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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody stag dos

195 replies

LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 19/01/2012 22:19

3 x weddings (so far) to attend this summer. 2 x stag dos. One wedding is child-free - tricky with a baby and toddler but hey ho.

DH has just asked if he can go on a stag do. Undecided city in Europe for a weekend. Every year there is at least one stag do abroad and it drives me mad. UK ones I can cope with - he can do one night or even two but it doesn't cost the price of a small holiday and take up valuable family time.

We go to a lot of weddings. DD (2 1/2) has been to 14.

AIBU to ask DH not to go? He will go to the other UK one, and to all the bloody weddings.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 20/01/2012 23:46

fair to whom, pictish ?

MrLoopy is going on one of the several stag do's, that has been agreed

he is going to all the weddings

loopy has to take the kids on her "equivalent"

money doesn't sound to be in abundance

he chose to be a family man, he sucks it up

he isn't a footloose and responsibility-free single man any more

are you saying he should be going on any and all of them, at the expense of his family ?

AThingInYourLife · 20/01/2012 23:48

You're looking after him!

If you can't afford this trip, why is he putting you in the position of saying no?

A responsible partner and parent doesn't push their luck like that.

And as for all this "sad" bollocks - why should you feel bad that he wants to do something that your family circumstances don't allow?

Why is his "sadness" at not being able to afford something he wants something you even know about?

How childish is he to feel seriously sad about that?

anonacfr · 20/01/2012 23:48

Sad or not if there isn't enough money he can't go. As an adult he should be able to understand that and get over it.
And you shouldn't have to feel guilty about it.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 20/01/2012 23:50

OK, fair enough.

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 20/01/2012 23:52

Yes, never in the history of the world has anyone ever used their supposed sadness at not getting their own way to guilt trip the person who denied them.

As parents, I'm sure we all know that all sadness is 100% real and very important and should always be indulged and taken seriously, no matter how trivial the supposed cause.

AnyFucker · 20/01/2012 23:52

loopy, those posters are not my sockies

do you think I am a mean person ?

why did you say I couldn't say he was BU to be "sad" but they can ?

Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 20/01/2012 23:55

Well, I can't help but feel this has been done to death now.

I should ask DH not to go.

I was kind of hoping he'd make that decision himself, but that appears too much to ask.

I will try not to feel guilty.

I'll tell him to man up (euch) if he complains of feeling sad.

I'll send him to AF if he strops, gets angry, guilt trips or otherwise contravenes the MN code of twattish husbandry.

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 20/01/2012 23:55

I'm your socky!

Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 20/01/2012 23:56

Oh AF lovely, I know they aren't your sockies! It is you who hammered it out of me! I do think you went after him too much, and I know you don't know me in RL but I was a bit pissed off that you thought so little of my judgment. He is not a twat. But OK, he's been a bit of a boychild.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 20/01/2012 23:57

And no, I know you're not a mean person. Dog with a bone, yes, but not mean. I've already told you you're one of my favourites. Stop being so needy woman!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 20/01/2012 23:58

Loopy I would do all of those things...even the last one! Lol

But when he feels sad, I would give him a cuddle.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking on board the fact he's bound to feel that way and understanding it.

In the same way that if you ever felt sad about anything, I would hope he'd cuddle and support you too.

You do love each other after all don't you Smile

Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 20/01/2012 23:59

:) Worra :) love you too :)

OP posts:
Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 20/01/2012 23:59

Did you just LOL?

OP posts:
Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 21/01/2012 00:00

So when are we off to Vegas AF?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/01/2012 00:01

it's not faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiir

< strokes knitted friends >

susiedaisy · 21/01/2012 00:02

Eagerly awaits invite, may feel sad if I don't get one Sad

AnyFucker · 21/01/2012 00:03

loopy, we fly at 2am

you up for it ?

bring your dancin' shoes

Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 21/01/2012 00:03

We're not really going to Vegas, are we? Was it a ruse? :(

OP posts:
Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 21/01/2012 00:03

Helll yeah. Where from? You think it can come out of the stag do fund?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/01/2012 00:04

Oh yes I'm 'out and proud' on the Lolling front I'm afraid Grin

Blush
Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 21/01/2012 00:04

Have I got time to feed the baby and get to the airport? Where might my passport be?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/01/2012 00:05

loopy, how did I evaluate your judgement ?

from what you said on this thread, of course

but you have misunderstood my angle completely

it wasn't your judgement I was forming an opinion on

Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 21/01/2012 00:06

Has the MN font changed a little bit recently?

My "Did you just LOL?" looks more like I said it aloud than it usually would. Does that make sense? As I said, it's been a long day.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/01/2012 00:06

don't bring the sodding baby

leave the baby with your husband

Original poster
LoopyLoopsHootyHoots · 21/01/2012 00:06

You don't think I'm dim and naive then? Cos I won't have this argument in Vegas.

OP posts: