to not want to lie about the fact that DP shagged a prostitute?

[ThisIsNotMyLife]

I've thrown him out. He still denies it though.

People are asking me why I threw him out. Obviously DP would like me to keep to stum. Should I keep it to myself for the sake of a quiet life? I haven't told anyone yet.

< starts to feel a bit less depressed at the thought that MN was full of man-pleasing Stepfords >

She doesnt need to LIE.

She can tell people he was unfaithful and cheated on her.

She doesnt need to tell people he was seeing a prostitute, and potentially have people talking about her behind her back.

The first thing anyone ever says on here when someone posts about their partner sleeping around is to go and get a STD test. Good advice and I am certainly not knocking that at all. What I personally would not want is other people in my real life whispering behind my back that I have got an STD.

By all means show him up for the arsehole that he is, but consider yourself first, and if you know that the people who you tell might gossip, then think twice before supplying them with the ammunition to do so.

What is so bloody wrong with putting yourself first?

'Sophadeine women have been quiet and dignified for centuries about marital rape, violence, infidelity and all the rest of it. And continued to be shat on as a consequence'.

I'm not suggesting rape and violence should be kept quiet about.

Bollocks to that - we should call a spade a spade even if (shock horror) it makes some people uncomfortable to hear it.

Calling a spade a spade is a euphamism for being belligerent and rude.

I'm wondering if the sorts of people who are worried about gossip are the sorts who gossip themselves

so you have never heard other people gossiping then?

you dont have to be a gossip to know that other people do it..

siamo ruder than "antagonistic twat" ? really ?

Being dignified doesn't = being a pushover.
OP was talking about publishing it on FB? That is guaranteed to start gossip. Need to know basis is better IMHO.

But he wasn't 'unfaithful'. He solicited paid sex. I think there's a difference.

solpa...would it be "rude" of OP then to tell people the truth ?

I guess you might think that, if you were a user of prostituted women

but otherwise, no

It is not my business to police what other people say to YOU AF - that is your business. Report it (you know - like you told me to report you! ) If you find being called an antagonistic twat very upsetting there are remedies for that. Personally it wouldn't bother me - it is, at least, gender neutral!

I suspect there are a fair few Stepfords ( read that as non-sensationalist) on here, and thank God for it.

Oh God, it was me who mentioned Facebook. sorry, the OP never even suggested it! This is how incorrect gossip gets round, unfortunately, and why a consistent message is really important IMO.

Sorry OP, I don't know why I mentioned the website of Beelzebub. Ignore all FB references.

I know AF can well speak up for herself but really, can you stop this targetting of her, she's said nowt wrong and your arguing is spoiling the thread for OP.

Joan OP talked about FB

ThisIsNotMyLife Sun 22-Jan-12 19:58:27
My first inclination was to post it on facebook and email the evidence to everyone he knew.

It would depend on why she was telling people really. If it was for support, then no. If it was to extract maximum humiliation, then possibly.

But he wasn't 'unfaithful'. He solicited paid sex. I think there's a difference

It wouldnt matter to me if my husband shagged a woman at work, a prostitute, or next doors guinea pig... I would call it being unfaithful.. amongst other things.

I did mention facebook, but that was just my first reaction when I found out.

I'm looking at the agencies website; they're terribly well organised. They have a rota and a price list.

oh phew. Clearly i got it from somewhere and was not just free-associating.

www.newcastle-massage.com/

Why on earth would you tell anybody unless your looking for a bit of drama to be involved in? I wonder if you haven't just gotten the wrong end of the stick and he really is innocent. I've never met a drama queen that didn't run around getting attention for stuff that only ever existed in their imaginations.

Its nobody else's business what went on in your marriage and you should have enough dignity and self respect to keep others out of it.

www.newcastle-massage.com/

That's better.

you have quoted me so I don't have to say it agin, squeaky

what I said to you does not compare to your comeback

and < yawn > about my username

really, you are stooping low to attempt to paste me in the wrong because of that