to not want to lie about the fact that DP shagged a prostitute?

[ThisIsNotMyLife]

I've thrown him out. He still denies it though.

People are asking me why I threw him out. Obviously DP would like me to keep to stum. Should I keep it to myself for the sake of a quiet life? I haven't told anyone yet.

and by association, that women do not contribute to the ridiculous notion that she has anything to be ashamed of

telling her to "keep quiet" does exactly that

Christ AF, he wasn't your DP.

God this thread is so depressing. Apart from your attitude OP. WHY are we as women hell bent on socially protecting these men who think it's acceptable to BUY women's bodies? Why are we always sweeping prostitution under the rug and letting them get away with it?

I'm with AF. Tell the truth and let him own his mistake. Why lessen it to 'cheating'?

If I heard a woman had thrown out her partner for sleeping with a prostitute i'd mark her down as a strong, decisive woman with zero tolerance for misogynist bullshit. And I'd avoid his nasty ass.

Honestly, men are never going to stop doing this crap if there's never any social consequence for them.

AF "did you see an opening because squeaky started it first? "

:o You have got to be joking!! :o

Keeping quiet shows dignity. What exactly would be achieved by telling the world? Just looks unrestrained and bitter.

I agree Solpadeine. Dignity is all in these matters.

I'd really really want to tell, but it will be better for you if you don't. People don't need to know all your business. If you want to tell your close friends and family, then do, but don't tell everyone and keep it off FB, as you will make yourself the target for gossip, and people can twist anything.

Also the fact that he didn't know what day it was he went, makes me think it's not this one time.

"Speak highly of your friends, say nothing of your enemies"

...and all that.

I think ( as I said) tell if you want to, but not if it's not in your best interests.

Your call.

There are times when we should put ourselves first. This is one of those times, OP

< falls into quod 's arms >

thank God

I'd probably just say he was seeing another woman and leave it at that, the term prostitute brings a lot of baggage with it.

Well the thought of humliating him publically is really warming my cockels. Not to mention the fact that I'd quite like to claim the moral high ground and have a moan about it in real life.

Everybody thinks he's great. He's sort of like a younger version of Brian Blessed, it's bugging me that everybody is giving him sympathy.

'Dignity is all in these matters.'

I like the image of him with feathers up his arse, tar down his throat and being on display in the Tate Modern.
Swan feathers are particularly robust OP, don't be making do with weedy little pigeon fluff.

Sophadeine women have been quiet and dignified for centuries about marital rape, violence, infidelity and all the rest of it. And continued to be shat on as a consequence.

Bollocks to that - we should call a spade a spade even if (shock horror) it makes some people uncomfortable to hear it.

BTW I don't think I'd be saying he wasn't good with money as that's not really the issue here is it ? I'd maybe say I couldn't trust him anymore.

hallelujah

He emailed a prostitute?? And then lent you his laptop?

I think if anyone asked I would tell them. Anyone at all, assuming I actually liked them. I wouldn't post it on Facebook, not because of shame but because I have some concept of privacy. If you want to be strictly accurate, you could say that you caught him soliciting sex from prostitutes. I have no doubt that anyone who spoke to you face to face would find that more than enough, never mind whether he actually dipped his wick or not - which I'm sure he did.

There may be tortured gossip out there, but if you always give a completely accurate answer, you don't have to worry about trying to maintain some sort of front. You poor thing. Well done for drawing a line on this one.

Solpadeine, we are indeed all individuals with our own opinions; opinions can be given without belittling others though.

Thisisnotmylife if you want to tell people, tell them. I agree you shouldn't cover up for him. If you think it will help you feel better and more in control of the situation then do it. He's a pig.

No way I'd cover for the bad behaviour of some scummy ex. Why? Not my bad behaviour! Just like I make no secret of the nasty, abusive behaviour of an ex.
He should have kept his dignity by not paying a woman for sex. OP has done the dignified thing by throwing him out, and is more than entitled to confide the reason why to anyone who asks.
When are woman going to stop carrying men's shame for them?

Well done OP for kicking him out. Always tell the truth-anything else is complicit.
I predict that you will meet a lovely man this year who will not be a) a scumbag and b) thick as pigshit.

I'd be shouting it from the rooftops and taking out a full page advert in the local paper if I were OP! almost

Why should she keep quiet about it and then let the next poor unsuspecting woman get taken in and in the meantime have everyone speuclating about why?

No, tell everyone!

I wish an ex's ex girlfriend had actually told the truth about why they split up as it would have saved me a whole lot of bother

I wouldn't lie. And I would tell everyone what actually happened. What a cunt.

no, no FB stuff

and if I were your friend or relative OP, I would be standing up for you in that shop, pub, hgh street etc and countering any stupid gossip generated by ignorant people

I wouldn't be able to do that though, if you didn't tell me