Bloody stag dos

[LoopyLoopsHootyHoots]

3 x weddings (so far) to attend this summer. 2 x stag dos. One wedding is child-free - tricky with a baby and toddler but hey ho.

DH has just asked if he can go on a stag do. Undecided city in Europe for a weekend. Every year there is at least one stag do abroad and it drives me mad. UK ones I can cope with - he can do one night or even two but it doesn't cost the price of a small holiday and take up valuable family time.

We go to a lot of weddings. DD (2 1/2) has been to 14.

AIBU to ask DH not to go? He will go to the other UK one, and to all the bloody weddings.

Agree with AF

Thanks susie. :)

OK AF, maybe 'sad' wasn't the right word. 'sorry' not to go? left out? You know what I mean. It;s semantics for goodness sake!

Anyhow, are you up to anything nice this weekend?

yanbu. My DH wouldn't even want to go and spend family funds on a week end abroad without the rest of us, and neither would I for a hen do.

it's not semantics

your use of language is telling, it's reflecting him

me ?

I'm off on a hen weekend to Vegas, didn't I say ?

really?!

can I come?

only kidding.

Well....I'd be sad...sorry, whatever....if I missed out on a good old knees up all my friends were going to for a weekend, abroad.
It has happened....I have missed out on a long weekend in Amsterdam with my mates because I couldn't afford to join them.
I felt sad.
Is that ok AF? That I was sad about it?

I went on a Hen do to New York 2 years ago, my hubby is off to Riga later in the year for 5 days. Why shouldn't men and women be able to enjoy themselves without their OHs from time to time?

Not if you're a grown man, pictish. Or does the sadness rule apply to women too?

Yes, the money is a major factor. I'm working full time and supporting the family, plus a relative, on a teacher's salary. That's not really enough for random jollies.

Life is for enjoying IMO! Break out the credit card if you have to.

It's ok to feel sad when you can't go somewhere

I felt sad last November when I couldn't go to Ireland to see my friend's DD get married.

We just couldn't afford it right before Christmas.

I don't 'save' my sad feelings for death or other really bad things...it's just a natural human emotion.

But I got over it and I'm sure your DH will too OP

I'm another that nods along to your posts AF. I do.
I think you're bold and driven to get to the heart of the matter.
I think that you're mostly right.

But what I'm reading here isn't right.
You are being fanatical - this poor chump here isn't permitted feelings now.
He's just to do as he's told and be grateful for it.

You are not being fair.

Spot on pictish.

He sounds incredibly childish and selfish and very far from a feminist's ideal husband.

If I ever come back as a man I'm definitely going to pull that naive little-boy-lost shit so I can do whatever I want and have women bending over backwards to look after me and make sure I'm not "sad".

No, I'm not adopting a cavalier attitude to credit card debt when we've no way of paying it back, children and a mortgage. Doesn't strike me as the soundest of advice...

don't ask me, pictish

weigh up your "sadness" at your wants against the needs of the family

like loopy is doing here, on behalf of her husband (since he seems a bit squeamish about it)

Who's looking after him?

If someone is sad, they're sad.

If you love them, give them a cuddle and make them feel better.

I could never be so hard hearted and dismissive of anyone's feelings...let alone someone I love.

It's not for me to judge what I deem 'worthy of sadness'...it's a human emotion for goodness sake.