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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 40k isn't *that* high a salary?

530 replies

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 30/01/2012 11:01

Someone I know is constantly boasting that their DH earns 40k per year. Every time I meet up with her (she is in a group of friends), she will drop it into the conversation at every available opportunity. If someone admires something she's wearing she will say something like "well it was from X shop but I can afford stuff like that as DH earns 40k a year". It's difficult to explain how she does it, but somehow she manages to mention it several times each time I've seen her, not just to me but to everyone.

Now I know 40k is a decent wage compared to some, but its not that good really is it? Certainly not a wage to boast and brag about. By the time they've paid their rent (it's 1k per month, she's told us all that several hundred times too), bills and other things I wouldn't think they're left with a huge amount.

I really couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else earns but I'm just surprised that she seems to think its so unusual and so worth bragging about.

OP posts:
Toomanyboysinmyhouse · 30/01/2012 12:04

My DH earns a really good salary but I would never mention it in the real world. None of my friends have ever mentioned salaries to me. The only time I have heard what people earned is when 2 of my friends husbands got made redundant and they told me the old salary and details of the redundancy package.
Your friend probably feels really chuffed with her husbands salary.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 30/01/2012 12:04

I hope some of you commenting on the vulgarity of the OP's mate whilst declaring how poor people not earning 40k or more must be realise how you come across!

"Oh, pennies must seem an absolute fortune when you were so poor growing up, fnar fnar"

MrsBovary · 30/01/2012 12:04

ROFL?

DoesNotGiveAFig · 30/01/2012 12:05

mrsbovary perhaps ask the butler to google it?

TalkinPeace2 · 30/01/2012 12:05

50% of the UK population earn under £18,500
65% earn under £26,000

MN crew live in cloud cuckoo land if they think £40k is a low salary.

No WONDER people like the RBS bankers are so loathed if they are that out of touch with the country they have broken.

OlympicEater · 30/01/2012 12:06

HuntyCat on NMW the couple would TCs and a chunk of their childcare paid for too which would help, but obviously nowhere in the region of £40k

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 30/01/2012 12:07

"No wonder people are so feckin' miserable if they don't accept when things are going well or they're afraid to celebrate it for fear of people seeing them as being vulgar.

Life is hard and short. Shout every success from the roof tops I say. And surround yourself with folk who want to celebrate with you!!!"

Word what a big load of total guff! Do you seriously expect people to want to celebrate with you constantly how much you earn? What a bore.

OP posts:
happybubblebrain · 30/01/2012 12:07

Its sounds like an astronomical salary to me, but I would not be impressed with anyone bragging about it. She doesn't earn it anyway, her husband does, nothing to do with her. I'd just ignore or avoid her.

PushyDad · 30/01/2012 12:08

I don't see any evidence of people looking down their nose at £40k. The OP asked if it was something to boast about. Some, including myself, said no, its not. If posters want to read anything negative in this then this is reflection of their insecurities rather than others being snobish.

TalkinPeace2 · 30/01/2012 12:08

Tax credits are designed to bring personal incomes up to £17500 a year

can tell most of the posters on here have NO idea why much of the country is so angry and broke.
Astounding and depressing.

JerichoStarQuilt · 30/01/2012 12:08

Well, I didn't grow up what I'd think of as poor, but I still feel 40k is a good salary and one I'd be pleased to get. It's not very easy getting jobs at all at the moment, is it?

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 30/01/2012 12:09

Lesley that is really interesting to know.

I guess the plumbers that we know that are doing really well have been trading for years and so have big long-term contracts and established customer bases.

OP posts:
LoveInAColdClimate · 30/01/2012 12:09

Slightly off-topic, but I have been really shocked by how little my £40k-odd salary will translate into after childcare if I went back to work part time. I know there's another thread on this at the moment, but it really seems wrong that you need to earn such a lot to make working and paying for childcare worthwhile in the short term (overlooking the "keeping your job and qualifications open" side of it).

Laquitar · 30/01/2012 12:09

I live out of Spain for 30 yrs and i still compare my income with wages there. And i feel rich Grin

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 30/01/2012 12:09

I totally agree, pushydad. I was thinking the same thing myself.

OP posts:
MrsBovary · 30/01/2012 12:09

Ah of course, it's text (mobile phone luddite Blush)

Don't be silly, Fig

OhdearNigel · 30/01/2012 12:10

We have a combined household income of about £70k. We're still skint Grin

I would imagine the relative "loaded-ness" of £40k depends on where you live. £40k in North Wales would go a lot further than in Chelsea

wordfactory · 30/01/2012 12:10

talkin your average person in the city knows full well where they sit financially. Money is part and parcel of everyday life.

Tis the middel classes who have no clue. £40k isn't that much. No one must speak of money of successes. No one must buy anything that speaks of money. Poor poeple are just lovely as long as they stay poor, once they get some cash they are nouveau riche Grin

Killmenowpls · 30/01/2012 12:10

I don't understand why you'd brag about it anyway Confused Its not you earning it (in her case) its her husband. Weird.

sherbetpips · 30/01/2012 12:10

depends, as a sole wage coming in then no not really that amazing and as you say cant be much left (depends on life style I suppose). I personally would be happy to reach that goal myself (nearly there fingers crossed). But our lifestyle means our joint wage needs to be much higher.
My siblings all earn 6 figures salaries so I guess I would describe 6 figures as a good wage.

CamperFan · 30/01/2012 12:11

She sounds weird and completely up herself tbh, and I was reminded of the Harry Enfield character too. I don't know how you manage to keep your mouth shut OP!

foglike · 30/01/2012 12:11

I would describe a 6 figure salary as rich :)

Floggingmolly · 30/01/2012 12:12

No, it's not, and even if it was she's being both vulgar and crass. Have you never called her on it? I think I'd have to.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 30/01/2012 12:14

The thing is though, it is a fact that, these days, 40k isn't a lot. Yes, it sounds a lot. Yes, it is more than a lot of salaries. But it still isn't a huge amount. Take home income on that amount of gross salary is £2,400 ish per month.

So, with rents being so high at the moment, someone might be paying 1k per month on rent (as my friend is). Council tax, maybe £160 per month. Food, perhaps £400 per month for a family. That's 1.5k of the wage gone already! Car costs, utility bills, clothes, kids activities. I'm sure they would eat up every penny of that 40k. That's not me being mean or looking down my nose at 40k, it's cold hard facts.

OP posts:
DoesNotGiveAFig · 30/01/2012 12:14

You are looking down on folks who earn less than £40k when you make comments to the effect of it being a low wage - like you can't be proud of it* because it doesn't compare to "the city" earnings. It's all relative to your location.

It's coming across as incredibly snobbish when posters are scoffing at a 40k wage.

*not endorsing mentioning it in the way OPs mate does