to think 40k isn't *that* high a salary?

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

Someone I know is constantly boasting that their DH earns 40k per year. Every time I meet up with her (she is in a group of friends), she will drop it into the conversation at every available opportunity. If someone admires something she's wearing she will say something like "well it was from X shop but I can afford stuff like that as DH earns 40k a year". It's difficult to explain how she does it, but somehow she manages to mention it several times each time I've seen her, not just to me but to everyone.

Now I know 40k is a decent wage compared to some, but its not that good really is it? Certainly not a wage to boast and brag about. By the time they've paid their rent (it's 1k per month, she's told us all that several hundred times too), bills and other things I wouldn't think they're left with a huge amount.

I really couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else earns but I'm just surprised that she seems to think its so unusual and so worth bragging about.

Does she work as well?

No she's a SAHM

And she sounds annoying.

It's a decent salary, but even if her husband was earning £200k she should keep her mouth shut. She's obviously proud of him, but it is crass to brag about it.

How embarrassing and vulgar, I would be just cringing in her company.

It doesn't matter how high (or low) the salary is - boasting about it is rather ... ugh. Even if her husband earned £100,000 or £500,000 I would find it rather pathetic!

She's pleasant enough but yes, very annoying. A few months ago several of us met up in town with our youngest children and had a mooch round the shops and a coffee and in Boots she was pointing out the brands of make up she uses saying "I use that but then X earns 40k a year so we can afford it".

My DH earns more than hers so I guess in theory I could say "40k? Is that all? I don't know how you manage" but I really cannot be arsed.

How very odd.

I would say, "No way? Wow! He must have a fantastic job! Dinner's on you then." (I have done this in similar circs)

My DH earns £35k. He earns double some of his friends and half of some of his others. I would imagine it's a salary to boast about!!

I'm just starting of as self employed so at the moment I earn slightly more than diddly squat!

Although I remember the day he started earning £25k and was blown away because neither of his parents had ever earned that much and he had just assumed it was beyond his reach!

People have different benchmarks and different expectations for measuring their own success by. She clearly feels £40k salary is a marker of success and she's bragging proud of that!

Just leave her to it!

She's training to maintain her status by mentioning her DH's wage and probably has some self esteem/confidence issues. Either that or she is very materialistic and grew up in poverty?

Oh hahaha Hullygully I like that, must give that one a go next time she turns up at a meet-up.

Depends. Are we talking London wages? My SIL was taken on as Grad trainee for a bank in the City and her starting salary was £60k. She is a high flyer so not exactly typical starting salary. £40K is about normal for a 30 year old mid level City paper pusher.

*would imagine it's a salary to boast about.

clearly doesn't make sense. no idea what i was trying to say, please ignore!

It's really not much at all, especially if he's the only earner in the family. What an odd thing to brag about .

I agree it would be unpleasant and vulgar even if he did earn a large amount.

Is she from a very poor background?
I know that when I first earned 40k I was doing cartwheels around my office. I felt like a billionaire .

Next time she does this, borrow that classic Maggie Smith / Countess Violet line from Downton Abbey - adopt raised eyebrows and sarcastic tone and say,

"Oh good, let's talk about money!"

At 28 seconds on this

Should shut her up.

OK, well I earn that as a single parent, once my bills are paid, granted I pay childcare costs, which they won't, there isn't a lot left and I am just making ends meet. However, even taking that in to account, I don't see they would have that much left over to boast about.

She is probably just a complete show off or very insecure for some reason and feels the need to let you all know publicly how well her DH is doing and how fab things are for her. Sounds like just the kind of person I'd like to poke in the eye.

Well it's not a bad salary but it's not like a banker's salary.

I'd say she has self esteem issues too and wants everyone to like her strange way of going about it

• though I am thinking of London/banking salaries as well, maybe in other regions/sectors it's considered a decent amount. Hardly spectacular though.

Nope, not London, but another city in the UK. I don't think she's from a poor background, not entirely sure on that one though.

What made me laugh too was that the make up brands she was referring to were things like L'Oreal and Boots No 17, not expensive ones. I guess she must assume the rest of use Collection 2000 then!

It's not a huge salary for an experienced professional working in the private sector no. And bragging about money is dreadful behaviour. I'd go with your 'is that all' response and shut her up for good .

Definitely vulgar...........

Why don't you challenge her next time...and ask her why she feels the need to tell everyone how much her husband earns

If he's the sole earner...then no, it's not THAT much

I suppose it depends where you are in the country. I live in London and tube drivers earn close to that amount. I have family in the South Wales Valleys where £40K would be quite a bit above an average salary.

I am on a City salary but none of my siblings know what I earn because there is almost no way I could comment on it without looking like I am showing off. They know I earn more and I usually pick up the bill at family events but nothing is said. I think boasting about income especially if you know others might not be as well off is deeply unpleasant.

She sounds very insecure...

Haha that sounds good, Rhinestone

How odd that everyone htinks she's insecure or whatever...
Maybe she's just completely chuffed.