers

Oh dear OP, her friend sounds insane. I would text back saying 'we cannot justify scrimping and scraping for 14 months for dsis's wedding. We are sad we can't go but we have 4 children and my family finances are none of your business' and then not engage with her anymore.

Surely the fact everyone can't go must make her realise it is an outrageous suggestion. The selfishness of people just beggars belief!

Can you not just say to her BFF that you're not going all that way for a finger buffet and a few nights' babysitting?

Praps not...

BFF sounds like your sisters enabler and a bit bonkers!

Text her back... "Get your dirty wooden spoon out of this and stop texting me, idiot face."

You did the right thing by saying no, your sister is being selfish just because it's a special day for her it doesn't mean she can be selfish and expect everyone to answer to her whims, if she really wants her family and friends at her wedding then she would get married in the UK. I hate it when brides think their weddings should be the main focus of everyone's lives.

Tell the bff to mind her own buisness and think of other people's POV and if she doesn't stop tell her to grow the fuck up, she sounds like a shit stirrer.

Telling you by text is rude, very rude.

Leading your DD's up the garden path without confirming they'd be bridesmaids is cruel.

Expecting your family to fork out lots of wonga to go to a place you haven't chosen, perhaps can't really afford and have to look after your DN is totally unreasonable.

She may be your sister, but you're not her slave. Long walk, short pier. Send her a "good luck" card and a £20 M & S voucher and let her go off and get married wherever she flipping pleases but she's got no right to be so selfish and shitty to you and your family. If anyone asks why you aren't there, tell them the story.

Why do grown adults turn into overly pampered princes and princesses when it's their "special day?" Frankly, hardly anyone gives a hoot about it but themselves and it's beyond me why anyone should think otherwise, or expect anyone else to be in the least way inconvenienced for what is their wedding after all. Gah!

Grrrr fucking weddings!!!! I have had it today with wedding planning!

DBro is getting married in 2014, so they're talking venues etc and as there are people travelling 200 + miles, I said well if you do Venue A you are adding a round trip of 40 miles from Venue to Church PLUS the guests are paying for accommodation (plus travel costs for the weekend) - you would have thought I'd said "erm could you please sacrifice your first born, I'm into devil worship" with the reaction I got.

Apparently, it's not my wedding and if the guests don't like it , they don't have to come. Nobber. Just wipe half your guest list off then, all those 'important' people won't be coming.

THEN (and this really winds me up) cousin gets married in Sept. Has been downsized due to budget, fine. DD is a bridesmaid. My mum is paying for her dress. Oh the nugget - cousin's aren't invited to the daytime.

So, my daughter is going, my mum is paying for the privillage of her being a bridesmaid, (I've not been asked, mum has just told me she's doing it) but I'm not invited. So, if mum wasn't paying, I'd be expected to pay and then not be invited to the day?

I have seen my arse big style.

I'm sick of bloody weddings.

Sorry to invade your thread but just wanted to vent and let you know you aren't alone with annoying/unthinking family members.

I would be tempted to text back to sister's BFF - "You are neither family nor my friend, I'm not prepared to discuss my family finances with you."

As for your sister, unless she's offering to pay, you have to stick to your guns. She might have a fantasy about how great it would be for you all to be on holiday together, but the reality is being a shock. Weddings are so expensive you get used to seeing stupid amounts of money being discussed and can get numb to it.

I want to know what the texts actually say too

Why have best friends now got a gratuitous "f" or was this to distinguish them from breastfeeding boyfriends?
If my sister's best friend started sending me stroppy texts I'd tell her to keep out of it and that her participation was just fueling the fire and not helping. I'd also wonder why my sister was handing out my phone number to all and sundry.
I think your sister's reply was positive from your point of view. everyone else in your family thinks she is being unreasonable as well so you don't have to argue your corner. It would have been harder if everyone else thought it was a wonderful idea.
In the grand scheme of a wedding £300 isn't alot. They could rethink things. What's wrong with local registry office and posh restaurant, or village hall and caterers and local band? Not your problem though but her options of 10k wedding in UK or go abroad and make everyone pay through the nose seem rather limited and silly.

Thought it stood for Best Friends Forever boak

But it does help to distinguish in this case between boyfriend and bestfriend, so no boak

"Get your dirty wooden spoon out of this and stop texting me, idiot face."

I love it. I can't wait til I get an opportunity to send that msg to someone.

I think being BMaid at family wedding in UK with lots of family, big ceremony, dance at night is fun but being BMaid at 10 min ceremony on the beach followed by a meal for the few family/friends who would attend a foreign wedding would be disappointing for DDs anyway.

Generalising though.

Love it too can't wait to use it either .

DBF is just panicking that she'll be the only one there to babysit.