to think 40k isn't *that* high a salary?

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

Someone I know is constantly boasting that their DH earns 40k per year. Every time I meet up with her (she is in a group of friends), she will drop it into the conversation at every available opportunity. If someone admires something she's wearing she will say something like "well it was from X shop but I can afford stuff like that as DH earns 40k a year". It's difficult to explain how she does it, but somehow she manages to mention it several times each time I've seen her, not just to me but to everyone.

Now I know 40k is a decent wage compared to some, but its not that good really is it? Certainly not a wage to boast and brag about. By the time they've paid their rent (it's 1k per month, she's told us all that several hundred times too), bills and other things I wouldn't think they're left with a huge amount.

I really couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else earns but I'm just surprised that she seems to think its so unusual and so worth bragging about.

Vulgar to boast about money at all, but you're right, £40k really isn't that much anyway! DH earns quite a lot more than that and we're a bit worried about how we will cope when I go on maternity leave shortly and we lose my (£40k) salary. We've budgeted carefully but it looks a bit precarious and I'm worried we'll end up eating into savings. Most people I know earn a lot more than £40k (outside London - in London it tends to be actual multiples of £40k). I know we're lucky to earn as much as we do, but £40k is hardly Barbados holidays territory!

Yes I think you're probably right, sidge

hexagonal, I didn't mean to offend you, just to point out that it is a little unfair to belittle the amount.

I have no idea whether you're generally mean or not, but you do sound mean for making the point about it not being much, and that I can tell based on a post on an internet forum.

If you'd just said was she BU to boast, I would have said yes, absolutely. But now if you really want to know, I am wondering if everyone on here looks down on people like me and DH - neither or us earns half that.

Sounds so cringey.

Boasting and celebrating are not remotely the same thing.

LOL @ whether it is boastworthy :o

Boasting is dickish, no matter what it is about.

Depends where you live. I live in London and earn around that - I'm just scraping by. In other areas it'd be pretty comfortable.

Its a bit 'off' for her to go on about it.

Yes, it is high compared to 'average', but not unusual.

I'd probably just say 'That's same as my DH then' every time she said it (even if it wasn't).

It's a damn sight higher than the £11,856K pa that people on NMW earn. Over 3 TIMES as much. 3.37 times to be exact. I'd say that in comparison, it is quite right to call that a HIGH wage. That is all.

LOL @ LoveIn :o

"It's vulgar to boast about money, boast, boast, boast, sneer, sneer, boast"

It's not huge compared with some, no. But it's pretty good compared with what most people earn. Obviously. It's a bit like saying 'navy blue isn't that dark a colour' - pointless without comparisons. And of course it is also dependent on outgoings too. It would be a more useful amount round here I am guessing, than in the SE.

Oh when I got my first job I'm sure I bored everyone rigid, Hex. It seemed like a kings ransom.

Nowadays I'm more circumspect 'cos I know it offends middel class sensibilities, but sure, I still tell my Mum and close mates. They always seem very chuffed for me tbh.

When you've been properly poor, you never get over how great it is not to be.

I didn't belittle the amount though, Jericho. I said in my OP that it was a decent wage compared to some. Which it is. However it's not 100k or 200k or 500k or whatever, is it? It's 40k. Above average but hardly enabling someone to live a decadent lifestyle, not with the cost of living as it is right now. That's not me being mean, or unkind, it's just fact. Surely you didn't expect me to gloss it up and say it's loads of money so as not to offend anyone earning less than that? Many do struggle on 40k, as has been illustrated by several posters on this thread.

I can see this has hit a nerve with you, but I don't think anyone on here has looked down on anyone earning less than 40k, it's the boasting that many have said isn't pleasant.

A lot of people in the SE earn £11,856k pa. £40K is a high wage in comparison.

She shouldn't show off about her DH's salary.

But for people like me who come from poor backgrounds it is a large salary.

Yes, sorry, re-read post after posting and it sounds awful . Came out wrong but not meant to be sneery . Just that most professional salaries are actually more than that (most people we know are lawyers or accountants - we are a thrilling bunch ) and I am slightly the poor relation on £40k (my salary is lower than most because of my practice area - I should have done tax!). £40k is obviously a good salary but not "bloody hell, you must have platinum plates" territory.

Jericho I really don't think most people judge you on what you earn because financial value is not equated to your value as a person (despite what some people thing). If you look at DH and I it is really difficult to guess which income bracket we are in, second hand car etc. Most of my colleagues are also on City salaries and there are no flash cars, bling etc. You wouldn't be able to judge us on what we earn unless we made a point of telling you what the amount was.

And quite frankly, the ability to earn a high salary doesn't always mean that they are a person you actually want to spend time with!

She is probably very happy and maybe she never had this income before. Its not odd, many people would be over the moon with 40K.

A friend of mine was boasting about 26K (in london) and working 'in an office' but thats because she was the only one in the family to have a proper job. It doesn't annoy me.

Would you prefer it if she was moaning? i.e.'My dh earns only 40K. It is no fair' etc.

I took your title, saying 40k isn't that much, to be belittling the amount.

I do honestly think that saying 40k is not much, is saying that it's little. It's the same thing, to me. But you are right, it touched a nerve and maybe my post was harsher than it should have been because of that.

What the actual chuff? 40K is a high wage where I live (NW)! I understand that London is a high earning area, but please remember there are places outside of it filled with plebs like me.

I cannot believe the amount of you sneering at 40k as an 'average wage' and a 'low wage'!

I have no idea how my family carries on as we earn less than that between us! .

Everyone I know earns less than that - IT, counsellors, environmental health officers, secretaries, plumbers, etc - so hardly minimum wage jobs.

chazzbrilliantattitude - that makes sense, thanks, I was being too sensitive.

No Laquitar but I'd rather not have the tedium of her talking about their income every time she meets up with us all. Most of us manage to chat perfectly well without having to mention our finances every few minutes.

YANBU about not wanting her to go about it - I think that would be a little annoying, although she may have her reasons.

YABU about thinking that 40k isn't that high a salary - we would love it if we earned that amount with BOTH our salaries put together!!

Some of the happiest people I know would be considered to be poor by 40k standards.

Happiness isn't measured solely by wealth but by life satisfaction.

That's an ideal i'm aiming for all I need to do to attain it is to get rid of my capitalist needy streak.

I agree with wordfactory to a certain extent - she probably feels pretty pleased with that amount! I was chuffed to bits when I got my first 'real' job on 10k pa..... Just to have an income in double figures

Lesley you know plumbers earning less than 40k?? Seriously? I know a few plumbers and they are all earning well in excess of 50k, some a lot more if they are self employed. It's a very lucrative trade!