to not want to lie about the fact that DP shagged a prostitute?

[ThisIsNotMyLife]

I've thrown him out. He still denies it though.

People are asking me why I threw him out. Obviously DP would like me to keep to stum. Should I keep it to myself for the sake of a quiet life? I haven't told anyone yet.

anyone noticed that the OP has gone?

not bloody surprised. usually these threads turn into a bun fight on the leave the bastard front.
so op has done that.

whats left to fight about?

just in case your about OP, i would tell who you trust first and then see how you feel when youve got it "out there", i would certainly tell your family as they will be wondering what the hell is going on anyway and will no doubt want to support you.

as to the rest, that is entirely up to you. you say what ever you feel ok saying to whoever you feel ok saying it to, i would just tell people on a person by person basis, depending on how you feel at the time, who they are, if they being nosey or wanting to genuinely support.

you sound a bloody good judge of character to me - trust yourself.
as for the GUM clinic - go a little further afield, google it, if it were me, i would want to take a pal with me for support, but thats me. You may want to do that alone?

but take support and strength from you family, and your friends. I wouldnt hide the truth from them. the rest you can deal with later.

good luck OP.

No kids? Do what helps you feel better, then.

I think I would have more fun almost telling - dropping broad clues and letting them wonder....

just have to add...am really shocked by number on this thread who seem to think 'cheating' and paying to screw a woman are essentially the same thing...

If anyone asks, tell them the truth. It's no reflection on you that he thinks women can be bought as a sexual plaything, but it is a reflection on him. It's his reputation that's vulnerable here, not yours OP. On the contrary, you'll have a justifiable reputation as a strong woman who won't tolerate a man abusing women, whoever they are. Well done and stay strong.

Tell anyone?
Postman?
You know what a lot of people here are caught up in the rage of kick 'im in clackers,shame the bastard

In reality, eg not mn world.one would use judgement and tell those whom one could get support from,those who would know how to handle such a disclosure. Not the fruit loop who launch into the men all twats,rise up and roar like the goddess you are speech

It's a judgement call

At last some subtle wisdom ScottishMummy

• not the usual sledge hammer to crack a nut ... and probably his ones

If anyone asked the reason for the split I probably wouldn't simply say "he shagged a prostitute" as it would make ME feel a little grubby... (sod his feelings for sure) but it wouldn't become a 'never to be told secret' either.

Completely agree with Scottishmummy.

In reality, eg not mn world.one would use judgement and tell those whom one could get support from,those who would know how to handle such a disclosure. Not the fruit loop who launch into the men all twats,rise up and roar like the goddess you are speech

Agree.

I wonder if the fruit loops would actually ever do what they advise, as a matter of curiosity.

Highly unlikely. I have never met anyone in the real world who comes out with some of the "all men are bastards and must be put in their place" advice and actually carries it out.

I can't tell you how I know this, but I do have to say that a vast number of outwardly "normal" men use prostututes (usually as "escorts" rather than street hookers).

When I say normal, off the top of my head I can think of:
Lawyers
Doctors
Preists (yes really)
Rabbis (again, yes really)
Film stars
Refuse collectors
Chefs
Teachers

With the advent of the internet it is actually a lot easier to sort out on a whim than it was pre-internet.
I think the reasons men use prostitutes varies a lot too, but I would say the two main ones are; convenience of having a sexual encounter with no need to emotionally connect or commit to anything, and sexual fetish (as sunshine said).
Interestingly a few men really go to prostitutes to talk, because they are lonely.
Men who use hookers seem to be able to dissasociate from the fact that they are using a human being, and that all prostitutes have a pretty sad reason why they are doing what they do. (Yes, all.)

It rarely has anything to do with whatever woman is in the customer's life.
Incidentally, I have never met a sex worker who didn't hate men with every fibre of her being.
If men actually realised how much prostitutes hate them, they probably wouldn't want to see them anymore.

Goodness me, anybody who happens along here would think the Gruesome Twosome had come back with the express purpose of re-igniting a nasty ruck

Surely not AF, that would be far too antagonistic and I think that's meant to be your job

I have not seen anyone here suggest that the OP tells everyone in the entire world, starting with her postman and working her way along. It has been said that the OP should feel free to tell whoever she choses to tell and that she has done nothing to feel ashamed of so could, if she chose, tell everyone she knows without shame on herself.

And the only people using the "all men are bastards" phrase on this thread are the people who have also bandied about insults like "twat", "fucker" and "fruit loop" while trying to imply that the people they are slagging off are the ones at fault.

So right back at you, do you behave like this in real life? Do you go about calling people twits, fuckers and fruit loops to their faces just because they disagree with you?

Bloody auto correct. "Twats, fuckers and fruit loops"

How are you feeling today OP?

Don't worry too much about the GUM clinic. I'm sure no one will notice you going in, even if they did there are all sorts of reasons you would be going, I don't think anyone would assume anything.

It sounds like you will be so much better off without him. Can you book yourself something nice to do? After all this, you could really use a nice break for yourself!

I'm fine. Amazed at the amount of posts this has attracted. I suppose it's got the scandal and a nice juicy topic for people to debate.

It's been quite cathartic. I still haven't told anybody though I will if they ask.

Glad you are feeling okay today OP.

How long until his testing results are available ?

They should be here by the end of the week - be nice to know he's clear but even then he's not getting back in to my bloody house.

I would tell anyone who asked.

Bollocks to covering up for hooker-shagger-fuckwit.

Glad to hear it

Northen wreck- I have worked with sex workers for a long time and they do not all hate men.

I think you need to prioritise yourself. What will be most beneficial to you, short-term, and long-term?

In my opinion, I don't like the idea of holding it in for his benefit, at a time when you must really need to talk to people in RL. Why put his embarrassment above your emotional needs?

Of course, I don't like the idea of telling everyone I might know, though, because I wouldn't want to define myself to comparative or complete strangers in terms of him, i.e. as Jessie-who-dumped-that-absolute-bastard, after I'd put it behind me.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

i agree with vicarinatutu.

hope you're ok thisisnotmylife.

I would tell anyone who would listen.