to think that it is my business where the DCs sleep when they are at their dad's

[workshy]

the dcs stay at their dad's alternate weekends

dd1 stays in single room, dd2 sleeps on blow up matress on the floor in xps room

they started this when she was 6, she is a very restless sleeper so would keep dd1 awake and dd1 is excessively grumpy when tired so he prefers they sleep in seperate rooms -up to him!
but now she is 8 and he tells me he probably won't be moving for about 12 months, I'm starting to feel that it's not necessarily appropriate for him to be sharing a room with DD

I know it's his weekend his rules but this is starting to bother me

do I say something or leave it up to him?

YABU

If you have any concerns about your child's safety then you shouldnt be allowing them there overnight. If you havent, then I dont see why it should be a problem. It is her father, not a stranger.

They are not sharing a bed. You dont mention your daughter feeling uncomfortable with this.

What exactly is bothering you about it?

Why dont you think its appropriate?

why is it not appropriate? As an alternative, if she doesn't like it, perhaps she could sleep in with dd1?

Leave it up to him unless it actually bothers your DD to sleep in her Dad's room.

I can't see how it can be inappropriate though? He's her Dad, she's 8. My 8yo DD still gets into bed with me and DH if she has a bad dream.

YABU

like others have said why is this inapproriate?

He's her dad! She's only 8! Why on earth would it be inappropriate?

it's not a safety issue, I'm not concerned about that,

I can't actually put my finger on what is wrong with it or why I'm niggled -but I am

he doesn't bath her anymore (niether do I), when they go swimming they change seperately, but he sleeps in his boxers in the same room?

I just find it odd

YABU.

I get why you wouldn't want her in there with some bloke off the street, but he's her father.

I would put the DDs in the same room in the double bed and tip out into the single

don't know why he doesn't

I'm starting to feel that it's not necessarily appropriate for him to be sharing a room with DD

Oh god please don't say that you think its inappropriate because hes a man?

Would you like him to say similiar to you?

Your posts are grossly offensive to fathers.

Dont be so bloody pathetic. Sleeping in his boxers in a different bed does not make him an abuser - which you are implying with all the 'cant put my finger on it ... 'doesnt sit right' purile posts.

My son is almost 8 and if he is ill or has a bad dream he gets into bed with me and we kick DP out to the spare room. This is totally a non issue, unless there is a particular reason for you feeling like this and if there is then why are they staying there at all?

YABU.

Unless you have suspicions you haven't talked about in your OP, YABU.

If you had a son, would you have the same concerns?

If you had a son, would you banish him from your bedroom?

When I stayed with my Dad I slept in his room as it was the only place I culd sleep. I did this from age 7 until I stopped staying at his as a teenager. It never bothered me.

YABU

My ds is 7 and a half and still has his bed in our bedroom, (ludricously small house).

Why on earth do you think it is odd?

I don't share a room with dds, never have, even when they were tiny they have always been in their own rooms (well from 3 months old)

I am not trying to be offensive, as I have said I have no safety concerns, and I acnnot be specific about why it niggles, all I know is it does

it may just be that I am bothered that he doesn't seem to want to put down permanent roots and give them a 'room' -he currently can't fit a bunk into the single room as it is rented and has fitted cupboards over the bed
the fact that they live out of a suitcase and on a blow up matress is unsettling, and she doesn't have her own space at daddy's house

as I said, not trying to be offenisve, just being niggled

I'm not a man basher, never have and never will be

Dd is 8 and reasonably regularly sleeps (gasp) in same bed as me. Sometimes she shares with dh if ds1 or ds2 is ill and I'm in with one or other of them - she craves company at night and if they're having me in with them, then she would want to be in with me or dh and me AND dh. She's not fussy. Nor is ds1 and ds2 is next to me in bed right now because he has a cold and can't sleep and it's cold and he's like a pocket sized hot water bottle

drip drip drip

OMG what a bloody insult to your children's Dad!

Sorry but what on earth is wrong with them sharing the same room or even the same bed for that matter?

Would you think it inappropriate if your DD slept on a floor in your room?

Coming from that angle, then YANBU.

Bit of a strange way to start the thread tho.

I suppose he could put the blow up mattress in the living room, but that would be up to them to decide on.

If their dad takes them swimming, then they see him in shorts anyway quite a lot!

I had to tell my ExH to stop bathing my DD when she turned 8, He went mental - 'What are you suggesting?' blah blah - but it was ok when he twigged that he just hadn't thought it through. She was embarrassed by it (being bathed), but didn't like to tell her dad.

Is your DD embarrassed by something? I presume she undresses herself privately, as does your Ex?

Otherwise I think everything sounds pretty normal.