to not want to lie about the fact that DP shagged a prostitute?

[ThisIsNotMyLife]

I've thrown him out. He still denies it though.

People are asking me why I threw him out. Obviously DP would like me to keep to stum. Should I keep it to myself for the sake of a quiet life? I haven't told anyone yet.

God that's awful, OP, what a bastard. Whilst TTC

I would certainly tell my family and friends. No-one else is going to ask why you split up.

There is no shame for you. It is no reflection on you.

Is it that black and white? Surely you tell people you are close to the truth,and anyone else whatsoever you want?

If you don't want to tell people OP then don't. You can keep your personal life just that, personal. But, for the love of God, do not feel like you have to keep it to yourself because of what your absolute idiot of a P did. I think you will need someone in RL (but do please keep posting for support) and absolutely you should tell them everything you need to.

exactly MrsC

people close to you are who needs to know

if it got out further, so be it

if I behaved so badly, I would expect that I wouldn't get away with it either

'dust so you would be happy to continue supporting that sort of mindset would you ?'

No, but it depends on how strong the OP is feeling and if she wants to face that sort of attitude and wade through the shit.

Yes tell them!

On another note, are you ok? How are your personal circumstances with living accommodation etc? Be sure to get some advice - I am sure there are boards here that can advise you on moving on and being secure etc

How old are you?

I wouldn't run out of my way to tell people, however if i was asked the direct question i'd tell the truth.

He decided to engage the services of a sex worker. Let the fucker own it.

Good Luck thisisnot.

I think you should tell people whatever YOU want to tell them, and don't worry about his feelings or his reaction at all. It's a good first step toward focusing on yourself and shedding any thought of him for the future.

Personally, I'm quite private, I don't like everyone knowing my business. I would probably say he cheated on me, but would leave out the salacious details. You really don't have control over the story once it gets out and I for one have too many old aunties in the family who would ask me horribly inappropriate questions.

But again, it's not about what anyone else would do. What is your first inclination?

In fact AF, I don't know anyone in my family that has gone through this, unlike squeakytoy.
But I have worked in schools where the playground gossip could have kept several scandal sheets and a dozen lawyers busy for years. Often to the detriment of the innocent party.

What's your problem with AF Squeakytoy?

Spot on bohemian !

shag, rewind a bit, eh

oh, and mind your own

I would advice anyone in this situation to hold their head high

because anything else smacks of buying in to the false premise that this was in any way her fault

It's just different POV isn't it? Which is what the OP wanted surely?
AF disagrees with ST and vice versa.

Oh I'm fine. The flat is entirely in my name and I've taken his keys. I've just got a feeling that I'm going to be blamed for throwing him out by mutal friends.

These things don't happen to me. I used to have nice, boring life.

Id tell anybody who asked, they so far as Im concerned would need to know what a shit bag he was. He deserves no respect from anybody, and he certainly does not deserve people feeling sorry for him for the breakdown of his marriage.

But playground gossip isn't a factor here.

I'm staggered that people keep asking the OP if she's sure.

OP, tell your dad maybe. See how that goes and how you feel having told.

If it was me, I'd tell close friends. I'd tell others that he lied and cheated. But I do have DCs so for me the 'your dad slept with a prostitute' aspect would be a concern.

So sorry this has happened, OP. You owe him NOTHING.

What's your problem with AF Squeakytoy?

My problem with her is that on this thread she has implied that I am a bitchy gossip and that I was part of the gossiping that went on in the example I gave of why it can backfire on someone to be too honest to others about your personal life.

Is that not obvious from the posts on the thread?

Not that I can can see how it concerns you what my "problem" with her is.

I think I would tell close friends, but I would be cautious as I would worry the children would hear about it. Yes, your husband is a pig, but you need to protect your children from gossip.

Well done on kicking him out, stay strong x

My first inclination was to post it on facebook and email the evidence to everyone he knew.

Then I calmed down and threw the mangy fucker out.

Is anyone on this thread saying or implying that the OP is in any way responsible for her husband's behaviour?

I would tell no one apart from his mother

Sounds like you know what you are doing OP, so I'd keep on making your own decisions instead of asking us lot who are squabbling already.
I think you've got a better idea of the way forward than us!