About DBro's wedding and 'no children' rule ?

[TippleMacFreddy]

It is very possible that I am being unreasonable. But.....

My eldest brother is getting married, big lavish do, the whole shebang.

His fiancée is alright and I am close to my brother.

The weekend of the wedding me and DH will have a 10 day old DC1. ( I have to have a C-sec)
The wedding is near DBro fiancée's home town which is about 6 hours from where we live.
If it was anyone else we would have made our apologies.
But I am close to my brother and he asked if I would do a reading at ceremony. So we had decided to go.

They had decided that there would be no children invited to the wedding (at night, very big but a very 'grown up')
Me and DBro have had many a long chats about the wedding and such. And I always assumed that the 'no kids' rule didn't include our DC (esp. as me and DBro have talked about how if it wasn't him we wouldn't go)

Anyway we were talking today and it transpired that DC will count in this rule.

I got back to them later saying that unfortunately that means we can't go and explained why.

My DBro is upset.

Tonight I have received an email from his fiancée and 2 texts saying - that I could leave DC behind, that they will be fine, that I should 'put the effort in' as it is their wedding, and he is my brother, that I should be there.

AIBU to think that if they want me there that badly then they will have to accept that DC will be there as well?
And also
AIBU to think that those messages are just plain childish?

My DH is very close to his family, and he insists we have to have his grandparents (in their 80s) for Sunday lunch twice a year. Whenever we have any sort of a party, his sisters and brother in laws all have to be invited. We are put upon to babysit for his sister (I work part-time, sister-in-law works fulltime, and her little boy is regularly faking illness, as he prefers me or grandparents to nursery).

If your brother wants you and your family at his wedding, then you should be there. You compromise for the people you love. I want DH to be happy, so I include his family in our life. They are all very nice, so it' not really an issue, but regardless of this, it makes him happy, so I really would not have it any different.

I think your brother's fiance is a bitch by the way.

I find the texts thoughtless, but for me, the worse part, is that your brother does not have much family, and for her to not want included his sister, brother in law, and nephew/ niece is appalling. She should want him to share the day with his loved ones, not just hers.

Just to add to what others have said, I had a planned CS and was in hospital for a week, my journey home was 6 miles and hell on earth. No way would I even think of going to this wedding. Send a telegram with a nice message and enjoy spending stress free time with your baby and husband.

The clue is in the title "children". Its obvious to any sane person that babes in arms are not included in this. It would go against every instinct for a first time mother to leave a 10 day old baby behind and travel for 6 hours.

OLD THREAD ALERT
It has been resurrected by spammer marrie11 - I have reported.