to think 40k isn't *that* high a salary?

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

Someone I know is constantly boasting that their DH earns 40k per year. Every time I meet up with her (she is in a group of friends), she will drop it into the conversation at every available opportunity. If someone admires something she's wearing she will say something like "well it was from X shop but I can afford stuff like that as DH earns 40k a year". It's difficult to explain how she does it, but somehow she manages to mention it several times each time I've seen her, not just to me but to everyone.

Now I know 40k is a decent wage compared to some, but its not that good really is it? Certainly not a wage to boast and brag about. By the time they've paid their rent (it's 1k per month, she's told us all that several hundred times too), bills and other things I wouldn't think they're left with a huge amount.

I really couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else earns but I'm just surprised that she seems to think its so unusual and so worth bragging about.

Read most of the thread yesterday so might not be up to date but...

Perhaps friend feels bad/ insecure? If she's not working and still buying nice things for herself like clothes and makeup she might feel guilty about it so counteracts by saying its because her husband earns x. Like when someone complements me on an outfit and I say 'oh, it's just from primark, it was only a fiver!' but a slightly different version. Op, you said that you talk about buying reduced veg at the market and clothes from the charity shop so perhaps she feels that she has to attribute her nice clothes/ makeup to her husbands wage so she doesn't make you feel bad as she might not realise these are lifestyle decisions for you rather than necessities. She might not realise you don't feel bad about this because she would, as some people would feel bad if they didn't buy new, branded stuff all the time. I don't feel that way and I'm not saying it's something anyone should feel bad about btw.

If it is purely just boasting then maybe see it as her catchphrase and it might be a bit less annoying?

I earn more than average and it is partly good fortune that sees me in this position, it's not just hard work/ amazingness on my part, however nice it would be to have a just-world theory to look at it that way. It is good fortune that I could get a 100% mortgage so got on the property ladder, it's good fortune that there were jobs when I was looking, it's good fortune that I went to uni before mega fees have set in, it's good fortune I come from a family that didn't expect me to get a shit job at 16 to contribute to the household and instead let me go to college. Yes you have to make the best of the opportunities that come your way, but it doesn't take a phd to understand that some people never get a sniff of the opportunities that fall into other people's laps.

Depending on how young you are, what your job is, wher you live, the hours you work 40k may or may not be much.

When I started my job I was on 25k. I thought it was a fortune! It was to me then. It isn't now. Times change. People change.

My starting salary was £25k as well, coraltoes - it felt like soooo much money then, which it was, really, when it was just me in a one bedroom flat. Plus I worked such long hours that my travel and food costs were tiny as I could get a taxi on the file most days and charge dinner to the file pretty much every night! Retrospectively, 100 hour weeks for £25k were actually pretty crappy - I must have been on less than minimum wage hour for hour - but it was a really exciting time and I seemed to have lots of disposable income when I wasn't in the office. Money seems to go a lot less far now...

tardis - she and her bf are only 24 and 25 but they have just got 135k and only put down 18k with a salary joint of 29k. They are first time buyers to and the mortgage payments are only 700 quid.

It is through a mortgage broker though, thats how I got mine hsbc offered me 40k as we were both on minimum wage but through the broker I got my current place as that wouldnt get me far.

Interesting thread. Bragging is annoying, but so is rubbishing a salary that's much higher than average.

And yes, I probably think that due to some insecurity on my part. I recall having a conversation with friends who had similar education to me, had also followed their passions, we had all had promotions, we all had reasonably high levels of responsibility. Then we made the mistake of talking about money. I was the lowest earner by a mile. They were all so surprised, but heck it's just the industry I'm in. No matter how hard I work I won't earn an awful lot more without changing track. I've mostly made my peace with that but it does mean I would never sniff at someone's salary at being a bit rubbish while it's still considerably over the national average.

A salary doesn't always reflect the work, education or experience behind it.